Pick Your Poison. Lauren Child
life of smiling and waving but mainly because Ambassador Crew was much more focused on himself than he was on them.
‘Jeepers Clance, just how much smiling time has he got you down for?’
‘Forty-eight hours at least,’ said Clancy. ‘I don’t think my jaw will stand it.’
‘You’re pretty resilient, Clance,’ she yawned, ‘you’ll think of something to smile about.’
‘I doubt it,’ said Clancy. ‘Anyway, have you spoken to Hitch since the whole, you know, thing?’ he asked.
Ruby glanced around her as if somewhere in this Twinford teenager’s bedroom something lurked and listened. She was right to be concerned – it wasn’t prudent to talk on an unsecured line. She had learned this the hard way a few months back. Spectrum was not some sort of employment agency, it was a spy agency, and as anyone knew, spy agencies should not be blabbed about. In fact, blab and you could pack up your spy kit and head on home. It was Spectrum RULE 1: KEEP IT ZIPPED. Talking to your best pal Clancy Crew about Spectrum would also bring about a termination of your contract, but then Spectrum weren’t going to know about that since when it came to secrets, Clancy Crew was a vault and though Hitch knew that Clancy knew, he was also a vault.
So you could be pretty certain this secret was well and truly secret.
‘No,’ said Ruby, ‘Hitch hasn’t been around here. He told my folks he’s in the Bahamas with his mother.’
‘I didn’t know he had a mother.’
‘I’m not sure he does.’
‘You think he just made her up?’
‘When it comes to Hitch, I think it’s hard to know what’s true. You think you know him but, look at it this way, what do I really have as hard evidence? Do I know anything?’
‘You know he likes coffee,’ suggested Clancy.
‘What I know Clance,’ corrected Ruby, ‘is that Hitch drinks coffee and a lot of it, but does he drink it because he likes the taste of it or because he needs to keep from falling asleep? Well, it’s anybody’s guess.’
‘So you wanna meet?’ asked Clancy.
Ruby paused, for a moment torn between the pleasure of chatting to her friend and the pleasure that was reading Kung Fu Martians. She sighed. ‘Sure, why not, my day is ruined anyway.’
‘Oh, thanks a bunch, buster.’
‘I didn’t mean it like it sounded,’ said Ruby. ‘Just meant I was planning on a little downtime, but I guess your company might restore my mood.’
‘I’m beginning to think yours might have the entirely opposite effect,’ said Clancy.
‘See you in ten,’ said Ruby.
THEY MET WHERE THEY USUALLY MET when they didn’t want to bump into anyone else – the old oak tree on Amster Green. It was a good spot for hiding coded notes when there were secrets to be passed, and it was also a pretty perfect spot to sit and observe the comings and goings on Amster. The leafy branches provided good cover from passers-by, even this late in the year. October was almost here and most of the leaves still clung to the branches, the colours vivid and varied. It was an exceptional fall due to the late summer and sudden cold snap, the old oak’s leaves turning a whole host of colours.
‘Ideal for leaf peepers,’ said Ruby.
‘What?’ said Clancy.
‘Leaf peepers,’ repeated Ruby, ‘folks who like to spend their free time looking at leaves turning.’
‘There’s a name for people who do that?’ said Clancy. ‘Looking at leaves changing colour has an actual name?’
‘Everything has a name,’ said Ruby. ‘And this is an especially good fall for leaf peeping. It’s due to that Indian summer we had; I mean, until a few weeks ago the days were pretty sunny, unusually so. We’ve also had some cool evenings and no rain to speak of – as I said, ideal conditions for leaf peepers. It all has to do with sunlight, sugar and sap.’
‘What?’ said Clancy.
‘The green in a leaf is chlorophyll, right? Well, chlorophyll disappears more quickly when the sunlight is bright and the evenings are cool. And dry weather makes more sugar in the cell sap, which accelerates production of red compounds. So: bright days, cool nights and no rain means the green goes fast and lots of red is made to replace it. A leaf peeper’s idea of heaven.’
‘Jeepers, you really retain all this stuff in your actual brain?’
‘You never know when it might come in handy,’ said Ruby.
‘Apart from a biology test, I don’t see this info coming in super handy,’ said Clancy. ‘It’s not knowledge you need to have at your fingertips.’
‘How do you know?’ said Ruby. ‘You never know when a piece of information might prove vital for your future survival.’
‘I think you can be fairly sure this leaf thing isn’t going to help you in a life-or-death situation.’
Ruby knew a lot of facts like this – she spent an awful lot of time looking them up in books. She sometimes even attended lectures on subjects which interested her, slipping in unseen to the Twinford University seminars. The more you know, the more you know was a motto of Ruby’s, and she knew a lot.
Clancy and Ruby were sitting high in the oak’s branches and looking up at the sky and the dark clouds that were beginning to gather. Was the wind picking up or was there rain coming in?
‘You reckon you could outrun a tornado?’ mused Clancy.
‘No,’ said Ruby.
‘You say that, but I mean could you? I mean, has anyone tried?’
‘I’m sure plenty have tried, but unless they can run at two hundred miles an hour then no, they haven’t succeeded.’
‘Even on a bike?’ asked Clancy.
‘Who can ride a bike at two hundred miles an hour? Who does anything at two hundred miles an hour?’ said Ruby.
Clancy changed the subject. ‘So how are you going to explain climbing into a garbage can?’ he asked.
‘To whom?’
‘Your folks?’
‘How are they gonna find out? Mrs Digby’s sure as darn it not gonna tell ’em.’
‘Yeah, but Mr Chester might.’
‘Oh, so he’s been broadcasting in your neighbourhood as well?’
‘Well, my sister Lulu knew about it. She overheard Mr Chester telling Mr Nori when she walked past the bus stop.’
‘Why doesn’t Mr Chester just get himself a radio station? It would give him wider coverage.’
‘I’m not sure it would,’ said Clancy.
As parents went, Sabina and Brant Redfort were two very easy-going people, but bad manners and lack of social graces turned them very uptight indeed – especially if these failings were their daughter’s. And getting spotted by the town busybody as you climbed out of a dumpster in front of a poker bar was not socially graceful.
‘Let Mr Chester gossip all he likes,’ said Ruby. She wasn’t concerned; she would figure out exactly what to say. ‘So what was the exciting thing you wanted to tell me?’
‘What