Loveless. Alice Oseman
didn’t really know how I was supposed to act around him.
Tommy pointed at the bedroom. ‘Is anyone in there? I think my coat’s on the bed.’
‘I think someone’s getting fingered in there,’ I said, hopefully not loud enough for the people in question to hear.
Tommy dropped his hand. ‘Oh. Right. OK, then. Um. I guess I’ll get it later.’
There was a pause. We stood awkwardly outside the door. We couldn’t hear the two people inside the bedroom, but just knowing it was happening, and we were both aware of it, made me want to die.
‘How are you?’ he asked.
‘Oh, you know,’ I said, holding up the bowl of sausages. ‘I have sausages.’
Tommy nodded. ‘Good. Good for you.’
‘Thanks.’
‘You look really nice, by the way.’
My prom dress was sparkly and lilac, and I felt fairly uncomfortable in it compared to my usual patterned knits and high-waisted jeans, but I thought I looked nice, so it was good to have confirmation. ‘Thanks.’
‘Sorry about the truth or dare game.’ He chuckled. ‘People can be such twats. For the record, I didn’t have my first kiss until I was seventeen.’
‘Really?’
‘Yeah. I know it’s kind of late, but … you know, it’s better to wait until it feels right, isn’t it?’
‘Yeah,’ I agreed, but I was just thinking that if seventeen was ‘late’, then I must be basically geriatric.
This all felt weird. Tommy had been my crush for seven years. He was talking to me. Why wasn’t I jumping for joy right now?
Thankfully at that moment my phone buzzed. I retrieved it from my bra.
Felipa Quintana
Sexcuse me buts where are you
Haha sex
I said sex accidentally
And BUTS
Haha butts
Jason Farley-Shaw
Please return before pip has another glass of wine
Felipa Quintana
Stop subtweeting me in our own group chat when I’m standing right next to you
Jason Farley-Shaw
For real though Georgia where are you
I quickly switched my phone screen off before Tommy thought I was ignoring him.
‘Uh …’ I began, not quite knowing what I was going to say before I said it. I held up my oversized denim jacket. ‘If you’re cold, you can borrow my jacket.’
Tommy looked at it. He seemed unfazed that it was technically a ‘girl’s’ jacket, which was good, because if he’d protested, that probably would have been it for my crush.
‘You sure?’ he asked.
‘Yeah!’
He took the jacket and put it on. It made me feel a bit uncomfortable, just knowing that some guy I really didn’t know very well was wearing my favourite jacket. Shouldn’t I have been pleased about this development?
‘I was just gonna go sit by the fire for a bit,’ said Tommy, and he slouched against the wall, leaning ever so slightly towards me with a smile. ‘D’you … wanna come with?’
That was when I realised he was trying to flirt with me.
Like, this was working.
I was actually going to get to kiss Tommy.
‘OK,’ I said. ‘Let me just message my friends.’
Georgia Warr
hanging out with tommy lol
School romance was on my list of favourite fanfiction tropes. I also loved soulmate AU, coffee shop AU, hurt/comfort and temporary amnesia.
I figured school romance was the most likely one that would happen to me, but now that the possibility of it happening was more than zero, I was freaking out.
Like, heart racing, sweating, hands shaking freaking out.
This was what crushes felt like, so this was normal, right?
Everything was totally normal.
When we got to the fire, we were the only people there. No kissing orgy in sight.
I picked a seat near the blanket pile and Tommy sat next to me, balancing a beer bottle on his chair arm. What would happen now? Would we just start making out? God, I hoped not.
Wait, wasn’t that what I wanted?
A kiss had to happen, anyway. That much was clear to me. This was my last chance.
‘So,’ Tommy said.
‘So,’ I said.
I thought about how I was going to initiate the kiss. In fanfics, they just say Can I kiss you, which is very romantic to read but sounded so embarrassing in my head when I imagined saying it out loud. In movies, it just seems to sort of happen without any discussion beforehand, but both parties go into it knowing exactly what’s happening.
He nodded at me, and I glanced at him, waiting for him to speak.
‘You look really nice,’ he said.
‘You said that already,’ I said, smiling awkwardly, ‘but thanks.’
‘S’weird we didn’t really speak much at school,’ he continued. As he spoke, he put his hand on the top of my chair, so his hand was weirdly close to my face. I don’t know why that made me feel so uncomfortable. His skin was just there, I guess.
‘Well, we weren’t really friends with the same people,’ I said.
‘Yeah, and you’re pretty quiet, aren’t you?’
I couldn’t even deny that. ‘Yeah.’
Now that he was so close, I was struggling to even see what exactly I’d been attracted to for seven years. I could tell that he was conventionally attractive, like you can tell pop stars or actors are attractive, but nothing about him really made me feel butterflies. Did I know what butterflies felt like? What exactly was I supposed to be feeling right now?
He nodded as if he already knew everything about me. ‘That’s all right. Quiet girls are nice.’
What was that even supposed to mean?
Was he being creepy? I couldn’t tell. I was probably just nervous. Everyone gets nervous around their crushes.
I glanced towards the house, feeling like I didn’t really want to look at him any more. And I spotted two figures hovering in the conservatory, watching us – Pip and Jason. Pip immediately waved at me, but Jason looked kind of embarrassed and pulled Pip away.
They both wanted to see what would happen with Georgia and her seven-year crush.
Tommy leant a little closer to me. ‘We should talk more, or something.’
I could tell he didn’t mean that. He was just stalling. I knew what was supposed to happen next.
I was supposed to lean in, nervous, but excited, and he’d brush my hair out