Falling For The Nanny. Barbara McMahon
blue-eyed Joni looked up. “Hey! I’m glad you could come in.”
She winced. “I’m sorry I dumped everything on you without any notice.”
Joni motioned for her to sit. “It’s not like we’re really busy. I just hate to see you wasting your vacation on something that’s essentially work.”
“I know. But Bella’s special and in a way so is Matt. He wants to be a good dad so much that he can’t hide it. But he’s more than a bit rough around the edges.” She slid to the seat in front of Joni’s desk. “Did you know his nickname on Wall Street is Iceman?”
Joni’s face fell. “How awful for Bella.”
“Well, that’s just it. I’d think how awful for Bella, if I didn’t keep getting glimpses of a nice guy underneath his Iceman exterior.”
Joni laughed, but her laughter quickly died. “Oh. Wait.” She studied Claire for a second, then said, “You’re not falling for him, are you?”
Claire sat up in her chair. “Absolutely not.” She’d had this conversation with herself in the car driving to the adoption agency. And convinced herself she hadn’t gotten angry that he’d yelled at her; she’d gotten angry that he hadn’t learned to control his temper around the baby. “Number one, he’s so far out of my league I’d be crazy to even consider it. Number two, I’m literally teaching this guy how to love. He says he hurt his ex-wife so badly he had to make it up to her by helping her new husband with a business deal. And he can’t understand why Ginny would leave her daughter in his care when she above everybody else knows he can’t love. I’d be crazy to get involved with him.”
Joni said, “Okay. Good.”
“I mean, it’s not like the guy doesn’t have potential. If I’m reading the situation right, I think he had a very soft heart at one time and something happened in his family that broke it. I’m guessing his Iceman image is a defensive wall to keep him from getting hurt again. Which is why I think there’s lots of hope for him with Bella.”
Joni inclined her head. “That makes sense.” She caught Claire’s gaze. “As long as you’re only working to repair his heart enough to raise a baby, not because you want something to happen between you two.”
“I already said I don’t want anything to happen between us.”
“Because bringing him far enough along that he’d be able to love you—as well as a baby—would be a big job.”
“I know.”
“And it would probably end up with you getting hurt.”
“I know that, too.”
“Just checking.”
Joni dropped the subject after that and they went to work on quickly reviewing the few cases Claire had on her desk. But when she left Dysart Adoptions, Joni’s words rolled around in her head.
She could probably teach Matt enough to care for Bella in a day or two. She hadn’t needed to take the whole week off.
Was she subconsciously trying to heal him for herself?
Did she think she could be the woman of his dreams?
WHEN Claire returned, she found Matt in the kitchen, making lunch. Bella sat in the high chair, banging a rattle on the tray. Matt stood at the grill beside the stainless-steel stove.
“Are those grilled cheese sandwiches I smell?”
“Yes.”
She shrugged out of her coat. “Really?”
He glanced over, then turned his attention back to his sandwiches. His voice was chilly as the ocean in January when he said, “I can cook. I wasn’t always rich.”
“Ah.”
“My stepfather was rich. And yes, I grew up in the lap of luxury, but I had to put myself through school. I got a job, lived in a rat hole of an apartment and paid enough tuition to put a new wing on the library just to get a basic bachelor’s degree.”
Unable to stop herself, she laughed. “Why would you want to live in a rat hole of an apartment if your family was rich?”
“I had a falling-out with my stepfather.” His voice wavered a bit, as if he didn’t want to answer, but he had.
She hung her coat across the back of a chair. Combining the conversation she’d had with Joni to this revelation, she knew it was time to tread lightly. She’d been pushing him to be sweet, to be nice, to be honest, for Bella’s sake, and it finally dawned on her how hard that might be for him. He was a guy so accustomed to getting his own way that he’d rather pay his tuition himself and live in a rat hole than make up with his stepfather. And here she was forcing him to buckle under for everything she wanted.
Of course, she was doing it for Bella.
She ambled toward the grill. She continually pushed him because Bella needed good care, but she didn’t have to be a shrew. She pointed at the sandwiches. “You wouldn’t want to share those, would you?”
“If my mother taught me anything, it was to share. I’m a great host.”
“I’d set the table as repayment.”
“I suppose that could be a deal.”
“Great.”
She rummaged until she found plates and cups, set the table and made a pot of coffee. He heated soup to go with the sandwiches and they sat at the table to eat, with Bella happily chattering in the high chair beside them.
“So how does a preppy boy survive living in a rat hole?”
He stopped his spoon halfway to his mouth. His lips quirked a bit. “Not easily.”
“I can imagine.”
“I don’t think you can. I’d never actually seen a bug indoors before, so cockroaches scared the hell out of me.”
She burst out laughing. “Good grief!”
“The walls of my apartment were paper thin. I froze in the winter and sweltered in the summer.” He smiled, almost wistfully. “It certainly taught me a lot about life.” He caught her gaze. “Real life. Not the sheltered existence I had as Cedric Patterson’s son.”
“I’ll bet.” She cocked her head. If he’d survived that, learning to care for Bella should be a piece of cake. But now wasn’t the time to remind him of that. They were making up after their argument and she would do her part. She would share a little about herself, too, so he wouldn’t feel he was always the one giving. “I actually did about the same thing.”
He frowned. “Really? You left the lap of luxury for a rat hole?”
“Maybe not the lap of luxury, but a very comfortable home. I was angry with my dad because he just never seemed to want me around, so I refused to take his money for tuition.” She shook her head. “Actually, that’s not totally true. I never asked him for money for tuition to see if he’d remember that I needed it. He didn’t. All the deadlines passed and suddenly I had a twenty-thousand-dollar tuition bill that needed to be paid immediately and no money. And I was too angry to ask my dad to please remember he had a daughter.”
Matt’s face softened as he said, “What did you do?”
“I went to the bank and withdrew my savings and paid it.”
“Ouch.”
“At least I had savings. I had the first semester’s tuition and enough for a good bit of the second semester, but I was furious. He never even considered that I’d need money. I was getting an allowance, but it wasn’t enough for tuition and