Rookie Cop. Nikki Benjamin
He had wanted only to put his arms around her, to hold her close and feather kisses along her cheek as he begged for her forgiveness.
He had known that she wouldn’t let him touch her, though. Known it with a certainty that had made his heart ache. But surely she would listen to what he had to say….
“I need to talk to you, Megan,” he’d begun, his voice rasping in his throat.
“Oh, really?” she had replied, the look in her eyes changing to one of utter disdain.
“Yes, really. Please, just let me come in. Give me a chance—”
“The time for talking has passed, Jake,” she’d said, her tone ever so polite as she cut him off.
Her gaze never wavering, she had closed the door in his face with a finality that had sliced straight through to his soul.
Since that long-ago day, Megan had ignored him every time he’d arranged for their paths to cross at one public place or another. In fact, the studious way in which she avoided any contact with him had not only become cause for comment in the close-knit community, it had also reached laughable proportions.
Jake had wanted to give Megan the time and space she seemed to need. But for all the glimpses of him he had made sure she’d catch around town, she hadn’t warmed up to him in the least. The time had come to take more vigorous action.
Now all he had to do was think of some way, short of kidnapping her, to gain her complete and undivided attention. And then, of course, he would have to find the words to tell her how very sorry he was for letting her down—words that he had no way of making her believe.
Closing his eyes again, Jake tried rubbing his temples, pressing hard in a futile attempt to ease the throb in his head.
Megan seemed happy enough with the life she had made for herself in Serenity. Maybe she didn’t really want him around anymore, and he was simply failing to take the hint. And maybe, just maybe, the rumors he’d heard about a new man in her life were actually true.
Though Jake had yet to see Megan and Steven Barns—the high school principal who had lost his wife almost two years ago—together himself, he had it on good authority that they had danced quite a few times at the senior prom they’d chaperoned. They had also shared a table at the school picnic.
Jake ground his teeth at the thought of good old Steve, one of the town’s designated nice guys, putting his hands on Megan. She might not be his wife anymore, but that didn’t mean he—
A subtle but noticeable shift in the atmosphere outside his office caught Jake’s attention. The activity level in the station had been fairly low, but until a moment ago, the steady drone of voices—two of his younger officers kidding around with Darcy Osgood, the clerk who maintained the files and answered the phones—had been audible. The sudden, unexpected silence was deafening by comparison.
Turning in his chair, Jake glanced out the window in his office wall to see what was going on, then all but doubled over at the painful lurch that sucked the air from his lungs as it grabbed at his gut.
As if conjured by the force of his thoughts and memories, Megan walked slowly toward his office, weaving her way among the scattered desks as his officers and Darcy looked on in surprised silence. And she was holding a baby in her arms—an infant hardly more than a couple of months old.
Flung back to another time in another place, Jake recalled all too vividly watching Megan walk toward him just so, her gaze turned inward, her mouth softening with a tender smile as her cheek brushed their son’s dark curls. Slashing through him as they did, the knife thrust of those memories, shut away for so long, made it momentarily impossible for him to draw a breath, to push away from his desk, to stand and close the distance still between them.
Get up and go to her and find out what the hell is going on, he ordered himself, aware that he had to gather himself quickly and take control of the situation, not only for his sake but for Megan’s, as well. She wouldn’t have come to him unless she needed his help—needed it desperately.
Jake couldn’t seem to make his legs work, though. Couldn’t seem to find the strength to stand and meet her halfway. In an effort to steady his roiling thoughts and emotions, he shifted his gaze from Megan.
He saw that she had left a stroller parked near the station doorway. He also saw that Darcy and his officers were gawking at her curiously. When he shot a pointed glance at them, they moved hurriedly to their respective desks and pretended to busy themselves with paperwork, and he allowed himself another look at Megan.
She was almost at the door to his office, but she seemed intent only on watching where she was walking. As if she preferred not to acknowledge his presence until the last possible moment, even though she could be there for no other reason than to see him.
She was dressed just as she had been that day nine months ago when he’d gone to see her, in faded jeans and a plain white T-shirt that emphasized how thin she’d gotten over the past few years. Too thin, he thought. And today she was also far too pale for his liking. Against the artful disarray of her dark, chin-length tumble of curls, her face had an almost ghostly cast.
Whatever the reason behind her sudden, unexpected arrival at the Serenity police station, baby in her arms, she was noticeably upset by it. And so, by association, was he, Jake admitted, finally pushing his chair away from his desk so he could stand.
He had wanted to believe that they had each put the death of their son behind them—he in his way and Megan in hers. Now he realized how mistaken he’d been. From the look of her, Megan had to have been jolted as surely as he by the mere sight of the baby she held so protectively. A baby that had to be for her, as it was for him, a living, breathing reminder of all they’d lost.
As Megan paused just inside his office doorway, Jake started toward her, bumping a hip against the edge of his desk hard enough to make him wince.
“Megan…?” he began, his voice sounding harsher to him than intended as he tried to gain some control over his unsteady emotions. “What’s going on?”
Raising her head slowly, she met his gaze at last, the wariness in her icy gray eyes halting him in mid-step. She couldn’t have told him more succinctly how much she regretted having to be there with him if she’d said the words out loud. The message radiated from her very core, coming at him in an almost tangible wave meant to keep him at a distance—as it did.
Jake shoved his hands in the pockets of his khaki pants, mentally cursing himself for thinking, as he had for just a moment, of reaching out to her, putting an arm around her shoulders and drawing her close to his side. She hadn’t come to him seeking comfort, and she wouldn’t appreciate the offer of it. Not by a long shot….
“I need your help,” she answered with just the slightest hesitation, her voice surprisingly cool and utterly, completely detached.
Only the pulse beat of a vein at her temple hinted at her apprehension. Coming to him was costing her much more than she was willing to admit, Jake knew. But come to him she had, and he had nothing to gain by giving her a hard time. In fact, he might be able to win some much needed points by smoothing the way for her as best he could.
“I’m here to serve and protect,” he said, lightening his tone considerably as he offered her a wry smile. “Just tell me what I can do for you, and consider it done.”
The wariness in Megan’s eyes deepened almost imperceptibly, warning him anew that she wasn’t about to be easily tempted to lower her guard. He had been just a tad too genial and she hadn’t been favorably impressed.
“An odd thing happened this morning,” she said after another moment’s hesitation. Then she glanced away with seeming uncertainty.
“Would I be correct in assuming it has something to do with your young friend there?” Jake prompted gently.
He knew that it did, of course. But a nudge in the right direction might make it easier for her to give him an explanation.