Modern Romance July 2018 Books 5-8 Collection. Annie West
edges, but it wasn’t a real smile, not like she’d seen earlier this morning. ‘Which is why I’ve decided it’s time to find you a husband.’
Lina’s mouth dropped open. Her eyes popped. Her entire body froze, except her fingers clawing at her chair for support.
Finally, as hurt filled her chest and her vision misted, she remembered to breathe, her lungs heaving, dragging in oxygen. Even then, she felt like she had on that first ever flight, the day she’d left Halarq. As the ground had dropped and the jet had vibrated and dipped before rising into the sky, there was a moment when she’d seemed completely cut off from every reality she’d ever known.
‘Husband?’ Her voice wasn’t her own and she licked her lips, trying to moisten them.
Sayid’s gaze flicked to her mouth then away. Abruptly he moved to take a seat across from her. ‘Most Halarqi women your age are married.’
Lina slumped back in her chair, hefting another breath. He wanted her married and out of his hair.
Why not? Did you think he wants a starry-eyed ward under his feet?
It’s not as if you’re his type. Last night proved that, no matter how wonderful it felt to you.
Logic told Lina it was ridiculous to be hurt that Sayid wanted to see her, not just out of his palace, but shackled to another man. Yet that didn’t stop the deep-seated ache flooding through her.
How could she think about another man when being in the same room as Sayid made her heart race and her body tense with desire?
The notion of kissing another man as she’d kissed Sayid last night, of doing more, made her nauseous.
A lump of cold dread settled in her belly.
‘Since you left your uncle’s house, I’m responsible for you. I’ll do my best to find you a husband you’ll find agreeable.’
Lina blinked, wondering if perhaps she’d hit her head when she’d fallen while dancing with the children. Was there a chance this was a dream?
But this was real. From the stiff back of the gilded chair behind her to the rich carpet underfoot and the distinctive scent of the room—old books and the merest hint of citrus and cedar wood. Sayid’s room, more so than the lavish reception rooms where he made his public appearances.
‘You’ll choose a husband for me?’ Her voice was croaky but at least it worked.
‘My staff will assist, but as your guardian I’ll approve the final choice.’
Lina shook her head. He made it sound as if there were hordes of men waiting to be yoked to a woman whose own family had disowned her and whose guardian had never wanted her, even when she’d all but begged for his attention. She didn’t belong anywhere and had nothing to recommend her but a nice face, a talent for languages and some skill at dressmaking.
And as if she wanted a husband.
‘I’ll have them draw up a list.’ Sayid’s voice was clipped. He wanted this over. ‘But if there’s anything or anyone in particular they should consider, now is the time to tell—’
‘No.’ Lina hadn’t consciously formed the word, but sucked in a breath of relief when it stopped his speech.
‘Sorry?’ Sayid’s gaze moved from its focus somewhere across the room to zero in on her face. Lina felt the weight of his stare as surely as a touch. ‘You’re saying you don’t have any suggestions? No likes or dislikes?’
She shook her head, wishing she hadn’t left her hair loose when she went to visit the women this morning. Looking into those dark eyes, and not revealing her desperate longings, took courage. Wearing her hair up would have made her feel less of a country bumpkin before this powerful man in his grand palace.
‘I mean I don’t want to get married.’
Lina saw the flare of disbelief in Sayid’s eyes and hurriedly sat straighter, crossing her ankles and composing her hands in her lap as her mother had taught her. ‘Thank you... Sayid.’ She breathed carefully, willing down the riot of see-sawing emotions. ‘I appreciate your good intentions, but I don’t want a husband.’
‘Don’t want a husband?’ His tone was one of disbelief. Halarqi girls were brought up to think of marriage and babies as their twin goals in life. She even thought she heard an echo of her aunt’s outrage just before she’d harangued Lina about one of her many failings. It was a tone that didn’t invite a response.
Yet Lina couldn’t let this slide. In the beginning she’d been awed by the Emir’s authority and more lately by knowledge of the debt she owed him. And by her own response to him as a man. But this was her life! She simply couldn’t stay silent.
‘No, thank you. It’s very kind of you to bother on my behalf but—’
‘It’s my wish to see you settled with a husband.’ His tone, though even, was that of a man used to having his every whim obeyed. Here was a reminder that despite his generosity, and the decadent magic of his kiss, Sayid was absolute ruler to millions.
She ducked her head, her mind racing for a solution that wasn’t outright opposition.
‘That’s very gracious of you, and I do appreciate it, but I have no intention of marrying.’
Not till I’ve got you out of my system.
To marry another man while her heart and body yearned for this one would be impossible.
There was a flurry of robes as the Emir rose. He turned to pace first towards her then away, to the massive desk piled with folders and papers.
‘You don’t intend to marry.’ Anger threaded his words. ‘Why? Because it doesn’t suit you?’ He swung round and glared at her, pinioning her to the chair.
‘I’m sorry. I—’
‘Is this to do with what happened last night? If so let me be clear. You can’t expect—’
‘I expect nothing!’ Lina shot to her feet, her hands clenched fists at her sides.
Wasn’t it enough that he’d pushed her away then told her that magical kiss had been a mistake?
‘I know you don’t want me. I know that kiss was my fault.’ For she’d been the one pleading with her eyes, the one who’d told him she wanted him. She might not have a lot of personal experience but she understood enough to know that men weren’t always discriminating if women threw themselves at them. He hadn’t really wanted her.
Lina pushed her shoulders back, glaring at him, for the first time not caring about his power or authority. Seeing only the man she wanted, rejecting her yet again.
Her lips crumpled in a derisive smile. First her uncle and aunt had packed her off. Then Sayid. Now he was doing it again. Hopefully one day she’d find someone who wanted her to stay, who didn’t see her simply as an unwanted burden.
Furious tears gathered at the back of her eyes and she blinked, hating the possibility he’d think she felt sorry for herself.
On the contrary, she was proud. She’d worked hard to make something of herself and one day she’d be a brilliant interpreter, in great demand. She’d support herself with her work and have a home and friends. One day she might even fall in love with a man who loved her back.
‘The simple fact is I don’t want a husband. And if ever I do I’ll choose him myself. Thank you.’
He looked down at her with a hauteur she’d never seen in him before. Like a warrior of old confronted with a disobedient slave. Lina swallowed and stood her ground, even as he stepped close enough to loom over her.
She wasn’t a slave any more. He’d released her from that.
* *