I Do…. Dani Wade
you letting them,” Lainey finished.
“Point taken.” Even as much as Julia had wanted her relationship with Jeff to work out, she should have known it was doomed. He’d been the opposite of most guys she’d dated, and she should have known someone so academic and cultured wouldn’t truly want her. They’d gone to museums and gallery openings, his interest in her giving her hope that someone would finally see her for more than a pretty face.
She’d craved his approval and made the mistake of sharing her secret with him. None of the men before him had known about the severe learning disabilities that had plagued her since grade school. She’d managed for years to keep her LD hidden from almost everyone.
Only her family and certain trusted teachers had known the struggles she’d faced in learning to read and process both words and numbers. She wasn’t sure any of them understood how deep her problems were. The embarrassment and frustrations she’d felt as a kid had prevented her from letting teachers, interventionists or even her parents truly help her.
It had been easier to play the part of being too cool for school or, as she got older, not wanting to be tied down to a real job or responsibilities. Only for Charlie was she finally willing to put her best effort forward, constantly worried it wouldn’t be enough.
“Are you still working with the literacy specialist?”
“Every week. It’s a slow process, though. Between my visual and auditory learning deficiencies, I feel like a lost cause. Sometimes I wonder if it’s even worth it.”
“It’s worth it,” Lainey said as she lifted Charlie from the floor and gave him a hug before depositing him into Julia’s arms. “LD is complex and I’m proud of you for everything you’ve accomplished despite it. I’m here if you need me. Ethan and Mom can take Charlie, so—”
“Mom’s back?” Julia swallowed. She’d assumed her sister hadn’t heard about the engagement. But their mother had her finger on the pulse of every snippet of gossip from Brevia to the state line. “She wasn’t scheduled back until next week.” Long enough for Julia to get a handle on her mess of a life.
“She flew in this morning. I can help contain her, you know. You’ll need reinforcements for damage control on that front.”
Julia stopped in her tracks. Even though she’d worried about her mother finding out, hearing Lainey say it made her knees quiver the tiniest bit. “Mom knows? I thought she just got back.”
“She knows,” Lainey answered with an eye roll. “I think she’s waiting for you to call and explain yourself.”
Another layer of dread curled in the pit of Julia’s stomach. Her mother would support her. Vera was a big part of Charlie’s life and would fight tooth and nail to protect him. But she understood Julia’s limitations better than anyone. Julia didn’t want to know if her mom had any doubts about her ability to give Charlie a good life on her own.
Now was the time to come clean, but with Charlie in her arms, she couldn’t bring herself to voice her fears. It might make them too real.
“I’ll call her. She’ll understand. I’ll make her understand.”
Lainey only smiled. “Good luck.”
Julia needed a lot more than luck.
* * *
She tried to ignore the persistent knocking at her apartment door later that night. She hadn’t called her mother and silently debated whether Vera would make the twenty-minute drive to Julia’s apartment to rake her over the coals in person.
But Charlie had just fallen asleep after six verses of “The Wheels on the Bus,” and Julia wasn’t going to risk the noise waking him, so she opened the door, prepared for the mother–daughter smackdown of the century.
Sam stood in the hallway watching her.
Even better.
“Long day, Chief. I’ll call you tomorrow.” She tried to close the door but he shoved his foot into the opening. Blast those steel-toed boots.
He held up a white cardboard box and a six-pack of beer. “It’s been a long day for both of us. We eat first and then dig ourselves out of this mess.”
She sniffed the air. “Pepperoni?”
“With extra cheese.”
She took a step back and he eased around her into the tiny apartment. It actually didn’t feel so small with just her and Charlie in it. Somehow, Sam not only filled the room but used more than his fair share of the oxygen in it. Julia drew a shaky breath and led the way to the small dining area.
“Sorry,” she apologized automatically as she picked macaroni noodles from the maple tabletop. “Charlie’s been practicing his QB skills at mealtime.”
“Nothing wrong with starting early. Where’s the little guy?”
“Asleep. Finally.”
Sam put the box on the table and handed her a beer as he cocked his head. “Is that classical music?”
“Beethoven.”
“Sounds different than I remember. More animated.”
She picked up a remote and pointed it at the television on the other side of the room. “It’s a Junior Genius DVD.”
“Come again?”
“A program designed to increase a young child’s brain activity.” She clicked off the television. “They have research to show that it works.”
His brows rose. “I still hear music.”
She felt color creep into her cheeks. “I play a Mozart disc as he falls asleep.” She walked past him to the kitchen and pulled two plates from a cabinet.
“Are you a classical-music fan?”
She spun around and stalked back to the table. “Why? Do you think classical is too highbrow for someone like me? Would it make more sense if I was a Toby Keith groupie?”
He took a step back and studied her. “First off, don’t hate on Toby Keith. Secondly, it was a question.” He waved one hand in the direction of the bookcases that flanked the television. “You have more classical CDs on your shelves than I’ve seen in my entire life. It’s a logical assumption.”
“Sorry.” She sighed. “I like some composers but it’s mainly for Charlie. I figure he needs all the help he can get, living with me. You may have heard I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer.”
“Is that so?”
“It’s a well-known fact in town. My mom will tell you I have ‘street smarts.’” She met his gaze with a wry smile. “I’m sure any number of my former friends would be happy to tell you how I skated through school by charming teachers or bullying other students into helping me.” She broke off as Sam watched her, worrying that she’d somehow given him a clue into her defective inner self. She plastered on a saucy smile and stretched up her arms in an exaggerated pose. “At that point my life’s ambition was to be a supermodel.”
“Personally, I wanted to be Eddie Van Halen.” He shrugged. “Were you really a bully?”
“I like to remember it as a benevolent dictatorship. I had my reasons, but have discovered that the kids I ordered around back in the day have become adults who are more than happy to see the golden girl taken down a few pegs.” She opened the pizza box and pulled out a slice, embarrassed at her silly adolescent dream. “I was the ring leader and the ‘pretty one’ in Brevia, but couldn’t cut it in the big leagues.”
“You started over. There’s nothing wrong with that. People do it all the time.”
“Right. I went to beauty school, dated a string of losers, partied too much and tried to live below my potential.” She tipped her beer in a