In Too Deep / Matched. Taryn Belle
kind and brave and beautiful? That you’re a kick-ass scuba diver who wouldn’t hesitate to put her life at risk for someone else’s? That you’re an amazing schoolteacher whose kids made you pictures of themselves bawling their eyes out when you had to leave them? That you just happened to get caught up in a big, fat mess that wasn’t even close to being your fault?”
Nicola dropped her gaze again. “You know that’s not true. Not the whole truth, anyway.” Suddenly, her eyes were filling with tears. She shook her head as she tried to stem the flow with the edges of her fingers. As surreally wonderful as the events of the past twenty-four hours had been, they’d also put her on an emotional roller coaster that she hadn’t been prepared to ride.
Kiki moved closer to Nicola so she could put an arm around her shoulders. “It’s okay. You’ve been so strong about this for so long, I think it’s good for you to have a cry about it. What happened to you was fucking bullshit.”
“Sure, it might have been, but—” Nicola took a deep breath, trying to get her emotions under control. She wiped at her tears and looked at her friend squarely. “Even if Matthew and I never acted on our feelings, we still had them. I can’t deny that. Sure, the press blew it into so much more—all that stuff about secret meetings and family outings with his son was bullshit—but that day after our meeting about Oliver… Well, that photo didn’t lie. Matthew told me how he felt about me, and I didn’t brush him off or tell him to go away or remind him that he was a married father. I let him kiss me. I wanted him to! And after that, I started dreaming about him leaving his wife, about a future with him and Oliver. It was an affair of the heart if not the body—”
“But you did the right thing,” Kiki reminded her. “You never touched him again after that. And in the end you left your whole life behind to do the right thing! You need to give yourself a break, sweetie.”
“I’d like to, but the guilt is still there.” Nicola sniffed. “I can’t help it. When I think of Oliver now, wondering what happened to his family… I just can’t take it. I still feel like it’s all my fault.”
“But it’s not. If a marriage is strong, it’s like an airtight room—nothing can get in to destroy it. But when there are big problems, the walls start to wear away, leaving an opening for someone else to enter the relationship. If it hadn’t been you, it would have been another woman.”
Nicola stayed quiet, but her friend’s words made sense. Despite Kiki’s scatterbrained ways, Nicola had a lot of respect for her. With her light red hair, freckles and tiny-but-perfect figure, she had the look of an innocent china doll, but Nicola knew that her appearance belied a tough inner strength. She’d come from a childhood that had been traumatic in a completely different way from Nicola’s, but she’d prevailed and created the life she wanted on her own terms. And it wasn’t like Kiki didn’t know a thing or two about relationships—though only thirty, she already had a four-year marriage behind her.
“Okay,” Nicola said, taking a deep breath. “Okay, so maybe you’re right. But that still doesn’t solve my problem. What about Alex? How do I tell him my big claim to fame is being the 10 Things to Know About Matthew Beck’s Mistress girl—not to mention point number ten? Remember that one?”
Kiki shook her head. “Just tell him, sweetie. He’ll understand—everyone makes mistakes. I’m betting he’s got a few under his belt.”
Nicola nodded slowly. “You’re right. I know—I just have to look him in the eye and do it.” She took another deep breath, already feeling a little better. Screw it if he couldn’t accept who she was—her past wasn’t going away, and it was better to know now if this was a deal breaker for him or not. She glanced at her watch. “Speaking of which, I’m supposed to be meeting him in an hour. Hey!” she said, snapping her fingers. “Guess where I’m going tonight? To Dev Stone’s birthday party.”
Kiki’s eyes widened. “Are you freaking kidding me?”
“Seriously. Actually… Alex said the whole island would be there.” Said aloud, this statement suddenly gave her pause. The party was bound to have more than a few LA residents attending, and what if one of them recognized her? But then again, compared to Dev Stone’s friends and acquaintances, she was hardly considered noteworthy. She added, “I’m sure Alex was exaggerating a tiny bit, but I bet he wouldn’t mind if you came along. I mean, if you want to?”
Kiki jumped up from the sofa. “Want to? Are you joking?” She brought her hands to her head. “Shit—what am I going to wear?” But then her excited expression was erased by a thundercloud. “What am I saying? I have to work tonight! Fuck!”
“Maybe you could get off early?” Nicola suggested.
Kiki snorted. “With Juan managing tonight? Not freaking likely. But, hey—stranger things have happened.”
“Yes,” Nicola agreed with a smile. “They certainly have.”
By the time Alex turned into Nicola’s driveway on his golf cart, he was good and ready to leave his day behind. With still no word back from Brissoli, this morning Alex had both left a message at the hotel for him and written him a curt email calling his bluff: leaving tomorrow. get in touch if you’re interested.
One of the things Alex had learned in business was that matching someone else’s communication style could be an excellent way to get results. He’d spent the rest of the day on the phone putting out fires back home, followed by a brief conversation with his father, who had of course wanted to know only one thing: Had Alex done the deal? Well, that wasn’t entirely true—Devin Sr. had also wanted to hear all about Dev Jr.’s latest successes and achievements. “He just continues to amaze, doesn’t he?” had been his father’s concluding observation before Alex hung up the phone, feeling the old sense of inferiority take hold that he’d left behind years ago—or so he’d told himself. Alex was a grown man, and the fact that he was still seeking his father’s admiration, or at least his approval, made him furious with himself.
And now, eight hours after Alex had left his message at the hotel and sent his email to Brissoli, the man still hadn’t taken the bait.
It was enough to make Alex regret, not for the first time, that he’d allowed his desire for his dad’s acknowledgment to sway him into taking over the family business rather than sticking with his import company, which had been really taking off when he’d sold off his half to his partner. But after his mother’s untimely death, his father undeniably needed his help. While Devin Sr. was the more creative partner, his mother had been more business-minded and less emotional—the true head of the company. Alex didn’t think it was any coincidence that his mother had died of a heart attack. She worked harder than anyone he’d ever known, and he knew she’d have expected the same from him if she were still alive. And one thing Alex Stone did not do was underachieve or disappoint. So when his dad asked for his help, he had to give it. If he’d walked away, more than the family business would fall apart—his relationship with his father would. And Alex didn’t have a lot of other family relationships to fall back on.
Alex parked his golf cart in front of Nicola’s tiny bungalow and walked to the front door, trying to shake off his bad mood. Even if his day had gone to shit, he couldn’t deny the low-grade buzz of excitement that had stuck around in his mind and body as he went about his work. Nicola. He didn’t want to analyze it too much, but she was different from any other woman he’d ever met. Sexier and red-fucking-hot in bed, but it was much more than that. She was also kind and courageous and humble. He knew she wasn’t perfect—no one was—but he trusted her to reveal her flaws to him in her own time. Alex couldn’t imagine her messing with his head, and he had no desire to mess with hers. He just wanted her, straight up, even if it was only for five more days. Right now he couldn’t allow himself to think beyond that, because the reality of their situation left him with an empty feeling in the pit of his gut that he just didn’t want to deal with.
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