Modern Romance January 2020 Books 1-4. Кейт Хьюит
want to,’ she whispered.
‘Then let yourself. See what can be between us, Mia. Discover how good—how wonderful—it could be, if you let yourself trust. Fall. I’ll catch you. I promise I will.’
His words were a siren song that she ached to listen to, and believe. If only it could be so easy. If only she could leave her fears behind and step into this bright, glittering future Alessandro promised. Why not? Why not at least try, for Ella’s sake, for her sake, for theirs?
‘All right,’ she whispered, and Alessandro smiled, victory lighting his eyes as he drew her towards him and kissed her right there on the dance floor, in front of the crowd, his lips on hers like a seal, branding her with his mouth just as he had with his words.
As they broke apart, Mia’s lips buzzed and her face flamed. She felt as if she’d just jumped off a cliff, and she couldn’t yet tell whether she was flying—or falling.
‘Shall we go?’ Alessandro murmured, and she knew what he was asking. They’d been on a dance floor before, in thrall to their shared desire, and he’d asked her the same question. And once again, she could agree, she could let herself be caught up in what was spinning out between them, let it sweep her along so she didn’t have to think or wonder—or fear.
‘Yes, let’s,’ she whispered, and Alessandro laced his fingers through hers once more as he led her through the crowd, the faceless blur barely registering as they left the ballroom and, just as they had once before, stepped out into the warm spring night.
They were both quiet during the limo ride to the private airport where they took a helicopter back to the villa. Mia’s heart thudded in her chest as she thought about what was ahead of them, what she’d agreed to.
No regrets…
The short helicopter ride seemed over in a moment, and then they were walking up towards the darkened villa, Mia achingly aware of Alessandro’s powerful body next to hers. With murmured thanks, he dismissed Alyssa, who assured Mia that Ella had gone to sleep with no problems, and was still sleeping soundly.
At the bottom of the sweeping staircase, Mia paused as Alessandro stood there, his eyes blazing silver as he looked at her, the villa dark and silent all around them.
What was he waiting for?
Why wasn’t he taking her in his arms, kissing away the last of her fears and objections? She was ready to be swept up in something bigger than herself, ready to let herself go. At least she hoped she was.
‘What now?’ she finally asked, when she could bear the silence no longer.
Alessandro met her gaze directly, his hands spread wide. ‘You tell me.’
She eyed him uncertainly. ‘What do you mean?’
‘This moment is yours, Mia. You choose it. You decide what you want now, how far you want this to go.’ He drew a shuddering breath. ‘Do you want me?’ Although his voice was assured, the question held a stark note of painful vulnerability that touched Mia deeply.
For the first time Alessandro was surrendering his control…and in this, the most important and elemental aspect of their relationship.
She’d been fully anticipating him to sweep her into a masterminded and smoothly thought out seduction, and she’d been willing to go along with it, to be caught up in it and, in a way, relieved of any real and active choice…even though that was what she’d been fighting for all along.
But Alessandro wasn’t giving her that option. He was making her choose now, making her fully own the decision she thought she’d already made, back in the ballroom. This could be no silent surrender, defeat by acquiescence, overwhelmed by his sheer force of personality and innate authority that she tried to resent and yet somehow craved. Alessandro wouldn’t let it be that. He was making this moment hers, making her choose it to be theirs.
He held her gaze, his eyes burning fiercely, his hands still spread open wide, his stance one of acceptance rather than aggression or authority. For once he was giving her all the power, all the control, all she’d said she wanted…so what was she going to do?
Alessandro waited, his body tense, his heart thudding. Everything in him resisted this moment, the utter, revealing weakness of it. He didn’t do this. He didn’t let someone else choose his fate, even if just for a night, although this was so much more than a night. He’d always, always been the architect of his own ambition.
But over the course of the evening, as he’d reflected on what Mia had shared about her family and her past, he’d realised that in this, of all things, she needed to have the control. He needed to surrender it, even if everything in him still fought against it. And so he waited.
Mia stared at him for a long moment, a thousand emotions chasing across her lovely face, making her eyes sparkle and her lips tremble. ‘Do I want you?’ she repeated slowly, her voice sliding over the syllables, testing them out, and Alessandro tensed even more, waiting, expectant. Afraid.
Then, to his deep disappointment and dread, she shook her head. ‘Not like that,’ she said, with a nod towards the bedroom waiting upstairs, with its sumptuous king-sized bed and all that it beckoned and promised. The sour taste of rejection flooded his mouth, overwhelmed his senses with the unwelcome acid of it.
She didn’t want him.
‘At least, not just that,’ Mia clarified, her voice trembling. ‘I don’t want another night with you, Alessandro, amazing as the last one was, with all of its repercussions.’
She smiled wryly, straightening her shoulders, and Alessandro raised his eyebrows, his stomach clenched hard with anxiety and uncertainty, both which he hated feeling. He’d never felt so vulnerable, so needy, so open to hurt and pain. ‘What, then?’ he demanded in a raw voice.
‘I came up here prepared to be…to be swept away,’ she began haltingly. ‘I was expecting you to do the sweeping. Then I wouldn’t have had to think or wonder or doubt. I could just let myself feel.’
Which sounded pretty good to Alessandro in this moment. Had he made a mistake, in surrendering his own agency? He had been taking a risk, but it was one he had hoped would turn in his favour. Now he wasn’t so sure.
‘And now?’ he made himself ask, although he half dreaded the answer.
‘And now I want something else. Something more.’
‘More…’
‘I don’t want a night. I want…’ She swallowed, more of a gulp, her eyes huge in her face as she looked at him resolutely, her chin tilted upwards in determination, her slender body trembling with emotion. ‘I want for ever.’
Surprise and a far greater relief rippled through him. She wasn’t rejecting him. Them. ‘For ever…’
Her smile trembled on her lips. ‘I know you’ve been hoping or even expecting me to marry you. But I want this to be on my terms, and amazingly you seem to want that, too. So now I’m the one proposing. The one choosing. Will you…will you marry me?’
He laughed, the sound one of shock but also admiration. He hadn’t expected that. ‘You know I will. In fact…’ Fumbling a little, he reached for the small box of black velvet that had nestled in his pocket all evening. ‘I was planning to make you a proper proposal tonight, but I didn’t want to seem as if I was pressuring you, or arranging things somehow…’ He held the box out in the palm of his hand. ‘But I can’t think of a better moment than this one.’
‘Nor can I.’ Smiling a little, she reached for it. Alessandro held his breath as she carefully opened the box, her eyes widening at the sight of the simple solitaire diamond nestled amidst its soft velvet folds. ‘It’s beautiful, Alessandro.’