Scandalous Sins. Tara Pammi
glanced at him. ‘Your mother took it hard?’
The line around his mouth tightened. ‘I was six years old when they finally split up. A week or two after my father moved out to live with his new partner, I came downstairs one morning to find her unconscious on the sofa with an empty bottle of pills and an empty wine bottle beside her. I rang Emergency and thankfully they arrived in time to save her.’
No wonder he was so nervous about commitment. Seeing the devastation of a breakup at close quarters and at such a tender age would have been nothing short of terrifying. ‘That must have been so scary for you as a little kid.’
‘Yeah, it was.’ He waited a beat before continuing. ‘Every time I went back to boarding school after the holidays I was worried sick about her. But she started seeing another guy, more to send a message to my father than out of genuine love. It was a payback relationship—one of many.’
‘No wonder you break out in a rash every time someone mentions the word marriage,’ Violet said.
‘Divorce is the word I hate more. But you can never know if it’s going to happen or not. No one can guarantee their relationship will last.’
Violet wanted to disagree but deep down she knew what he said was true. There were no guarantees. Life could change in a heartbeat and love could be taken away by disease or death or divorce. Just because you were in love didn’t mean the other person would remain committed. She knew many women and men who’d been devastated by their partners straying. But she believed in love and commitment and knew she would do her best when she fell in love to nurture that love and keep it healthy and sustained.
What do you mean—when you fall in love? Haven’t you already?
Violet waited until they’d gone a few blocks before speaking again. ‘Cam? I have to do something about my flat tomorrow. I really should have done something about it today but I couldn’t bring myself to face it. But I can’t leave that mess for the girls to clean up on their own.’
‘Do you have to go back there?’
Violet glanced at him again. ‘What do you mean? It’s where I live.’
‘You could live somewhere else. Somewhere safer, more secure.’
‘Yeah.’ Violet sighed. ‘Somewhere heaps more expensive too.’
There was a silence broken only by the swishing of the windscreen wipers going back and forth.
‘You could stay with me for as long as you like,’ Cam said. ‘Until you find somewhere more suitable, I mean. There’s no rush.’
Violet wondered what was behind the invitation. Was it solely out of consideration for her safety or was he thinking about extending their relationship until who knew when? ‘That’s a very generous offer but what if you want to start seeing someone else after we break up after Christmas? Could be awkward.’
‘Everything about this situation is awkward.’
Violet looked at the tight set of his features. ‘Are you regretting...what happened this morning?’
He relaxed his expression and reached across the gear console and captured her hand, bringing it over to rest on top of his thigh. ‘No. Maybe I should, but I don’t.’
‘I don’t regret it either.’
His eyes met hers when he parked the car. ‘Your family is going to be hurt when we...end this.’
Why had he hesitated over the word ‘end’? Who would end it? Would it be a mutual decision or would he suddenly announce it was over?
‘Yes, I feel bad about that. But at least it’s not for long,’ Violet said. ‘Once Christmas is over we’ll say we made a mistake...or something and go back to normal.’
He studied her for a long moment. ‘Will you be okay with that?’
Violet gave him a super-confident smile. ‘Of course. Why wouldn’t I be? It’s what we agreed on. A short-term fling to get me back on my dating feet.’
His expression clouded. ‘You have to be careful when you’re dating guys these days. You can’t go out with just anyone. It’s not safe when there are so many creeps on the prowl. And don’t do online dating. Some of those guys lie about their backgrounds. Anyone can use a false identity. You could end up with someone with a criminal past.’
Violet wondered if he was cautioning her out of concern or jealousy or both. ‘You sound like you don’t want me to date anyone else.’
He paused before responding. ‘I care about you, Violet, that’s all. I don’t want you to become a crime statistic.’
‘I’m sure I’ll manage to meet and fall in love with some perfectly lovely guy, just like my sisters have done,’ Violet said. ‘I’m just taking a little longer than they did to get around to it.’
He opened his car door and came around to hers but, instead of tension, this time there was a self-deprecating tilt to his mouth. ‘Sorry about the lecture.’
Violet smiled and patted his hand where it was resting on the top of the doorframe. ‘You can lecture me but only if I can lecture you right on back. Deal?’
He bent down to press a kiss to the end of her nose. ‘Deal.’
CAM WOKE FROM a fitful sleep to find the space next to him in the bed was empty. He sat bolt upright, his chest seizing with panic. Where was Violet? When he’d drifted asleep she had been lying in his arms.
Calm down, man. She’s probably gone to the bathroom.
He threw off the bedcovers and, snatching up a towel, wrapped it around his hips and padded through his house, checking each room and bathroom upstairs but there was no sign of her.
‘Violet?’ His voice rang out hollowly. His blood chugged through his veins like chunks of ice. His skin shrank away from his skeleton. He was annoyed at his reaction. What did it say about him? That he was so hooked on her he couldn’t let her out of his sight? Ridiculous. She had a right to move about the house without asking permission first. Maybe she’d had trouble sleeping with him in the bed beside her. After all, she’d never been in a proper relationship before. Sharing a bed with someone took some getting used to, which was why he generally avoided it.
‘Violet?’
Where could she be? Had she gone outside? He tugged the curtains aside but the back garden was as quiet and deserted as a graveyard. It was three in the morning and it was bitterly cold. Had she gone back to her flat? No. She wouldn’t go there without backup. He flung open the sitting room door, then the study.
All empty.
‘Are you looking for me?’ Violet appeared like a ghost in the doorway of the study.
Relief flooded through Cam like the shot of a potent drug. ‘Where were you?’
Her eyes did a double blink at the edginess of his tone. ‘I was reading in the breakfast room.’
Cam frowned so hard his forehead pinched. ‘Reading?’
Her tongue snaked out and left a layer of moisture over her lips. ‘I was...having trouble sleeping. I didn’t want to disturb you. You seemed restless enough without me putting on the light and rustling pages.’
Cam forked a hand through his already tousled hair. ‘You should’ve woken me if I was disturbing you. Was I snoring?’
‘No, you were just...restless like you were having a bad dream or something.’
He had been having a bad dream. It was coming back to him now in vivid detail. He had been alone in a run-down castle. The drawbridge was up and there was no way in or out. Loneliness crept out from every dark corner,