Extreme Measures. Brenda Harlen
was out of sight before she went back inside, then she tiptoed up the stairs to check on her sleeping daughter.
She brushed the soft curls back from her forehead, then pressed a gentle kiss to one rosy cheek. Carly didn’t even stir. Whatever unpleasant dreams had disturbed her slumber earlier had obviously been banished, and she slept deeply now, contentedly.
Of course, she had no idea that her life as she’d always known it was about to change.
Or maybe not.
Colin had been shocked to learn that he had a child; he was furious that Nikki hadn’t told him about their daughter. But maybe, once he had some time to think about it, he’d decide there was no place in his life for a child. Maybe this revelation would inspire him to leave town as unexpectedly as he’d returned—forever this time.
Nikki sighed, knowing in her heart that although Colin’s disappearance might be the easiest solution to the problem, it wasn’t what she wanted for Carly. Despite the emotional scene on her porch, she was glad he’d come back, relieved he finally knew.
There had been so many times over the years when she’d wanted to call him, so many times she’d wanted to share her feelings—her hopes and dreams for their child, so many milestones she’d wished he’d been a part of.
She slipped from the room, closing the door softly behind her, and for the first time since Carly was born, she allowed herself to cry for everything she and Colin had lost. Everything their daughter had missed out on by not having her daddy in her life.
When Arden came home a short while later, Nikki’s tears were finally spent. Her cousin dropped a copy of the Fairweather Gazette on the coffee table before sitting beside Nikki on the sofa. “I guess I don’t have to ask if you’ve seen him.”
Nikki shook her head.
“What happened?”
“He showed up here and Carly decided to make an impromptu appearance.”
Arden winced. “Not the best way he could have found out.”
“I know. And I know you warned me.” For the past five years, Arden had been trying to convince Nikki to contact Colin, to tell him about their daughter.
But she still believed she’d done the right thing.
Colin had made it clear that he’d wanted out of their marriage, he’d wanted to sever the ties that held them together. And a marriage was little more than a piece of paper, a legal institution. A child was flesh and blood, a lifelong responsibility. The last thing Nikki had wanted was to use their baby to try to hold on to him. She’d loved him too much to settle for less than his love in return.
“Are you okay?” Arden asked gently.
She grabbed another tissue and wiped her nose. “This morning, I thought I was in complete control of my life. Then Colin showed up and turned everything upside down.”
“You had to know he’d come back sometime.”
“I used to think he would,” she admitted. “For the first year after he’d gone, every time there was a knock at the door, I was half hopeful, half afraid, that it might be Colin. Then, as the weeks turned into months, and the months into years, I was less certain. With each passing day it became more apparent that he wasn’t coming back, until I’d convinced myself that he never would.”
“But now he has.”
“Yeah.”
“How did he react?”
“He thought…” She hesitated, surprised by how much it hurt to replay Colin’s words in her mind. She could still see the accusation in his eyes, hear the challenge in his voice. “He thought I hadn’t told him because I didn’t know if he was the father.”
“Oh, Nic.” Arden wrapped her arms around her. “You know he didn’t mean that. He’s hurting, and he lashed out. It’s a normal reaction.”
She gave a short, bitter laugh. “There’s nothing normal about this situation.”
“Give him some time.”
Somehow Nikki didn’t think any amount of time would diffuse Colin’s anger. “You have no idea how much I wish I could turn the clock back.”
“He had to be told.”
“I know.” She sighed regretfully. “I just wish I’d actually told him.”
Colin drove for a long time after he’d left Nikki’s house. Although a part of him wished he’d stayed and forced Nikki to give him the answers he needed, another part—maybe the more rational part—recognized that his emotions were running too close to the surface to be able to have a civilized conversation with her right now.
Instead, he got into his car and drove. It was a habit he’d acquired as a teenager—a way of venting steam after one or another blowup with his father—and one that was usually successful in helping him gain perspective on an issue.
Unfortunately, he was sure he could drive all the way to Texas and back and still not gain any perspective in this matter. He tried to sort out his feelings, but everything was so jumbled up inside he didn’t know where to begin. He didn’t know how he felt, how he was supposed to feel in the face of Nikki’s revelation. Mostly, he felt betrayed by the only woman he’d ever trusted with his heart.
It’s been five years. A lot has changed in that time.
Her words echoed in his mind again. She was right. A lot of things had changed—Nikki had changed. The woman he’d known, the woman he’d loved, would never have kept such a secret from him.
He still couldn’t believe she’d had a child and never told him about it.
Not just a child.
Their child.
He winced, remembering the absolute devastation he’d seen in Nikki’s eyes when he’d challenged her about not knowing the child’s paternity. He’d had no right to make such an accusation, no reason to believe she’d ever been unfaithful.
But how could she have done this to him?
Okay, so maybe he wasn’t completely innocent in this scenario. Maybe he shouldn’t have walked away from their marriage. But dammit, it wasn’t as if he’d known she was pregnant.
He scrubbed a hand over his face. Well, now he knew. But he didn’t know what he was going to do about it.
He didn’t know anything about being a father. His own had hardly been a shining example. Richard McIver had dedicated his life to the legal profession and nothing—not the woman he’d married nor the two sons she’d given him—had ever competed with his career. He’d been absent more than he’d been home, and disinterested in his children when he was around.
Now, with no warm-up, no practice, no preparation, Colin was a father.
Oh, hell. Who was he kidding? He was more of a sperm donor than a father. That was the extent of his involvement in his daughter’s life thus far. He knew nothing about her other than her age and her name. He didn’t know her birthday, her favorite color, her favorite toys.
And he didn’t know what she knew about him. What had Nikki told their daughter about her father? How had she explained his absence to their child? Did Carly hate him for not being around? Or did she understand why he hadn’t been part of her life? Did she even want a father, or would his sudden appearance be an unwanted complication?
The unfairness of the situation struck deep. It wasn’t just that he didn’t know anything about his child—he’d never been given a chance to know her. Nikki had deliberately and continuously kept the existence of their daughter a secret for almost five years. Even now, because of a disgruntled player and circumstances out of his control, he might not get a chance to stay in Fairweather long enough to know her.
He thought again of the Gazette and the possibility—remote