Modern Romance February Books 5-8. Jane Porter
Teddie leaned over and switched off the light, reaching inside herself for a switch that might just as easily switch off her troubled thoughts.
But her brain stayed stubbornly alert.
Perhaps she should close the shutters.
Normally she only shut the muslin curtains, liking the way the pale pink early-morning light filtered softly through them at daybreak. But tonight the room felt both too large and yet claustrophobic, and she knew closing the shutters would only add to the darkness already inside her head.
Besides the temperature had risen vertiginously during the afternoon, and she wasn’t prepared to shut out the occasional whisper of cool sea air.
It hardly seemed possible that only this morning she had made peace with herself, accepting that the sexual longing she felt for Aristo was not shameful in any way, nor something she would come to regret. That it just was and there was no point in questioning it or fighting it.
But, although she was willing to give in to the temptation of a sexual relationship with Aristo, marriage was something she was going to continue resisting. She’d spent too long dealing with the chaos and devastation caused by the men in her life to let it happen again to her or her son.
Gazing at the moonlight through the curtains, she felt her heart contract. Maybe a fling wasn’t what she would chosen if she could have had exactly what she wanted. But, as she’d already told him, she couldn’t have that, and right now it was enough. All she wanted to do was live each minute as fully as possible until the inevitable moment of their separation when they returned to New York.
And it could have worked—only, typically of Aristo, he’d had to push for more—
Her stomach muscles tensed, frustration slicing through her. Nothing was ever good enough for him. He had a beautiful home in one of the most vibrant, exciting cities in the world, another in Athens, this mythically beautiful island and who knew how many other properties scattered across the globe? He owned a string of hotels and resorts and could probably retire now. But she knew he would never stop, that there would always be something driving him onwards, chasing him to the next goal.
Right now it was getting Teddie to marry him. And if she agreed to that then it would be something else.
Why couldn’t he have left things as they were? Why couldn’t he have just enjoyed the absence of complication in this new version of their old relationship? What was so wrong with allowing things to remain simple for just a few more days?
She didn’t understand why he couldn’t be satisfied, and she was tired of not understanding. Suddenly and intensely she wanted to talk to him.
Swinging out of bed, she snatched up a thin robe, pushing her arms into the sleeves as she walked determinedly across her bedroom. But when she reached the door she stopped, the rush of frustration and fury that had propelled her out of bed fading as quickly as it had arisen.
Did she really want to have this conversation now?
No. Only, how could she not?
Maybe he wasn’t her husband any more, but she was going to have to deal with Aristo on a regular basis—and how would that ever work if she allowed the issue of remarrying to sit unquestioned, unanswered between them?
Knowing Aristo as she did, he wasn’t going to give up without a fight. So why not take the fight to him?
Heart thumping, she opened the door and walked purposefully out into the softly lit hallway. But before she had gone even a couple of paces her feet faltered and she came to an abrupt standstill, her pulse beating violently against her throat as though it was trying to leap to freedom.
Aristo was sitting on the floor, his long legs stretched out in front of him and blocking her way. As she stared down at him in stunned silence his dark gaze lifted to her face, and instantly she felt her shoulders stiffen and her heart begin to beat even faster.
‘What are you doing?’ she said hoarsely.
Holding her breath, she watched as he got to his feet in one smooth movement.
He shrugged. ‘I couldn’t sleep. So I got up to do some work, only I just couldn’t seem to concentrate.’ He looked up at her, his mouth curving crookedly. ‘This may come as a surprise to you, but apparently everything isn’t ultimately about business after all.’
She recognised her own words, but they sounded different when spoken by him. Less like an accusation, more self-deprecating. But even if that was true, she knew he was probably just trying a new tactic.
‘So…what? You thought you’d stretch your legs instead?’ she said, glancing pointedly at his long limbs, her green eyes wide and challenging. ‘What do you want, Aristo?’
His gaze didn’t shift. ‘I want to talk to you. I was going to knock on your door.’
‘But you didn’t.’
‘Your light was off. I thought you must be asleep.’
She hesitated, then shook her head. ‘I couldn’t sleep either. Actually, I wanted to talk too. I was coming to find you.’
Aristo felt his chest tighten.
Watching Teddie practically sprint away from the temple, he’d had to summon up every atom of willpower to stop himself from chasing after her and demanding that she agree to what was clearly the only possible course of action open to them. Despite his frustration at the relentless circular dynamics of their relationship, and her stubborn, illogical opposition, he’d held back.
He’d felt too angry. Not the cold, disbelieving anger he’d felt four years ago, when he’d returned to their apartment to find her gone, or even the gnawing, twisting fury at learning he was father to a three-year-old he’d never met.
No, his anger had been hot and tangled with fear—an explicable fear, not new but still nameless—and that had angered him further because he couldn’t control what he didn’t understand. He’d known that he needed time to cool off, so he’d forced himself to stand and watch her disappear, to wait until his heart beat more steadily. And then back at the villa, he’d made himself turn in before her.
Of course he hadn’t been able to sleep. His room still resonated with her presence from the night before. But even if it hadn’t, he would have been incapable of thinking about anything but her.
And it wasn’t just about the sex.
In a lot of ways that would have been easier, more straightforward. He gritted his teeth. But then nothing about Teddie was straightforward. She was an impossible to solve magic trick—thrilling and compelling and mystifying.
Look at her now. She might say she wanted to talk, but the expression on her face was an almost perfect hybrid of defiance and doubt, and he could sense that she was holding her body ready. Maybe ready to fight but, knowing Teddie, more likely ready to flee.
He felt the muscles of his face contract. He didn’t want to fight with her any more, and he certainly didn’t want to make her run.
Only, they couldn’t just stand here in the darkness for ever.
‘I don’t want to force this…’ He spoke carefully, willing her to hear his words as an invitation, not a trap. ‘So I’m going to go downstairs and sit by the pool. If you want to join me that’s great, and if not then I’ll see you in the morning.’
Outside, the air was slightly cooler and he breathed in deeply, trying to calm the thundering of his heart. Had he said enough to reassure her that they could survive this conversation?
He wasn’t sure, and as the silence stretched out into the night he was on the verge of turning and walking back into the villa. Then he saw her walking stiffly out onto the deck.
She stopped in front of him, close enough that he could see her eyes were the same colour as the wild pines that grew in the centre of the island, but not so close that she couldn’t bolt back into the darkness.
‘I