Out Of Time. Cliff Ryder
day, Daddy.” Savannah smiled, eyes sparkling, giggling as she patted him down for presents.
“Sorry, kiddo. Daddy hasn’t even left the house.”
She sighed and squirmed, wanting to be put down.
“How about you, Mommy?” Alex asked. “How was your day?”
He set Savannah on the floor and turned to sweep Brin into his arms. She was ready with a kiss and a smile, and most anything else he needed. He hoped she was ready with understanding, too.
“You know, gene splicing, curing diseases, saving the world. Blah, blah, blah!” She tossed the mail and her keys onto the hall table and tucked her hair behind her ears. “Give me a minute to change and I’ll start dinner.”
Alex wondered if her company was also working on a cure for MS, and if they were, would they find anything in time to save him. None of the pamphlets he’d read sounded promising, but a lot of medical advances were kept quiet until they were ready for a public unveiling. Maybe when he got back from this mission, when he could tell her the truth about his condition, he’d ask her about it.
She was halfway to the bedroom before Alex thought to call after her. “No need. I ordered pizza and it should be here any minute.”
She spun on him, a silly, crooked grin stuck to her face. “I’m that predictable that you can order food to be delivered the moment I walk in the door?”
“Yep! You’re the predictable one. I’m the irrational, flighty one. Good system.” The doorbell rang and he reached for his wallet. “Hurry up and change. I’ll get the pizza and get Miss Savannah seated.”
He swung open the door and thrust out the twenty in one easy movement. The pizza guy was young and his face looked a lot like the pizza he delivered. Outside, there was a small blue Toyota, built sometime back when Carter was still in office.
Alex smiled. “Keep the change.” He shut the door and turned the lock.
When he reached the kitchen, Savannah turned and smiled at him from where she sat, legs swinging, in the high chair. “Pizza! Yay!”
Alex stopped abruptly and frowned, then grinned to himself. “Did you get up there all by yourself?” Of course she did. Who else would have helped her?
Savannah mumbled something incoherent but nodded her agreement.
“You’re a very smart girl. But please—” He stooped to fasten the strap and put on the tray. Then he leaned in close and whispered, “Please don’t grow up so fast. Daddy will miss his little girl.”
He pecked her cheek and slid her close to the table, stopping then to study her face. It changed daily, growing, maturing. A week away brought him home to find all her expressions morphed somehow. A month, and he could hardly recognize her.
“Did you remember the pineapple? I love pineapple.” Brin swept into the room, still buttoning the buttons on her blouse.
Alex caught sight of her and smiled, thinking how nice it would be to pop each and every button right off. “Pineapple present and accounted for, ma’am!”
She smacked him as he saluted.
There was lots of pizza, chitchat, a sundae for Savannah. The normality of it almost made Alex think that things might end up fine. It was all part of the dance. They both knew what they were working toward…later…after Savannah had gone to bed.
The nightly ritual was followed to the letter. The table was cleared, Savannah bathed, her story read and her little covers pulled tightly under her chin. Just the way she liked it. Her poodle night-light softly glowed from across the room, and Alex blew kisses as he shut the door.
His body had behaved quite nicely all evening. He was thankful for that much. Brin waited for him in the kitchen, a glass of wine in each hand. She pressed one into his right hand and turned him toward the door with a kiss, then pushed him in the direction of the sofa.
Alex took up his place, all territories having been decided on long ago. Brin slid into his arms and sipped her wine, pulling his arm around her and kissing the back of his hand.
“I missed you so much.” She sighed. “I always do.”
For a moment, he thought he would cry. He took a sip of his wine, against doctor’s orders, and swallowed hard. “I missed you, too. I just don’t feel right when I’m away from my girls. Which is why I don’t want to leave you again. But I have—”
He got no further. Brin spun in his arms, crushing her lips to his, shaking a bit as she kissed him. When she pulled back, there were tears in her eyes and her lip quivered.
“Wow! What was that all about?”
“I didn’t want you to tell me that you’re leaving again. Not so soon. Please, not so soon. You just got home.”
He drew the back of one hand over her soft cheek, found a tear there and wiped it away. “I wouldn’t go if it weren’t important, Brin. It’s my job. I have to go.”
“I know.” Her voice quavered. It broke his heart. “When do you leave?”
“Tomorrow.”
“No. Please.”
She hesitated, then dropped her eyes in resignation. “Where to?”
“The Middle East,” he said, hating to tell her yet another lie, but knowing that he could never tell her the truth. “I can’t be any more specific. This is huge. Really huge. I couldn’t say no.” She nodded and he continued. “After this one, no more for a long time. I swear. I’ll take an extended downtime. Maybe we’ll even take a vacation.”
“Promise?”
He nodded. “I promise.”
She slid along his body, pushing with her toes and letting her lips reach for his. One hand found his glass, pulled it free and set it on the table. She kissed him again, then whispered, her breath washing hot over his cheek, “Make love to me. Please.”
He slid his fingers into her hair, pulled her down on top of him, and the world faded to soft flesh and whispered kisses.
For a while, it was almost enough to make him forget.
6
It was still dark when Alex woke. He lay very still, not wanting to disturb Brin, who was curled tightly against his side. Sunrise was still more than an hour away, and he dreaded its arrival. The new day would mean the beginning of the end, the start of his last mission before the disease took its inevitable toll.
Even after reading through the pamphlets and scouring the Web, all Alex really knew was that his prognosis was grim. Primary progressive MS, when it moved quickly, often robbed a person of mobility, eyesight…even sex could become too painful or impossible due to mobility impairments. He didn’t want to go out that way—useless, hopeless, miserable.
Too many things he cared for would begin to unravel when the night ran down, and he could hear it ticking away like a giant clock—or a bomb. He would do this last mission and go out a hero.
Brin stirred, rolling toward him, and he slid his arm around her, pulling her close. She turned a sleepy-eyed smile up to him, and he brushed her eyelids with his lips. He was shocked at the sudden heat the contact brought. She sensed it and pressed closer, running her lips up his chest. He shivered as her hair tickled his throat.
Alex rolled onto his side, slid his arm across Brin’s body and rose to stare down at her. His arm trembled and his heart raced.
“No,” he whispered.
“What?” Brin raised her head, but he dropped over her fiercely, covering her lips and sliding his hips up to mesh with hers. She gasped, but as his palm pressed her thigh, she parted her legs and he drove forward, pinning her to the mattress, pressing so tightly the friction burned. She cried out, but