After the Silence. Rula Sinara
smiling but gave Ben an inquisitive look.
“I don’t have a guest room. There’s an inflated mattress in Chad’s room he’s taken to. The novelty will wear off soon. I’m sorry it’s not a real bed.”
“It’s no problem.” She leaned her arms on her lap and brought her face closer to Chad’s level. “I think your bed is special just for you, but I don’t mind if you want to take naps on mine in the afternoons.”
“Good luck with that.” Ben chuckled. Her smile widened. She had a really nice smile.
“Are you living with us because my mommy’s body broke?” Chad asked.
Ben’s chest cramped. Hope’s smile faded, and the corners of her eyes creased in sympathy.
“I’m only visiting for a while and helping out because everyone who lives in a house should help out. Right?” Chad grimaced. If she got him to nap and help out more with his own cleanup, she’d be a miracle worker, Ben thought. “And then I’ll go back to my home on the other side of the world,” she said.
Ben nodded and knelt down by Chad. He appreciated that Hope had set the stage, making sure his son knew she’d be leaving. In a planned way. Not unexpected, the way their mom left. The idea of his kids actually getting attached to her hadn’t crossed his mind when her visit was arranged. It was just a few months. But what if they did grow to like her and then lost her? He cursed to himself. Given the new situation, he realized that he really did need to find a new therapist for Maddie.
“Is that where my mommy is? Are you going to trade places again, so my mommy will come back from the other side of the world?”
Hope pressed her fingers against her lips, and her eyes glistened.
“I’m sorry. I said the wrong thing,” she said, shaking her head at Ben.
“No, it’s not you,” he said. God knew, Chad had a way of turning anything Ben said upside down, inside out and backward. He’d been told and had read on the internet about how kids Chad’s age and younger perceived death. How literal they were about everything. Chad often asked when Zoe would be coming back, a question that upset Maddie every time. Ben had started keeping a doorknob pick on his dresser after she began locking her bedroom door when Chad wouldn’t stop asking about their mom.
He ruffled Chad’s hair.
“Hey, buddy. Remember that I told you mommy’s not coming back? She’s not on the other side of the world. She died and went to heaven.”
Chad’s shoulders rose and sank. “Okay. Can I have some pizza? Grandma said it would conti-paste me, even if I pooed the size of a dinosaur when you were gone.”
“Then, I’d say you earned a piece. Grab a seat. You can have a slice, then it’s bedtime.”
Hope’s lips parted as Chad climbed onto the chair next to hers. She was either speechless at how fast Chad switched gears or afraid to say anything more to the kid.
“Let me help you with the pizza,” she said.
“I’m assuming you’d prefer hot soup. Especially after freezing out there. Nina is a great cook. I’m sure it’s excellent. And healthy. So don’t let the fact that we’re eating pizza sway you,” he said, pulling two pizza boxes out of the fridge. He didn’t mind cold pizza for breakfast, but this was dinner. He wanted them hot. He opened a cabinet and grabbed a microwaveable dish.
“My parents always insist on home cooking. It’s probably why I suffer from fast-food rebellion. And for the first time, my parents are too far to hover.” Hope stood at the end of the counter, sucking in her lower lip and gazing at the slices he was placing on a dish.
“You want pizza?” he asked. She was around twenty-five, wasn’t she? And her parents still hovered? His mom had never had time to hover, though he imagined that Zoe’s parents probably had.
Hope crinkled her nose. “I just traveled clear across the planet. Doesn’t that count for earning it?” she said, winking at Chad. “I love pizza. You wouldn’t deny me my first slice on American soil, would you?”
Ben grinned. “You can have as much as you want.”
He took the pot on the stove and popped it into the fridge, then started the microwave.
“I’m going to check on Maddie. Help yourself when it’s ready, just make sure it’s not too hot before Chad digs in,” Ben said.
The bathroom door was ajar, and the light was off in it. He knocked on Maddie’s door. No answer.
“Hey, Mads. There’s pizza if you want. I’m coming in, okay?” He tried giving her privacy, since she was a girl, but sometimes it was tough not knowing whether to let himself in or not. He opened the door slowly, giving her time to shove the door shut if she was dressing. “Mads?”
She was already in bed with her eyes closed. Her bedside lamp was on, but he knew she didn’t like the room totally dark. He touched her forehead. It felt okay. He walked over to her closet, turned the light on, then left its door open. He clicked the lamp off so the light wouldn’t be on her face all night. Homework done or not, he was going to let her stay home tomorrow.
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