Passionate Proposals. Andrea Laurence
“You have no idea.” She’d actually been in tears. She held it together as long as she could, but once she hung up the phone, she’d bawled like a baby for twenty minutes. It was so surreal to pick up the phone and hear the voice of someone claiming to be her mother. She didn’t even remember what her mother’s voice sounded like, but it didn’t take long to figure out she really was talking to Misty Lynn Adams.
“What did she say?”
“Well, it wasn’t a long call, but she said she was getting her life back together and wanted to reconnect with me. I get the feeling this is part of a recovery program she’s in to stay clean and sober. She wants to come to Chicago and see me.”
“Wow,” Carson said, reaching across the table to take Georgia’s hand. “That’s really great. How do you feel about all this?”
That was the difference between telling this story to someone who grew up with both parents and telling someone like Carson, who knew what it was like to live without knowing your past. Anyone else would’ve asked if she was excited and happy. Those weren’t quite the words for it. Cautious was more like it. Hopeful, but not too much. Being hurt as many times as she had made her loath to jump in with both feet, but she was going to try.
“It’s a mix of emotions,” she admitted. “I want to see her and ask her some questions, but I don’t think we’re about to be best friends or anything. That’s going to take time, if it’s even possible. My mother is pretty messed up. I don’t know how long she’s had her act together, but if she relapses, I don’t want to get caught in it.”
Carson nodded sympathetically. “I understand. You want to know your family and have that relationship, but there’s a reason why they haven’t been in your life. Sometimes you wonder if it isn’t for the best.”
“Exactly. But I’m going to meet with her. I sent her some money to take the bus here from Detroit and she’s going to stay with me for a few days. We’ll see what happens.”
At her words, Carson frowned. He was silent as he watched her face for a moment. “Georgia,” he said at last, “is giving her money a good idea? And letting her stay with you? She’s a virtual stranger.”
She tugged her hand from his and buried it under the table. “I’ve thought of all that. It was only a hundred dollars for the bus ticket. If she blows it on drugs and never shows up, it was a relatively cheap lesson learned. But I have to have a little bit of faith if this is going to work.”
“But staying with you,” he pressed. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
What little enthusiasm Georgia had about this development with her mother was starting to wane in the face of Carson’s skepticism. What did he want Georgia to do? Hide the good silver? She didn’t have good silver. Most of her money had gone into her loft and that was one thing her mother couldn’t take, no matter how hard she tried.
“What are my choices? If she can’t afford a bus ticket, she can’t afford a hotel. I’d have to pay for it, too. It’s only for a few days, Carson. If I feel remotely uncomfortable having her there, or leaving her there alone, I’ll get her a room somewhere, okay?”
Carson flinched at her sharp, defensive tone. “Listen, I’m sorry to be such a pessimist, Georgia, but I guess it’s just a by-product of how I grew up. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I won’t,” she insisted. “I know I have to tread carefully with Misty, but I could use your support. I’ve encouraged your search for your father, and I’d really appreciate your support as I look into my own past.”
Carson got up from his side of the restaurant booth and sat down beside her. He wrapped her in a hug and kissed her sweetly on the cheek. “I support you one hundred percent. Don’t ever doubt that. I’m just worried about you, is all.”
Georgia eased into his embrace, letting her anxieties fade away in his arms. She supposed he was right to feel cautious about the whole thing. There wasn’t much point in jumping to Misty’s defense when she knew nothing about her. “Well, thank you. I’m not used to anyone worrying about me.”
“You’d better get used to it, although I’ll admit I could be just a little on edge after what Graham found. My mom had warned us that our father was a terrible person, but I never could’ve imagined that it could be Sutton Winchester. Of all the men in Chicago...”
Georgia had been quite stunned to hear the news herself. After he told her the rest of the story, it had made sense. Carson had Sutton’s mischievous green eyes, but she didn’t want to tell him that. At this point, she got the feeling he didn’t want to have anything in common with Sutton, especially common genetics. “What are you guys going to do?”
“Graham is going to try to track down someone who might remember the two of them being together back then. If we’re successful, we’ll push for a paternity test to know once and for all.”
Georgia nodded absently as he described their plans, but she could tell the brothers had little idea what they would do with the truth. “So if he is your father, then what?”
As she predicted, Carson frowned slightly. “I don’t know. I doubt we’ll be invited over for Thanksgiving dinner with his other children. If we play any role in his life, we’re going to have to fight for it. I think Graham and Brooks are more willing to battle than I am. I just keep thinking of my mother’s warnings. She kept him out of our lives for a reason. All things considered, do you really want him in my life?”
Georgia nodded. “I know I’m taking a risk by letting my mother come see me. It might work out, or she might be the same junkie who abandoned me. I’ve done pretty well without her. At the same time, I won’t let myself give up on her. With your parents, you stand there and let yourself get kicked in the teeth again and again in the hope that they will finally stand up and be the people you always dreamed of. That child in you is always craving that love and acceptance you didn’t get. If you give up on that, what’s left?”
“Everything else,” Carson argued. “Your mother was a broke, messed up kid who had no business taking care of a baby, but Sutton is the richest guy in Chicago. What’s his excuse? Sutton knows that we’re his kids. He hasn’t once sought us out in all these years. No birthday cards, no child support, not even a little lenience in business dealings. Why would I want a man like that in my life?”
“You won’t know for sure until you get to know him better.”
“I’ve never had a father, Georgia. I don’t know whether it’s better to have a lousy one and know the truth than to never have one and always wonder.”
“I understand. With the truth come things you may not want to know. I’m giving my mother this chance, but considering my father impregnated a teenage runaway with a drug problem, I think I’ll go with never knowing him. That way I can keep the fantasy father in my mind. I’d rather not know than find out he was her customer, or her drug dealer, or that he raped a young girl with no one to turn to.”
Carson carefully considered her words and then took the final sip of his wine. “Well, in the end I don’t get to make the decision, because there’s more than just me in the equation. My brothers want to see this through no matter what. Like it or not, I will know if Sutton is my father. As for what comes after that... I guess that all depends on dear old Dad.”
Georgia nodded and finished her drink. They were both in limbo when it came to their parents. She hated that feeling. For years, as she bounced from one foster home to the next, she had both hoped and worried that her mother would get her act together and take her home for good.
She had been excited about her mother seeking her out. She had made the first step, which is something Georgia had been adamant about. It wouldn’t have taken much to track down her mother, but she didn’t want to. Knowing that her mother had gone to the trouble of finding her felt good. Still, she was scared. And after talking to Carson about Misty’s visit, she wasn’t feeling as optimistic.