The Final Falcon Says I Do. Lucy Gordon
me.’
‘No, he didn’t say anything like that. He just lost his nerve.’
‘Oh, please, I know you’re being kind, but this isn’t the moment for kindness. It’s the moment for truth, however brutal. There’s another woman, isn’t there?’
‘Not that I know about,’ he said firmly. ‘But if that were the answer isn’t it better for you to escape him now? If you’d found out after you were married it would have been a bigger disaster.’
‘Would it? Perhaps I might have seen her off. If he’d chosen me over her—’
‘Freya, listen to me. If a man can act like this on the way to his wedding then he’s only interested in himself and you’re better off without him.’
‘Maybe I’ll feel like that one day.’ She sighed. ‘But it’s hard to imagine now. I’ll always remember how it felt to walk down the aisle, looking for Dan, sure that he’d be watching for me. I was so happy—and such a fool. When you came towards us I was delighted to see you. But then—there was nothing but emptiness. I was going to build my life around Dan, and suddenly there’s no life to build. Oh, I’m sorry. I promised I wouldn’t embarrass you.’
‘I’m not embarrassed. Say anything you want to. But listen to me. One life may have vanished, but there’ll be another one—and it will be better.’
She gave a slightly hysterical laugh. ‘You think I should be glad this happened?’
‘Not right now, but in years to come you’ll see that it was for the best that you got rid of him.’
‘But I didn’t. He got rid of me. He threw me aside like a piece of unwanted waste.’
‘You mustn’t think like that. You’re worth a thousand of Dan. How could you ever have thought yourself in love with him?’
‘Because right from the first moment I knew he was going to be special to me. My whole life changed just because he existed. It was as though the world had suddenly opened up. And everything was different—more exciting, more wonderful. When he proposed to me I was sure I’d never be unhappy again.’
Jackson drew a long, hard breath. It would be so simple now to tell her that Dan’s proposal had just been a defiance of Amos. But her heart had already been broken once, and he flinched from the thought of breaking it again.
‘He let you down,’ he growled. ‘He’s not the man you thought him.’
‘And I’m not the woman he really wanted. I can’t hide from that. But I’ll survive—with your help. Thanks for everything today.’ She made a wry face. ‘Even the bits that made me mad at you.’
‘Sorry I had to come on so strong. I didn’t want to pull you around, but—’
‘I didn’t give you any choice, did I? If you’d let me run off down the road—well, where would I be now? I’ll swear you’re the best brother I’ve ever had.’
‘Since you don’t have any brothers I’m not sure how to take that.’
They laughed together, both sounding shaky.
‘And just think of the price you’re going to pay.’ She sighed again. ‘This is going to give Amos ideas again.’
‘About pairing us off, you mean? I guess so, but don’t worry. You have nothing to fear from me.’ He took her hand and assumed a theatrical tone. ‘Freya, I give you my word, nothing will ever make me marry you. Let thunderbolts and lightning descend, I will still declare: Not her. Anyone but her.’
‘Just be sure you say it to Amos and make it convincing.’
‘You too. We’ll have to persuade him that we can’t stand the sight of each other.’
‘I’ll try, but it’ll be hard. Right this minute you look like the nicest man in the world.’
‘That’s a delusion,’ he said self-consciously.
‘If you say so.’
‘I do say so. If you knew what a swine I really am you’d sock me in the jaw.’
‘Another time. Right now I have something else to ask of you.’ She slipped a hand into the jeans pocket and brought out the luscious engagement ring that she had worn until a few hours ago. ‘Will you give that back to Dan, please?’
‘Oh, heavens, now I remember. I’ve still got the other ring.’
He reached into his jacket pocket and took out the wedding ring, laying the two of them side by side on the table.
‘I’ll give these to him as soon as I see him.’
She didn’t reply. She was gazing at the rings as though transfixed. After a moment she brushed a hand over her eyes, but not soon enough to hide the tears.
‘I’m sorry, I just—’
‘You’ve endured enough,’ he said sympathetically. ‘Why don’t you go and lie down? I won’t disturb you. The bedroom’s yours. I’ll sleep out here on the sofa.’
‘Why are you so kind to me?’ she choked.
Because I feel guilty for what I accidentally did to you.
The words thrummed through his head, almost forcing their way out. But he controlled them and escorted her into the bedroom.
‘You’ll find some clean pyjamas in that drawer,’ he said, and hurried out before his conscience overwhelmed him.
Left alone, she sat down on the bed, staring into space, unable to find the strength for anything else. In Jackson’s company, feeling his kindly care, she’d managed to cope. But now she felt as though she was drifting through infinity, in a world in which nothing was real.
She had tried to describe how Dan had made her feel, but there were no words for the sensation of being newly alive that he had given her. For the first time in her life she’d felt valuable to someone. Her relationship with her mother was cordial, but she knew she’d never come first. Janine and her late father had adored each other with an intensity that had made Freya feel like an outsider.
She’d made a life for herself, training as a nurse and passing her exams with honours. She’d had the pleasure of knowing that her parents were proud of her—especially her father, a learned man, who had been delighted that his brains had passed to his daughter. That had to be her consolation for the feeling of having been outside the enchanted circle.
Her loneliness had been intensified when her father died. Mother and daughter had grieved, but not together. Janine had suffered mostly alone, in a place Freya had not been able to touch.
But she was a successful nurse, and life had seemed settled on a conventional path until, two years after her father’s death, her mother had become engaged to the notorious Amos Falcon and she had begun to meet his five sons.
Jackson had been the first, on that evening in the restaurant that he’d mentioned earlier. Their escape to the nearby Chinese restaurant had been merry, but there had been another feeling beneath her laughter. He was handsome, charming, and she wouldn’t have minded if he’d asked her out on a date.
He hadn’t. She had sighed, shrugged, and returned to the young man she’d been dating, but who had suddenly seemed less interesting. They’d drifted apart.
At last there had been the wedding of Janine and Amos in London, and a gathering of the whole family in a hotel the night before. Jackson had greeted her with a cry of, ‘There’s my little sister!’ and enfolded her in a huge hug.
They’d moved away from the others to chat about how their lives were going. That had been before his television career, when he’d still been a newspaper journalist, with a thousand fascinating tales to tell. Freya had listened, promising herself that this time she would attract his interest. She’d already discovered how much he liked