The Greek Bachelors Collection. Rebecca Winters
be eating like this. I’m sure there will be sandwiches at midnight more often than not, but today was a very productive meeting and if we can keep up that momentum, we’ll be enjoying another celebration like this at the end of a very successful project.” With a teasing smile that impacted like a heart punch, she added to Theo, “Provided we’re on budget, of course.”
“You will be.” Maybe he was biased, even a bit dazzled. He certainly wouldn’t let her fail, but he had every confidence she’d pull this off beautifully.
“They’re so in love,” the wife of their IT specialist said, then pressed fingertips to her lips as everyone turned to look at her. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to say that so loud.”
She was mortified and everyone else seemed amused, but Theo felt as though he’d been stripped naked in front of all of them. Was that what this was? Love?
His sense of vulnerability, of having his deepest desire revealed, was so threatening he couldn’t look at Jaya. It would only reinforce how much she meant to him, allowing others to wield his feelings for her as a weapon. He cut an instinctive glance to the place he’d always been able to count on for cover when he was at his least guarded.
Adara was already watching him and smoothly drew everyone’s attention to her end of the table. “We’re very excited about this pairing. Even if they weren’t married, I would have wanted Jaya to head this project, but having them so closely connected should help you all get the answers you need so you can keep moving forward.”
Gideon made some remark about the newlyweds curtailing their honeymooning to review software code, but Theo didn’t absorb it. The luminescent curtain that surrounded them in this private dining area was supposed to give a waterfall effect, but he was drowning under the rapids at the moment. The pressure in his chest suffocated him while he tried to discern which way was up. Pressure in his ears made the room’s music sound muted while the clink of crystal tableware was like shattering glass.
He was falling apart internally while he had to maintain an unaffected front, exactly as he always had.
Jaya was pretty sure she’d never be able to eat here again. She couldn’t eat now, when an amuse-bouche arrived in the form of a tiny fried noodle nest with a grape tomato egg and a herb leaf feather floating in a spoonful of consume. She wanted to run away and hide from the terrible lie that she was allowing to prevail.
Her husband didn’t love her. She wished he did. Every morning she woke next to him hoping today would be the day he’d find the words. In six weeks of marriage, no matter how happy they seemed on the surface, he had yet to speak of his feelings.
But she had to sit here and smile at a table of mostly strangers, reminding herself that her life was actually very fulfilling. Theo did care for her in his way. He had overturned his life for her and their child, provided for them in a way that was ridiculously extravagant and always made time for them.
Then there was the sex. As a couple, they might not be given to public displays of affection, but behind closed doors they were the clichéd newlyweds who couldn’t keep their hands off each other. They started most of their days locked in orgasm and fell asleep sweaty and tangled together.
So what did it matter if people assumed they were in love and it was only true on one side? She was still happy, wasn’t she?
Don’t be impatient, Jaya. Don’t ruin it.
That was a bitter imperative to swallow when she’d spent the beginning of her life telling herself, Go after what you want. Don’t settle.
The evening turned into the longest of her life and only became more intolerable when they said good-night to their guests at the coat room. Theo held her wool wrap and asked near her ear, “You okay?”
This from the man who had become Robot Theo for the last two hours, tense and barely able to string two civil words together, leaving all the talking to her. If she’d found the love remark disconcerting, he’d found it insufferable.
“I’m fine,” she mumbled as she clutched the edges of the wrap across her aching breastbone.
Across the room, Gideon lifted Adara’s hair out from beneath the collar of her jacket. His gaze on her was tender as he cupped her face to give her a light kiss. Her smile when he drew back was radiant.
Jaya wanted to cry. She’d settled and could never back out now, even if she hadn’t loved her husband so much she thought she’d die of it.
“Don’t lie to me, Jaya,” he said beside her with quiet ferocity. “Even if you think it might be easier for both of us.”
She met his gaze, but it was painful to hold. He’d see how much regret filled her. Funny how she’d thought the worst thing in the world had been being a financial burden on her uncle. No, it was far worse to be an emotional burden. She didn’t want Theo to know she loved him when he couldn’t love her back. It would be more weight on his conscience than he deserved to carry. It wasn’t his fault he couldn’t love.
“Adara,” he called, startling Jaya with his sharp tone.
His sister turned back from exiting with her husband.
“Is something wrong?” she asked as she approached, looking between the two of them. The weird thing was, it was like she already knew. Jaya had a feeling Adara was as aware of how tonight’s gaffe had affected Theo as Jaya was.
A gut-wrenching sense of rejection filled her as she saw Theo’s not loving her blink larger than the sign in Times Square. Everyone knew.
“Will you swing by our place on your way home and take Zephyr overnight? The sitter can’t stay,” Theo said. “I’ll text her to let her know.”
“What? No!” Jaya protested in shock. “Why—?”
“Of course,” Gideon cut in smoothly. “Our pleasure.”
“But we’re going straight home,” Jaya insisted. “Aren’t we?”
“We’ll use the family suite here tonight.”
“Theo—” Jaya began.
“Please let us do this.” Adara set a light touch on her arm. “Theo never asks me for anything.” Leaning in to buss Jaya’s cheek with her own, she whispered, “Please don’t give up on him.” With a tight smile of concern, she and Gideon hurried away.
Speechless, Jaya watched them depart. “This is crazy. Why did you do that?”
“Crazy? We both know we need to talk.”
She hugged herself into her wrap, cold despite their staying inside. As he nudged her toward the elevators, she stumbled.
“I don’t want to talk,” she mumbled. This was her problem, not theirs. She had known what she was marrying. Maybe he would come to love her eventually, but not if she forced it.
“There’s a switch.” He eyed her as he brought out his card and got them into the private elevator.
“What is?”
“You being the one who doesn’t want to talk. Especially after you taught me it’s the only way to fix things. Why are you trying to take that away from me now?”
“I’m not,” she protested as they entered the family suite. “I just don’t see any use this time.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t want to hear again that you don’t love me and never will!” The outburst surprised even her. She pulled her wrap tighter around her throat, turning away to hide her hurt.
He drew a long, harsh breath then heavy silence descended.
She waited.
Nothing.
A choking little cry of protest escaped her. “And there you go again, withdrawing—”
“It’s not easy for me, Jaya!