The Agent's Surrender. Kimberly Van Meter
wouldn’t be questioning anything now, putting a stain on her reputation. But then, as now, she didn’t trust herself around Holden for too long; he did something to her insides. Too much time around Holden and she started to question too many things, and she couldn’t have that. He put a wrinkle in her life that stubbornly refused to iron out, no matter how hard she pressed. And that just wouldn’t work in the overall scheme of things. Enough of this morose, angst crap. She pushed away from the spray and grabbed the soap. It’s not as if things are going to change.
She’d have to put some ointment on her calves tonight, she realized, twisting her foot in a circular motion and grimacing at the immediate protests in her muscles. That was what she got for trying to show off.
But Holden could handle the challenge, she realized with grudging respect. Most people would’ve quit the minute she upped the pace. A secret part of her was glad he hadn’t. She couldn’t respect a man who couldn’t keep up with her. Did she want Holden’s respect? Why should that play into the equation? Jane had to admit, something about Holden made her want to look twice in his direction. She’d seen plenty of hard bodies during her military career—so much so it was more surprising to see a soft physique—but Holden’s body was carved from granite, all hard planes and razor sinews of strength that made her itch to touch them. Just admitting that to herself sent shameful heat scuttling to her cheeks, and she actually heard her father’s voice in her head ranting about “female hormones” and the pursuant “unstable” nature of all women.
Get a grip, Fallon. Stay focused on the big picture. Protect your reputation in the department and find a way to show Holden he’s wrong about his brother.
She shut off the water and wrapped her towel around her with a grim smile. Sounded like a solid plan. Now get to it.
Fifteen minutes later both Holden and Jane were alone in the conference room ready to work. Despite the fact she’d just run a grueling distance and had just hopped out of the shower, Jane looked impeccable, dressed in a tailored suit and her short, dark hair blown dry and styled. Holden, however, could still feel water dripping down his back from the quick towel off and subsequent dash to the office. Suddenly, he felt disheveled. He shifted in discomfort at the pull of his shirt beneath his suit jacket and took a seat opposite Jane.
She got right to it. “Okay, Holden, here’s your chance. What’s this new evidence you’re talking about?”
Time to come clean. “I lied.” He watched as a storm immediately sprang to life in her eyes. He held his hands up in a conciliatory gesture, hoping to ward off the lightning before she incinerated him where he stood. “I knew that if I said I just had a gut feeling, there’s no way anyone would’ve taken me seriously.”
“You lied?” Her voice registered cold disbelief as she stiffened. Jane skewered him with her gaze, saying in a low whisper, “I knew it.”
“Let me explain,” he started, but she wasn’t interested in his reasons, not that he blamed her. Anyway, he didn’t really care about her opinion of him.
“This only further proves my point,” she said, waving off his attempt. “You are definitely not thinking clearly if you are willing to jeopardize your entire career for a disgraced brother who’d made his own bed.” She rose abruptly. “I’m telling Reed. This farce of an investigation is finished.”
“Wait,” he said, compelling her to stop. “Reed has agreed to let us investigate, to dig a little deeper. What will it hurt to flip over a few more stones?”
“What will it hurt? My credibility. I know it seems crazy to think of someone aside from yourself, but I have a personal interest in seeing this case closed. This was my case and I investigated it to its successful conclusion. Just because you don’t like the outcome doesn’t mean you get to change the ending of the story. With your military background, I’m surprised you would sink this low.”
Maybe he should’ve made something up. But a small voice inside his head had urged him to be truthful. He’d thought maybe if he could convince Jane he was right, she’d be a powerful ally. But now he was thinking that voice was insane and had definitely steered him wrong. Holden recalled another time he’d listened to that little voice and it’d blown up in his face—the time he’d told Jane he loved her and wanted to build a life with her. She couldn’t dump him fast enough. Yeah, when was he going to learn to tell that voice to shut the hell up?
Time for damage control before things went sidewise fast. “I shouldn’t have lied, but look at it from my point of view. I can’t explain to you a twin bond because frankly, I don’t understand it myself. But my brother and I knew each other like we knew ourselves. My brother was involved in something bigger than what we’ve seen. We’ve only scratched the surface of what’s really going on. I know this as strongly as I know that I can’t stand peas.” He shrugged. “It’s an ingrained knowledge. We have a week to figure out what really happened. If you truly believe my brother is guilty, how will giving me that one week to chase down any leads hurt your case? If I’m wrong, I’m wrong. Nothing changes. But if I’m right—and I believe I am—there’s so much more at stake than my brother’s honor.”
“Such as?”
“If someone else was pulling the strings, then the real threat is still out there. And it’s our job to find it and neutralize it.”
Jane frowned. “I did my job, and now you want to come along and tear it apart just to soothe an emotional wound? I’m sorry, but I can’t do that.”
“What if it was one of your brothers?” he asked.
She shook her head. “It wouldn’t be. My brothers would never do anything so rogue. You and I both know that I.D. was on the fringe. Your brother was attracted to that department because of who he was. He was an adrenaline junkie who craved excitement and glory. And I.D. gave it to him. He didn’t care where it came from as long as he got his fix.”
“You didn’t know Miko, so don’t pretend you wrote the book on his character analysis. I’m telling you right now, the man you just described was not my brother. He liked to play the hero, that much is true, and he truly thought he was doing good work. He was doing the jobs that others couldn’t to keep his country safe. I’m sure he was devastated when he found out I.D. had played him false.”
“So devastated he kept putting people in his gun sights and collecting those paychecks?” she mocked. Holden understood she was not buying one red cent of his plea. “You’re spinning your wheels. Your brother screwed up and you’re screwing up by championing a lost cause.”
“A man of my brother’s character would never pull the trigger on himself unless he was forced to,” Holden stated matter-of-factly, ignoring her mockery. “He just wouldn’t. Someone forced his hand. Aren’t you the least bit curious—no, worried—about who is actually calling the shots? I owe it to my brother to figure things out, but you owe it to our country. I know that means something to you. We can’t protect our nation from outside threats if we can’t even identify what threats may reside right in our own house.”
He was reaching her—he could see it in her eyes. “I don’t like your methods,” she finally said, looking as if she’d rather eat rat guts than admit he may have a point, but she wasn’t stupid and that was a point in her favor. “You shouldn’t have lied. Good, bad or indifferent, you should’ve taken your chances with the truth.”
“Maybe. But what’s done is done and I’m not about to apologize. Are you with me or are you going to turn tail and run back to the chief to tattle on me?”
Her lips pressed together in a tight line. She didn’t like being called a tattler. “Fine,” she snapped. “You’ve got one week. If at the end of the week we don’t have anything substantial to go on, we’re closing this case and I never want to hear about it again. Am I clear?”
“Crystal.”