Betrothed to the Barbarian. Carol Townend
how much Theodora felt for this small bundle of life. Terrifying and marvellous. When Theodora had learned of her pregnancy, she had had no idea she was capable of such powerful feelings. Martina is mine, I will not let them take her away from me. Death might have broken the bond between Theodora and Prince Peter—nothing would break the bond between Theodora and her child.
Lady Sophia looked at her. ‘It cannot be long until we are back at the Palace, my lady.’ And then, even though she and Theodora were alone in the stark little cell, she lowered her voice. ‘If you want to keep your secret, it is time to decide what you are going to do with her. You can put it off no longer.’
Tears burned at the back of Theodora’s eyes, her heart ached. Sophia spoke the truth, she had hard decisions to make. There was no doubt in Sophia’s mind as to what she ought to do—protocol demanded that Theodora give up her child. Theodora ought to pretend that she and Peter had not created this wonderful, mysterious scrap of humanity.
I cannot do it.
However, there were other reasons why Theodora should give up Martina, reasons known only to her, reasons which outweighed protocol, important though that was.
It might be safer for Martina if I do give her up.
It was a powerful reason, but powerful as it was, Theodora would not do it. There had to be a way to keep Martina safe without losing her. She squared her shoulders and looked directly at her lady-in-waiting. ‘I cannot give her up.’
‘My lady, you must! Think of the consequences if you are found out.’
‘Sophia, I have been thinking of nothing else since we left Dyrrachion. I will not give her up.’
Lady Sophia’s sigh was loud in the quiet. Outside, Theodora could hear the chanting of the monks; she could hear the scream of a gull as it flew over the gorge; she could hear the spring rain hissing on the paving outside the lodge. Several moments passed.
‘Sophia, she’s my daughter!’
‘I understand, but what will you do? Confess you have had a child out of wedlock? An Imperial princess?’
‘I cannot do that.’
‘No.’ Sophia blew out a breath. ‘I suppose you could keep on running. The scouts Captain Brand sent to the City may already have learned if Katerina and Anna arrived safely. You could let Katerina continue the pretence a while longer.’
The pretence. Theodora sighed. She was Princess Theodora Doukaina, but because she had borne a daughter that few people knew about, she had temporarily taken on the guise of a mere lady-in-waiting. Some of her own ladies, already shocked by her pregnancy, had been even more shocked by this pretence. Little did they know. Theodora would take on the guise of a shepherdess if it meant she could keep her daughter.
Sophia tipped her head to one side and looked thoughtfully at her. ‘How long will Katerina and Anna be able to keep up the deception?’
‘If you are trying to rouse my conscience about asking Katerina to take my place for a time, then I must tell you, you are succeeding.’ Theodora reached for Sophia’s hand, she needed the contact. She had been bred to do her duty, but duty had never seemed such a ruthless task master as it did today, guilt was twisting her into knots. ‘I hated asking them to do it, but I wanted more time with Martina and that has not changed. It never will.’
‘What will you do, go into hiding?’
Dread sat heavy in Theodora’s belly. She pushed to her feet and Martina stirred, eyelashes fluttering against sleep-flushed cheeks. That tiny nose is surely the sweetest in the world …
‘It is a tempting idea, but it would be selfish to consider only myself and Martina. I must also consider Katerina, it is not fair to expect her to keep up the pretence indefinitely. Sooner or later she will give herself away. For Katerina’s sake, I must resume my position as Princess Theodora Doukaina—I must return to the Palace.’
‘I am sure that would be best.’ Sophia leaned forward. ‘What will you do? If you admit that Martina is yours, perhaps Duke Niko—’
Theodora cut Sophia off with an imperious jerk of her head. ‘Sophia, I should not have to remind you, that would not be safe for Martina.’
‘What will you do?’
Theodora frowned at the closed door of the guest chamber. There were too many unanswered questions for her to be as decisive as she would like. How long do we have? What has been happening at the Palace? Does Captain Brand suspect …?
‘Have the men in our escort shown any curiosity about Martina?’
‘Why, yes, my lady.’
‘What did you say? Did you claim her as yours?’
‘Mine?’ Sophia’s eyebrows shot up. ‘I am unwed, my lady, so, no, I said nothing of the sort. I told them Martina’s mother had died in childbirth and that one of our maidservants was acting as her wet-nurse.’
Theodora let out a snort. ‘Her mother died in childbirth, eh? Well, it’s certainly true that I am no longer the woman I was.’
Red-cheeked, Sophia hastened to reassure her. ‘I meant no insult, my lady, truly, but I could not claim Martina is mine. If my mother heard rumours … the very thought of me giving birth to an illegitimate child … it would kill her.’
‘And the entire Court would probably ostracise you. Don’t worry, Sophia, I am painfully aware what it is like at Court—the rules, the protocols. I understand.’
‘If you so command, I could pretend Martina is mine,’ Sophia said, doubtfully. ‘It is just that my mother …’
‘We are about to return to the Great Palace and you are willing to assume responsibility for my transgressions? You are very loyal.’ Theodora shook her head. ‘I appreciate your generosity in making such a suggestion, Sophia, but it will not be necessary. If there is any shame to be borne over my daughter’s existence, it is I who must bear it.’ She stared thoughtfully at the whitewashed wall. ‘I am in hopes that we shall be able to avoid shame. Let me think. Take Martina, will you?’
Carefully placing Martina in Sophia’s arms, Theodora went to stand in the shaft of light coming through the window slit. A light breeze played over her cheeks. The stone walls of the building opposite were blurred by rain, the opening was too narrow for her to see much else. After a moment, she turned. ‘Sophia, I like your story about Martina’s mother dying. We shall embroider it a little and with luck I shall be able to convince everyone at the Palace that I am exactly what I ought to be … a dutiful, obedient princess returning home from a vassal state to meet my fiancé.
‘When I resume Princess Theodora’s mantle, we must take pains to ensure that I appear perfect. Pure. Duke Nikolaos must have no idea that I am not the virgin he has been promised.’
Sophia glanced at the infant on her lap. ‘And little Martina? What of her?’
‘Martina shall be the child of a slave who has died in childbirth. Princess Theodora has taken it upon herself to care for her.’ Her smile twisted. ‘That way I may keep her. No one will question her presence in the entourage of an unmarried princess.’
‘Very well, my lady,’ Sophia said, slowly. ‘If you think that will work.’
‘You might look a little more convinced. This will work, it has to. Martina is my life, I cannot give her up.’ Theodora brightened her tone. ‘I shall say I have adopted her. Stranger things than that have happened in the Great Palace, I can assure you.’
‘And the Duke of Larissa? What if he objects? A good princess, a perfect princess, must obey her betrothed.’
Theodora bit her lip. She had almost managed to put Duke Nikolaos of Larissa out of her mind. She had yet to set eyes on the man whom the Emperor had decreed she must marry. ‘If fortune favours me, I shall not meet him for some time.’
Sophia