Songbird. Josephine Cox
up, even after you told him you were carrying his child. And even though you might by some miracle talk him into family life, just think what the future would be like – never knowing when he might turn on you or the child. God knows, he’s capable of it.’
‘I know he’ll probably turn his back on me,’ Maddy answered quietly, ‘but I still have to try and win him round, for the baby’s sake, if not for mine.’
‘Then I’m not going to work.’
‘Why not?’
‘Sure, if I can’t make you see sense, and you insist on going in tonight, so soon after he’s done this to you, then you give me no choice. I’ll write my letter of notice and send it in. I can’t stand back and see him play you for a fool any longer.’
Maddy was horrified. ‘You can’t send in your notice! You love your work. Besides, it’s not so easy to find a job in the clubs. You know how they are a closed shop.’
‘Don’t you worry, me darlin’.’ Alice could see her little ploy beginning to work. ‘I’ll find a job, even if I have to move away.’
‘I can’t let you do it,’ Maddy said. ‘Promise me you won’t send in your notice?’
‘I’ve made my decision,’ Alice answered.
‘No!’ Maddy knew from experience that when Alice said something, she meant it. ‘I can’t let you lose your work and possibly your home, on account of me.’ She bit her lip. ‘I’ll do what you ask, then. I’ll stay here tonight and make him sweat.’
‘Well, all right then,’ Alice said, after a pause. ‘And I’m not saying you shouldn’t go back at all, because clearly you still have things to decide between the pair of youse. But not tonight. Let the bugger calm down and think it through.’
Maddy threw her arms round the little woman’s shoulders. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘But I may go in tomorrow. You do know I can’t stay away too long?’
‘I understand that, so I do. But if you were to go in tonight, he’ll think he can do whatever he likes and you’ll always be there at his beck and call. And when you do get to talk it out with him, be prepared for him to give you an ultimatum.’
‘What kind of ultimatum?’
Alice did not mince her words. ‘He could ask you to get rid of the baby.’
‘NO! I would never do that! I tried – and I just couldn’t do it.’ The idea went against every instinct in her body.
It was the answer Alice had expected. ‘Good girl.’ Reaching across, she took hold of Maddy’s hand. ‘Listen to me,’ she urged. ‘London is full of unsavoury characters and Steve Drayton knows each and every one of them; no doubt they’re all on his payroll. What I’m saying is … be on your guard. You’ve already seen a glimpse of what he’s capable of.’
‘I know.’
Sensing her hesitation, Alice assured her, ‘If you’re worried he might bring somebody else to take your place on stage tonight, I can tell you now, that won’t happen. While you were away, he trawled the clubs and agents, looking for a replacement. He managed to find two girls, but neither of them could hold a candle to you. In fact, they were so bad, Dave and Dino threatened to leave. Sure, there are talented girls about, but they’re all tied up in secure contracts.’
Up until then, it had not crossed Maddy’s mind that she might be so quickly replaced. Instead, she still harboured the illusion that Steve might yet feel proud at having fathered a child, and that in time he might even put a ring on her finger.
She relayed all this to Alice, but as ever Alice was noncommittal. ‘Let’s wait and see, me darlin’,’ she said encouragingly, ‘Who knows? Possibly you and the wee one can make him change his ways, after all.’
Deep down though, she knew it would never happen.
When Alice left for her duties at the club after lunch, Maddy reflected on their conversation. This time, she was less optimistic. ‘What if she’s right and I can’t talk him round?’ she asked herself. ‘What if he throws me out? What if he changes the locks on the flat and turns his back on me altogether?’
It was a frightening thought. She couldn’t put all her troubles on Alice, and she couldn’t afford a place of her own, as Steve only paid her a pittance, so where would they go, and the baby? How would they live?
A shocking thought rippled across her mind, and it brought her up sharp. Whatever happened, she would not have a termination. If Steve didn’t want her, she’d find a way to manage without him.
Yet the thought of making it on her own, with a baby in tow, was a terrifying thing. She was a singer; since the age of sixteen, when she was orphaned, she had always been a singer, scratching a living in shabby pubs and clubs until Steve had discovered and promoted her. It would be hard to sing in the clubs, as a single parent, impossible almost.
A sense of outrage coursed through her. ‘This is his baby, and he can damned well face his responsibilities!’
Determined either to win him over, or fight him tooth and nail, Maddy found herself regretting her promise not to go in tonight. What if ‘making Steve sweat’ just got him in such an awful rage that he went and did get himself another singer – and then she would never be able to talk him round!
Pacing the floor, she could not rid herself of all these doubts and fears, until eventually, her instincts decided for her. Making herself believe that Alice would understand, she came to a decision. ‘I’ll play him at his own game,’ she decided. ‘I’ll turn up tonight as usual, wear a gown to knock him out, and go onstage as though nothing has happened. Steve will come round to my way of thinking. I know he will.’
Her spirits uplifted, Maddy ran a hot bath and soaked in it for a time, until her thoughts were formulated and her wounds soothed.
After towel-drying her long hair, she then let it fall into its natural wave. She applied more antiseptic cream to her cuts, wincing as she rubbed it in, then quickly dressed in the clothes she had worn the previous day.
After making sure everything was secure, she put on her coat and left, deciding to catch a tube down to Clapham Common station and walk the rest of the way to the Battersea flat to get some fresh air.
If all goes well, I should be travelling back to the flat with Steve tonight, she thought, but she remained apprehensive. After all, she had learned the hard way how easily he could lose control.
The journey across town seemed to take forever. She felt oddly isolated and unsure of herself, and wondered if the confrontation with Steve had affected her more than she realised. Thankfully, by the time she had walked to the flat from the tube station, her confidence had grown.
Her key went into the lock easily, much to her relief. At least he hadn’t had the locks changed. That must mean something. Perhaps he had had time to think, and was regretting what he had done. The thought of making up brought a smile to her face.
The flat was a credit to her – though, as he enjoyed reminding her, the money she’d spent on making it both smart and cosy had been Steve Drayton’s, not hers.
The cream-coloured carpet was of finest wool, as were the many different-coloured rugs laid throughout. The elegant navy and cream colour scheme varied from room to room; creating an effect that was unifying yet individual.
The leather settee and chairs set around a large fireplace in the lounge were warm and squashy, with a scattering of oversize cushions. The whole place was stamped with Maddy’s friendly and open personality, though with a discreet dash of elegance.
Encouraged by the fact