Summer Beach Reads. Natalie Anderson
both vulnerable and strong. His sharp clarity returned. He didn’t want her trying to bend into a box to keep any fling with him going. He had no illusions that a fling wouldn’t end. Of course it would. In the past, a woman in a relationship with him soon grew tired—of his long absences due to constant travel, his mental and emotional absences. Ellie would soon get to the point where she’d had enough. She’d get mad and shout how selfish he was. How he didn’t care.
Frankly he didn’t want to care.
But he didn’t want Ellie walking out on him in anger. She recognised his faults already. Knew what would happen. So she was removing that eventuality with immediate effect because she didn’t want to lose touch with him altogether. She didn’t want to disappear in the sunrise as another one-night stand. There was something in him she liked and wanted—other than sex.
And maybe all that was, was his acceptance of everything she was, without question or criticism. And he felt a simple honesty in return—he didn’t want to screw her over. He didn’t want to let her down. That was the last thing she deserved. And the only way he could ensure he wouldn’t was to do as she’d asked.
ELLIE woke in a crumpled but cosy ball. Stretching out of it was the problem, given her muscles were stiffer than they’d been the day before. Half beneath her was Ruben, toppled sideways on the sofa, still in his tux and destined to have a hellish crick in his neck
They’d spent their first almost platonic night together. There’d been that sleepy kissing session and that moment just before she fell so deeply into sleep—the teasing luxury, the supposed relief he’d given her.
But it was no relief at all. It was like having the merest taste of some decadent gateaux that was now locked behind a glass cabinet and for ever out of bounds. All she could do was look at it with longing. Yeah, she wanted to devour the gateaux now—to indulge in every last bit. She could feel his hard length pressed against her thigh. Who was she kidding about the ‘friends’ thing? The desire to have him was too intense. ‘Ruben?’
His eyes opened, his gaze warm and drowsy. Only as he woke he blinked a couple of times and a cool veil slipped down, masking that expression. She didn’t like it.
She shifted her thigh so his thick erection pressed closer into her softness. ‘You failed already.’
He shook his head. ‘You’re the one who got the “benefit” last night.’
‘You teased me into it.’ He was tempting her deliberately again now—wasn’t he?
‘You asked me to kiss you in the most inappropriate places,’ he said softly. ‘I was a complete gentleman.’
‘With your hand in my pants?’
‘You wanted my mouth there,’ he countered. ‘I went with the less intimate option.’
Oh, it was all intimate. Excitement skittered through her. Yes, the friends idea was a failure already...
‘We’d better get going,’ he said crisply, dropping his gaze from hers. He shifted slightly so he was no longer so intimately against her.
She slid off him—withdrawing too, chilling as she realised he wasn’t out to tease her. He really was drawing the line she’d asked him to. ‘You’re so right. We had.’
Ruben drove them to the airport. It wasn’t as foggy as the day before but it was still grey and wet. No doubt the flight would be bumpy. She sighed as they pulled up outside the terminal. The heartfelt sound gave away more than she meant it to.
‘It’ll be no problem,’ he said, his hands tightly gripping the steering wheel.
‘Of course,’ she said, not believing it at that point in time. ‘I’m off on a four-day tour next week.’
‘I’m heading up to Taupo in the latter half of the week.’
‘So there we go,’ she said breezily, covering the ache of his absence that was already twisting her heart. ‘Physical distance will take care of any last little itch.’
‘Absolutely.’
‘Don’t come in, you can just drop me,’ she said as he pulled into a park.
‘Okay,’ he answered readily. ‘I’ll be in touch.’
She wondered if that was a line. If the whole ‘sure we can be friends’ agreement had just been him being charming and polite to get through the weekend. Now she had some info for work, there was no reason for him to contact her directly again. He could do all the negotiations with Bridie and be absent if ever Ellie came on tour here. What a fool she’d been. She should have just taken his body for the weekend and been done with it, because she’d probably never hear from him again once she’d stepped from his car.
He seemed to read her doubts. ‘I want to be friends.’ He leaned across the car to brush a lock of her hair from her face. ‘Truth is I like you. I had fun.’
‘So did I.’
And not that kind of fun. Of course now the trouble was the yearning, for that was all she could feel right now. Especially after that sweet kissing session last night—those deep kisses had turned her heart completely inside out. It was one thing to have dynamite, animal sex. It was another to have tenderness and quietness and restraint. That had showed respect.
At the time she hadn’t wanted it, but it had been respect, not rejection, that had stopped him from going down on her. From taking everything she’d been offering in her most vulnerable moment. She got out of the car quickly and didn’t look back. She was in enough trouble without a longing parting glance.
Fortunately in the modern age there was that safe way to communicate—the text message. Where you could send just the smallest of sentences and wait to see what—if any—response you got. She was completely overthinking it already, mentally composing some silly thing she’d write the first time. Wondering again whether he’d even reply or whether he’d just been going along with her ‘friends’ idea merely for form’s sake over the weekend...
Just as she was rolling her eyes at her own pathetic thoughts her phone chimed. She read the text right away.
Is it within friend boundaries to say I miss you already? Can’t stop thinking about you.
She smiled and tapped out her reply.
No, I think that’s ok. Friends do miss each other.
Yeah but you don’t know what it is I’m thinking about doing with you.
That’s possibly too close to the boundary.
I like to bend boundaries.
Ellie flexed her feet to rid even a fraction of the amount of tension from her overwrought body. He was hopeless. But even so, she was happier to have him as a hopeless charmer than not at all.
I’m turning my phone off, my flight’s about to depart.
Ellie managed not to turn her phone back on after she’d landed—not ’til she was home and in her pyjamas and had one of her fave films loaded. It rang a mere five minutes later.
‘Are you watching a movie?’ He obviously heard it playing in the background.
She chuckled. ‘Yes.’
‘What is it?’
‘Casablanca.’
‘What happens?’
‘You’ve never seen it?’
‘No. Tell me about it.’
Somehow they ended up talking for over an hour.
* * *
A week and a half later Ruben lay back in bed and touched her name on his phone. He’d