Wartime for the District Nurses. Annie Groves
came back and told Edith: ‘Belinda wants to stay longer, but Billy said he’d make sure she gets back all right. I’ve said goodbye on your behalf, so we can leave whenever you like.’
Edith sighed with relief. ‘Let’s go right now. No point in hanging around. Thanks, Mary.’ She shrugged into her bolero and drew it around her. ‘Come on, we can go out the back way.’ She linked her arm through her friend’s and they quietly made their way through the gate into the little lane behind the beer garden – where once Harry had led her, the night she’d realised he was the only man for her.
At breakfast the next morning, Belinda was last down, almost missing the porridge. Edith, who had been chatting to Alice, waved her over. ‘How was the rest of last night?’ she asked. ‘Did Billy walk you home like he said he would?’
Belinda looked guilty. ‘Yes, but I lost track of time and I missed the curfew. I didn’t realise it was after ten o’clock until he looked at his watch. I had to sneak past the front door and hope nobody was watching. I remembered what you used to do, though, and found the loose fence panel. I almost ripped my skirt getting through the gap – I’d hate to think what would have happened if I’d been any bigger. Mary said she’d leave a window open just in case and so I climbed in that way.’
Edith grinned. ‘Good job you’re so tall. I always needed help to reach the windowsill. I’d have been completely stuck on my own.’
‘I scraped my knee as it was,’ Belinda said ruefully. ‘Still, it was worth it. I really enjoyed myself and it took my mind off David. I’m trying not to think about what he’s doing, you see.’
Edith and Alice nodded in sympathy, although Alice had no brothers and sisters, and Edith wasn’t close to any of her brothers in the way Belinda evidently was.
‘Billy’s ever so nice, isn’t he?’ Belinda went on. ‘He had to come out of his way to bring me back. I assumed he must live near here when he offered but, no, his house is in the opposite direction, yet he swore he didn’t mind.’
Edith agreed. ‘He’s one of the kindest people I know. That’s typical of him.’ She watched Belinda with curiosity. Was there something more than friendly appreciation behind what she’d said? Had Billy taken her fancy? Belinda had never talked about a boyfriend so perhaps it was possible. Edith decided not to mention the complication of Kathleen.
‘Anyway, Peggy certainly seemed to enjoy herself,’ Belinda continued. ‘She and that Canadian airman got on like a house on fire. I think she’s going to see him again.’
Alice raised her eyebrows in surprise. ‘Really? Isn’t that a bit soon?’
Edith pulled a face. ‘Well, I’d have thought so, but if that’s her way of getting over Pete then I don’t suppose we can blame her. Perhaps it’s just a bit of fun.’
‘What’s he like?’ Alice asked.
‘Very good-looking,’ Belinda said at once. ‘Dark hair, dark eyes, easy to talk to. Generous as well – he bought everyone drinks all night.’
‘Yes, you couldn’t fault him for that,’ Edith agreed, remembering all the port and lemons Peggy had had.
Alice picked up on the tone of her friend’s voice. ‘But what? Didn’t you like him, Edie?’
‘No, it’s not that.’ Edith stopped to think about her impressions of Laurence. Everything Belinda said was true, and yet there was something about him she hadn’t warmed to. Was it the way he had eyed up Mary when they’d arrived? Then again, she was hardly in the mood to start taking an interest in men. ‘I’m just being silly, pay me no notice. I didn’t really speak to him enough to say either way.’
Alice glanced at her sceptically but Belinda didn’t see. ‘Well, I thought he was a bit of a catch. I don’t suppose he’ll be around for long, though. They’re based down on the south coast somewhere, so they’re bound to go back there soon and that’ll be that.’
Edith got up, clearing her plate and cup. ‘I expect you’re right.’ But she couldn’t shake that faint feeling of unease.
‘You’re getting too big for this!’ Kathleen exclaimed, lifting her son into his pram, which had seemed so huge when she’d first got it. Brian beamed up at her, his face now almost chubby. He still fitted in but gone were the days when she could easily sit him at one end and a bag of shopping at the other. It was finally being able to give him proper food that had made the difference.
Kathleen had struggled when he had been a small baby, with scarcely any money to feed the pair of them and make ends meet. If it hadn’t been for her best friend Mattie insisting that she came round to the Banhams’ house so often, they would have been in deep trouble. Then Ray had joined the merchant navy and some of his wages found their way back home, which had helped. Kathleen automatically rubbed her wrist and arm at the mere thought of him. She was never going to forget the way he’d hurt her, throwing her to the floor and all because she’d needed to feed Brian before paying attention to him. She had loved Ray with all her heart, even more so because her family had been so against the match. It had taken that day when he’d come home and she’d feared he would attack his own son to make her fully realise the sort of man he was.
Now he was dead, lost at Dunkirk along with so many others. Plenty would say he was a hero, and she supposed he was. At least she could tell Brian that his father had died for a noble cause. She would try to hold on to that, rather than the cold truth of Ray the wife-beater, jealous of his own son. While one part of her still longed for the passion they had shared, a greater part felt nothing but relief. He could never hurt either of them again.
Yet she blamed herself for not mourning him more deeply. He had been her husband, after all. Shouldn’t she feel terrible, as if life had no meaning, that she’d never be the same again? Like poor Edith did. The guilt was eating away inside her. She knew she was avoiding her friends, those who wanted to help her, like the Banhams and Billy. Especially Billy.
He’d always been so kind to her and come to her rescue more than once, very discreetly lending her money when he correctly suspected she had no other way of paying the rent. She’d been too proud to tell anyone just how bad her financial problems were, but somehow he had known. That was before he had saved her from the speeding car with its drunk driver. She and Brian would have been badly hurt, even killed, and he hadn’t thought twice. So really she should show him just how grateful she was.
However, the more she acknowledged how she felt, the worse the guilt became. She’d failed to see what a good man Billy was and had been taken in by Ray’s shallow charm. More fool her. Now she was too confused to know what to do.
‘Off we go,’ she said, forcing herself to sound bright and encouraging, not wanting Brian to glimpse the darkness inside her. She manoeuvred the heavy pram down the narrow pavement of Jeeves Place, waving to her old neighbour Mrs Bishop who sometimes babysat, dodging the broken slabs on the corner, and headed for Ridley Road market.
No matter how miserable she was, Kathleen usually enjoyed the bustle of the market, where many of the stallholders knew her, and some even saved little treats for Brian. He would sit up straighter in his pram when they drew near to the best fruit and vegetable stall and start to wave his arms when he caught sight of the man who ran it. Sure enough, today the man came around to the front of his stall, still piled high with colourful produce despite all the difficulties of the war. At least fruit and veg weren’t rationed. ‘How’s my favourite customer today?’ he asked, bending down to Brian’s level, and Brian squealed in delight.
‘He’s giving me no end of trouble, growing so fast,’ Kathleen laughed, pleased to see that Brian didn’t mind relative strangers. He was becoming a sociable little boy. That was exactly what she wanted. He hadn’t been around his aggressive father enough to taste real fear.
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