Modern Romance Collection: May 2018 Books 5 - 8. Кейт Хьюит
in the same way, perhaps,’ Zayed said after a moment. Jahmal had raised the same issue when Zayed had broached his proposition a few days ago. Surely, his aide had argued, there were other, more suitable women to be the Sultan’s bride? In Jahmal’s eyes Olivia was still nothing but a servant, even though Zayed knew he’d come both to like and admire her over the last few weeks.
Olivia turned back to face him, resolute now. ‘In what way, Zayed?’ she asked quietly. ‘In what way do you need me?’
It felt like a loaded question. Was she acting from the practical, pragmatic viewpoint he was determined to keep with regard to marriage, or was she asking about something more? About need...the way he’d needed her last night? Love, even? Zayed couldn’t tell anything from her face; her eyes were a stormy blue, her mouth compressed.
‘We are already married,’ he said, knowing he was prevaricating but unsure how to deal with her in this mood. She seemed very quiet and self-contained, her head slightly bowed.
‘Yes, but you were willing to set me aside before. Why not now?’
Zayed felt an uncomfortable twinge of guilt at those simply stated words. Yes, he’d been willing to put her aside. He’d had to be. But he felt differently now...and he realised he didn’t particularly like Olivia asking him why.
‘I’ve seen the advantages of our alliance,’ he finally said. ‘And since we are already married, and divorce or annulment is no small matter, it makes sense to stay married. Besides,’ he added, watching her, ‘we have a certain chemistry, do we not? That is no small thing.’
‘I wouldn’t know,’ Olivia answered shortly.
‘Nor perhaps would I,’ Zayed agreed with a small smile. He longed to lighten her mood; he wanted her to be happy about this, damn it. ‘Before you, Olivia, I had not been with a woman since my days at Cambridge.’
He’d surprised her with that. ‘Ten years? I know you said it had been a long time...’
‘As long as that.’ He shrugged. ‘My point is, we are good together. You are an asset to me.’
‘As asset,’ she repeated, and he had a feeling he’d chosen the wrong word.
‘I would be honoured,’ he said a bit tightly, ‘to have you as my wife.’
A tiny smile curved her mouth, lightened her eyes. ‘Is that a proposal?’
‘After the fact, but yes.’ He waited, feeling tenser than he wanted to be. Her answer mattered to him very much. He’d been hoping she was pregnant, and then there would have needed to be no discussion. The matter would have been resolved. As it was, he needed to convince her of the merits of their marriage. And if she said no? Would he let her go? The possibility caused him an unexpectedly strong wrench of feeling.
Olivia pursed her lips, her expression distant. ‘What kind of marriage would we have?’ she asked after a long, taut moment of waiting.
‘The kind anyone has. A real marriage in every sense of the word.’
‘Real?’ She finally met his gaze, her own startlingly direct. ‘A real marriage means a loving one.’
He recoiled a little, unable to keep himself from it. ‘Is that what you want? Love?’
Her mouth twisted in a sad smile. ‘I’ve dreamed of it, yes. I think most young girls do.’
‘True.’ He hesitated, wanting to appease her but knowing he could make no promises to love her. None at all.
‘I know you don’t love me, Zayed,’ Olivia said. She almost sounded gentle. ‘I’m not expecting you to proclaim your love or something like that.’ She laughed softly. ‘The expression on your face! You look horrified.’
Zayed tried to school his features into something more appropriate. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘It’s all right.’ She sighed and leaned back against the sofa. ‘I just have to consider if it’s something I’m willing to give up.’
‘There are worse things than being a slave to such an emotion.’
She glanced at him curiously. ‘Is that how you see it? As some form of slavery?’
Zayed shrugged. ‘It traps you. Takes you hostage.’
‘You’ve been in love, then?’
‘No, not romantically. But I’ve lost people I’ve loved, and I don’t want to feel that...vulnerable again.’ His hands tightened into fists. He felt vulnerable enough just admitting that much.
Olivia nodded slowly. ‘I suppose I can understand that.’
‘Can you?’ He felt a wave of relief, then a flicker of hope. ‘Then...?’
‘I need to think about it,’ Olivia said. ‘We’re talking about a life decision, Zayed, not something to be decided in a moment.’
‘Of course.’
‘Although I understand your need to have this issue resolved as quickly as possible.’
He smiled, letting it linger. ‘Your understanding is very considerate, Olivia.’
She smiled back, and there it was, the spark that always seemed to be snapping between them, kindling into flame. He wanted her all over again, and he let her see it in his eyes.
‘We would be good together, Olivia. We are good together.’
‘In that way,’ she murmured, looking away. ‘Yes.’
‘It is not to be discounted.’ He paused, wanting to convince her, to seal the deal, no matter what she said about needing to think. ‘I believe I could make you happy.’ He realised as he spoke the words that he meant them. He could make her happy and, moreover, he wanted to make her happy. Over the last few weeks he’d enjoyed seeing that shy smile bloom across her face. Last night he’d loved feeling her come alive in his arms. She’d lived a quiet, sheltered life, a life of restraint and shadows. He would be able to give her so much more once he was restored to his throne. And he would be restored. Soon. Very soon.
Olivia nodded, seeming lost in thought, her gaze averted from his. Zayed wished he knew what she was thinking. He wished he knew how to convince her.
‘Why don’t you come with me tomorrow?’ he said impulsively. Olivia at least turned back to look at him.
‘Come with you? Where?’
‘I’m touring some nearby villages, to reassure the people.’
Olivia frowned. ‘Should you really have me accompany you when it hasn’t been decided?’
Probably not, but Zayed wanted her there. Wanted to show his people as well as Olivia herself that she could be his Queen. That she was his Queen.
‘It would be an opportunity for you to see what your role would be, and for my people to see you.’
‘And if we dissolve the marriage...?’
He shrugged. ‘Then I will explain.’ He leaned forward, urgent now. ‘But give us a chance, Olivia. Give Kalidar a chance.’
Olivia let out a long, low breath and nodded slowly. ‘All right,’ she said, and it sounded like a concession rather than something she might look forward to. ‘I’ll go with you.’
THE WIND WHIPPED Olivia’s hair away from her face as the Jeep bumped over the desert dunes. They’d touched down in a helicopter an hour ago and had been travelling steadily since then under a bright blue sky and lemon-yellow sun. After the cool alpine temperatures at Rubyhan, the desert heat felt overwhelming, like entering a furnace. At least the breeze from the open-top Jeep helped.