Deceit. Kerry Barnes
her face, she held her breath and listened to the creaking, as the door to her bedroom slowly opened. She could smell his aftershave, that intoxicating smell that lingered after he would leave. A smell she had learned to detest. Each slow, deliberate footstep was like death itself creeping up on her. Small beads of sweat peppered her brow as she lay there, desperate for the nightmare to be over. Yet, as she felt the bed sink, she knew then it had only just begun. Another night of terror.
His slimy words and hot breath made her shudder, as he pulled back the covers and brushed his bristly chin against her cheek. She kept her eyes tightly closed and gripped the quilt in a vain attempt to prevent revealing her body that was barely covered by the thin nightdress she was wearing. She was conscious of her breasts. They had just started to develop, not big enough for a bra but not small enough for a vest. Still, she was aware that they were there, and so was he, as he ran his large calloused hands over her.
She winced and wanted to yell, but the fear of death was more frightening. He whispered those dark, cold words, ‘Scream and you will die. No one will believe you; no one cares, but me. I love you, my little darling. No one will love you as much as me. Now, let me show you how much I love you.’
She pushed her head deeper into the pillow, unable to look at his ruddy face and those narrow, brown, lifeless eyes. Over and over in her mind, she said, ‘Please go away, please go away.’
The wind banged the open window, and for a second, she was back in the room, and his heavy body, like a devouring octopus, lay across her. She fought to drift off to another place, deep into a storybook she’d once read, but the loud bang made her jump again.
As she tried to turn her tear-stained face to the side, she suddenly saw an eye, staring in through a partially opened door. She recognised those eyes, and begged and pleaded, with the terror on her face, for the person behind that door to rescue her. But that figure with its sorrowful look disappeared as quickly as it arrived and only intensified her fear. She was all alone, and she was powerless to prevent this and other sordid acts from continuing. Why? Because she was a child, and he was an adult … a monster.
The cold wind ripped at her face and through her thick Ralph Lauren camel coat. Kara quickened her pace, cursing under her breath, ‘Damn the fucking car.’ She rarely swore in public, but this freezing cold morning, she felt like screaming obscenities. The bus stop was a short distance and rather than wait for the AA man, she headed off, determined not to be late for work.
Just as she reached the end of her close, she noticed a woman, the same one she’d seen staring at her in Tesco yesterday. Dressed in a long black coat and black gloves, the tall fair-haired lady grinned. Kara was about to say good morning when the woman curled her lip and smirked. Baffled by the odd interaction, Kara looked away. She put her head down and continued.
As she hurried along the main road that separated the private development from the council estate, she pulled her hat down below her ears to stop the wind biting and giving her an earache. The bus shot past her, and her heart sank. She felt like crying. First, the car wouldn’t start, and now she’d missed the bus. She contemplated going home and calling in sick, but she’d had two days off last week with that excuse and it wasn’t going down too well with her manager.
The only other option was to cut through the estate and catch another bus; they were more frequent from the other side. She had only ever done this twice before and both times had been a nightmare. On the first occasion, she was almost in the middle of a war between two families hurling bricks at each other, and on the second one, she was chased by a pit bull. Luckily, the owner managed to stop the dog in its tracks before it sunk its teeth into her. Even so, it frightened the life out of her.
She stopped at the kerb and faltered for a second before crossing the road. None of the winos would be out this early, the teenagers would still be asleep, and so she made a decision to go for it. Besides, she was frozen to the bone, and waiting another half an hour would really cause her to spin on her heels and return to the warmth of her home. She stepped off the pavement, making her way through the estate. It was so gloomy and dingy, she felt as though she had entered a Mad Max film.
Why the council couldn’t help these people by adding a play area or fixing the broken windows was beyond her. It saddened her to think that the poorer members of society were shoved into homes like these. It reminded her every day that they had nothing.
She passed the first block and was almost knocked down. A woman pushing a buggy wasn’t looking where she was going because she had her neck craning over her shoulder, shouting up at the top maisonette, which was three storeys high. Kara looked at the baby in the buggy and smiled.
‘You’re a right no-good, a fucking wrong ’un, Billy Big Balls. I swear on me muvver’s eyesight, you’ll not fucking see me or the baby again, ya dirty cunt!’ screamed the woman. Then, she turned to march on and glared at Kara, looking her up and down and making no bones about it. ‘What are you fucking gawping at? Ya fucking snob!’
Kara was stunned. Before she could answer, the woman pushed past her, still shouting foul-mouthed insults. Glancing down at her expensive coat, long real leather boots, and Louis Vuitton handbag, she felt self-conscious and out of place. Again, she felt near to tears because she wasn’t a snob.
She looked up at the man hanging over the balcony with a white vest and his arms covered in tattoos. ‘Julie, get back ’ere, ya fucking stupid bitch. I ain’t gone anywhere near ya fucking sister!’
‘Go and fucking hug a landmine, ya rotten dirty scrot.’
Kara looked away and carried on ahead. The main road was now in sight, as she hurried her way through the rubbish, dirt, and debris. Luckily, the bus arrived a minute or two later. The heat hit her, as she stepped on the bus and paid the driver. Instantly, the warm air made her nose run and her cheeks tingle. She got herself comfortable and waited for the driver to pull away.
But there was a hold-up. Kara looked out of the front window to see the mother with the buggy running down the road waving her hands to stop the vehicle. Kara smiled to herself. The woman had so much nerve to run down the middle of the road, swearing at the drivers of the two cars that hooted at her. The doors flew open and she hopped on, dragging the buggy behind her. ‘Cheers, mate. Cor, it’s fucking taters out there,’ she said, out of breath.
The bus driver obviously knew who she was. ‘Off back to ya muvver’s, Julie?’ he asked half-laughing.
Still struggling to find her purse, she replied, ‘Yeah, that fat cunt has been sniffing around our Sharon again. I’m off up there to give her a fucking thump. Er, Tom, I think I’ve left me purse at home.’
Kara felt in her pocket for change, ready to offer the woman’s fare, but the driver replied to the woman, ‘Just get on, Julie.’
Kara watched as the skinny woman, dressed in a tight tracksuit and a body warmer, tugged the buggy and plonked herself onto the side seat. On the back of the buggy was a big bag that she dived into; she retrieved a dummy, sucked it clean, and stuffed it in the baby’s mouth. Kara noticed the woman’s hands were shaking and discerned the sores around her mouth. Her hair, tightly pulled back in a scruffy bun against her pale skin, did her no favours whatsoever. Two huge loop earrings dangled from her ears and a stud had been inserted through her eyebrow.
The woman noticed her staring and glared back. ‘Do you know me or what? Ya keep staring, ya nosy prat!’
Kara looked away and stared out of the side window. Her intention wasn’t to be nosy; she actually felt sorry for the girl.
As they approached the next stop, another young woman was waiting; she was so much like Julie, they could have been sisters. As soon as she hopped on, she plonked herself next to Julie. ‘All right, Jue, where ya off to, then?’
Julie was searching through her tatty-looking fake Prada bag. ‘Me muvver’s, to see that skanky sister of mine. I found fat boy’s phone with