The Happiness List. Annie Lyons
but aside from that, I’ve never been happier.’
Heather smiled at her cousin. ‘Well here’s a thought. How about Luke and I help out by having Freddy overnight one Friday so that you and Ed can go out?’
Gemma stared at her wide-eyed. ‘That’s a big ask. He can be a pain to settle. Are you sure you’re up for it?’
Heather nodded with enthusiasm. ‘Absolutely. It’d only be one night and it’s win-win. You get a night out, I get time with my godson and Luke and I get to practise at being parents.’
‘Let’s hope he doesn’t put you off for life,’ laughed Gemma.
Freddy gazed up at Heather as she covered his ears. ‘Mummy doesn’t mean it, Freddy. You’re going to have all the fun with Auntie Heather and Uncle Luke.’
‘Do you think Uncle Luke will be okay with it?’ Gemma frowned, doubtfully.
‘Why do you say that?’
Gemma shrugged. ‘Oh, I dunno. Pardon the pun but I thought he was a bit lukewarm about kids.’
Heather frowned. ‘When did he say that?’
Gemma chewed her lip for a moment before dismissing Heather’s concerns with a wave of her hand. ‘Do you know, it’s probably just my baby brain getting mixed up. I’m sure you’ll have a great time. Well I’m not but I want to go out and drink gin so let’s pretend, shall we?’
Heather laughed. ‘Stop worrying. It’s going to be brilliant, isn’t it, Freddy?’ Freddy squeaked in reply. She smiled and glanced at her watch. ‘Blimey, I need to get going. Wednesday night is happiness night.’
‘Oh yeah, your course. How’s it going?’ asked Gemma, reclaiming her son and following Heather into the hall.
Heather gave a positive nod. ‘I only went along to the first one because I couldn’t face another night in on my own, but actually, it was pretty interesting.’
‘Luscious Luke still working all hours then?’
Heather sighed. ‘Yeah, but at least we’ve had a chance to sit down and discuss the wedding. I have a shortlist of three venues.’
‘That’s great. Sorry, Heth – I meant to ask you about that but we got distracted by babies.’
‘It’s fine, Gem, he’s a gorgeous distraction,’ she said, leaning forwards to kiss them both.
‘I’m glad you’re getting the wedding sorted and remember to shout if I can help with anything.’
‘Just being my chief bridesmaid and helping me choose my dress is all I need.’
‘Done,’ said Gemma with a grin.
Heather made for the door. ‘Right. I’m off to talk mindfulness and eat lemon drizzle cake in a draughty community hall.’
‘There are worse ways to spend an evening.’
‘Very true. Take care and speak soon. Bye!’
Heather glanced back before she drove off, waving at Gemma standing on the doorstep with Freddy in her arms. As she focused on the road, she felt a dip of sadness in her chest, a tug of longing for when she and Gemma were growing up. Heather missed those days – Saturdays shopping in the nearby town, trying out lipstick in Boots and sitting in McDonald’s nursing a strawberry milkshake for hours as boys would come and go like interview candidates. Gemma always seemed so in charge when it came to the opposite sex. Heather would watch in awe as some teenage boy, his face peppered with acne and sprouting stubble, would sidle over and try to get her attention. Gemma would flirt with the ones she liked and introduce the ones she didn’t to Heather. Heather didn’t mind – she received all her cousin’s cast-off clothes so why not the boys as well? As the younger cousin, she was just grateful to be in Gemma’s presence – she was her guiding light and her protector too. When one boy tried to persuade Heather to go for a ‘walk’ in the municipal gardens, Gemma tipped the rest of her milkshake over his head and told him to get lost before she told the whole restaurant that he was a pervert. Heather smiled at the memory. No one messed with Gemma Sharp.
She and Gemma were still close and they would always have that bond from growing up together but there was a distance now. It wasn’t just the geography – Gemma lived less than an hour away. There was an emotional distance too – the inevitable growing apart that came with marriage and motherhood. It was normal and natural but it made Heather feel as if she was drifting and somehow losing her anchor to the past.
It made her realize how much she needed Luke, how much she loved and couldn’t wait to marry him – to get on with their life, to make it something happy and wonderful, something she’d needed ever since her parents died.
‘So,’ said Nik, smiling as he stood before the group hours later. ‘Did any of you experiment with mindfulness this week?’
‘I tried mindful baking,’ admitted Pamela ruefully.
‘And how did it go?’
‘I fell asleep.’ She grimaced. ‘I ended up burning my buns. I never burn my buns.’
Nik gave her a sympathetic smile.
‘Sorry to say it but I don’t think I have time to be mindful,’ declared Fran. ‘I can’t be present whilst chopping up cucumber, admiring the glistening discs of translucent green or whatever. I just need to get it done and move on to the next thing.’
Nik nodded. ‘The world is busy. But let me ask you this, if you go for a run, can you keep on running indefinitely?’
‘Well no, obvs. You need to take a break from time to time.’
‘Exactly, so mindfulness is a way of taking a moment, a break from the constant rushing, a time to reset your brain if you like – to observe what is happening. Some people learn to be mindful all the time and if you practise enough, this is possible. But I would say that perhaps this isn’t realistic so you should think of it as a form of exercise to start with. And tonight we’re going to try something to help us practise.’ Nik took a Tupperware box from his bag and lifted the lid. ‘Sultanas,’ he said, walking around the circle. ‘Help yourself.’
‘Sorry, I’m on a diet,’ joked Fran as she took one.
Nik smiled. ‘I would like you to imagine that you have never seen a sultana before.’ Heather and Fran exchanged amused glances. ‘Take a moment to look at it properly, observe its appearance. What do you see?’
‘Sorry, Nik?’ said Jim.
‘Yes?’
Jim looked sheepish. ‘I’ve already eaten mine. I thought it was a snack.’
‘Me too,’ said Sue. ‘I haven’t had my dinner and I was hungry.’
Nik laughed. ‘Okay, here you go,’ he said, handing out replacements. ‘Now, try for a moment to observe the sultana. Look at it carefully and share your thoughts if you want to.’
‘Brown?’ offered Pamela.
Nik nodded encouragingly.
‘Shrivelled,’ said Heather.
‘Like old person,’ observed Georg. ‘My grandmother had wrinkled face like this.’ Everyone laughed. Georg looked surprised. ‘Is true.’
‘Good,’ said Nik. ‘And now how does it feel in your hand – consider this for a moment with your eyes closed.’
‘Soft,’ said Sue after a pause.
‘Sticky,’ added Pamela.
‘Knobbly,’ said someone else.
‘And the smell?’ asked Nik. ‘Take your time.’
‘Sweet,’ said Heather.
‘Rich,’ said Georg. ‘Like dark sugar smell.’