Fugitive at Large. Sandra Robbins
so many changes in his life? Wouldn’t that have been easier?”
“I thought about it. Unfortunately, the neighborhood had gone down a lot, and Jamie had started hanging out with a rough crowd. It was only a matter of time until he got into trouble. Dad had bought a new house out east of town right before he and Mom were killed in that wreck. He wanted to give Jamie a new start in another school. When I found myself as Jamie’s guardian, I thought we could live in my apartment since it was in a better neighborhood, but Jamie was unhappy there. He did everything he could to defy me. I couldn’t figure out how to make him understand I loved him and only wanted to help him. Out of desperation we finally moved to the house that Dad had bought. It turned out to be the best thing for Jamie. He made new friends and settled down.”
“Why didn’t you tell me all this?”
He shrugged. “Because it was my problem, not yours.”
“But, Ryan,” Jessica said, “I would have helped you.”
Ryan shook his head. “I didn’t want that. I was scared to death. Scared I couldn’t get Jamie straightened out. And scared I couldn’t be the kind of man you deserved in your life.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“You have a great family, Jessica. Your brothers aren’t afraid to tackle anything, and you’re just like them. I knew you had high expectations for the guy you would marry, and my mind was in such turmoil that I knew I couldn’t give you what you needed.”
“Ryan, you were wrong.”
He paused and closed his eyes for a moment, then took a deep breath. “Maybe so, but I wasn’t thinking straight, and I found myself making mistakes on the job. And I couldn’t forget how my last partner had died.”
Jessica leaned forward and stared at Ryan. “You’re still blaming yourself for Al Stevenson’s death? It wasn’t your fault that he was killed.”
Ryan pushed to his feet and gritted his teeth. “He was my partner. If I’d been covering him like I should have, that drug dealer never would have gotten the drop on him.”
Jessica rose to her feet and shook her head. “You’re wrong, Ryan. I read the reports. Nobody blamed you for what happened. If he had waited for backup instead of leaving you to guard the front of the building and going in alone after a crazy killer, he might be alive today.”
“I blamed myself,” he said. “I still do.”
“But that’s ridiculous.”
Ryan’s hands were shaking, and he shoved them in his pockets. “It’s not ridiculous. At the time, I was an emotional mess. I was still dealing with my guilt about Al’s death when my parents died and I found myself the sole guardian of a troubled teenager. I began to question whether or not I should even stay in police work. But most of all, I didn’t want you to get hurt.”
Her eyes grew wide. “I don’t understand.”
“I didn’t want you ending up like Al. Dead because I’d made another mistake. I couldn’t have lived with that.”
Jessica looked at him intently. She clasped her hands and squeezed until her knuckles turned white. Finally she spoke. “Oh, Ryan, I’m so sorry. I never knew how much you suffered because of Al’s death. I wish I could have helped you with that. In time you’ll come to see it wasn’t your fault.”
“I doubt if that time will ever come.” After a moment, he took a deep breath. “That’s all I wanted to tell you tonight. I didn’t want to go another day with you thinking I’d stabbed you in the back to get you taken off the case we were working on. I didn’t do it, Jessica. Please believe me. I’ve come to realize I missed out on the best thing I could have had in my life when I pushed you away. I know it’s too late now to go back. But whatever I did at the time, I thought it was for your benefit. I hope in time you can come to forgive me.”
“You’ve given me a lot to think about, but I still have questions.”
“Maybe I can answer them. But I think that’s enough soul baring for tonight. I need to get out of here and let you get some rest. It’s been a hard day.”
“Yes, it has. Perhaps we can get together sometime.”
“That sounds like a brush-off to me.” He exhaled a long breath and shook his head. “Listen, I won’t bother you again, but I’d like to hear from you after you think about what I’ve said. Give me a call.”
She opened her mouth to respond, but before she could, his cell phone rang. He pulled it from his pocket and stared at the caller ID. “Jamie’s calling,” he said. “I’d better take this.”
He connected to the call and pressed the phone to his ear. “Hi, Jamie.”
“Ryan, where are you?”
Jamie’s words vibrated in his ear, and he frowned at what he thought sounded like anxiety. “I’m at Jessica’s apartment. What’s the matter?”
“I wanted to let you know I have to go out of town for a few days.”
Ryan clutched the cell phone tighter. “Out of town? Where are you going?”
“I think it’s better that you don’t know. I’ll call in a few days and let you know how I’m doing.”
“Jamie,” Ryan almost yelled into the phone. “What’s going on? You can’t leave town. You need to come down to headquarters in the morning and look at mug shots. Besides, you barely escaped being killed today. You need time to come to grips with what happened.”
“Don’t worry, Ryan. I’ll be all right.”
“Jamie!” Ryan yelled. “Jamie!”
But it was no use. His brother had disconnected the call. Still holding the phone, Ryan let his arm drift down to his side.
“Jamie’s going out of town?” Jessica asked.
Ryan nodded. “That’s what he said.”
“But why?”
“I don’t know. He wouldn’t tell me. He said it was better if I didn’t know.”
He slipped the cell phone back in his pocket and turned to Jessica. “Thanks for seeing me. I think I’ll—” He stopped midsentence when he saw the look on Jessica’s face. Her eyes were wide and her face had turned as pale as a harvest moon. He reached out and grasped her arm. “What’s the matter?”
A shiver ripped through her body, and she took a deep, shaky breath. “Call him back, Ryan,” she said with urgency in her tone. “Tell him not to go. He needs to stay where you can keep an eye on him.”
Her face had grown whiter, and a terrified look now gleamed in her eyes. He leaned closer to her. “Why?”
Her tongue licked at her lips, and in that moment he remembered how she always looked when she had suddenly unearthed a piece of evidence in a case.
“Ever since I left the store, something hasn’t seemed right about what went down there. I’ve racked my brain trying to figure out what was bothering me, and now I understand what I was missing.”
“Understand what, Jessica?”
“I didn’t witness a robbery this afternoon. It was an attempted murder of your brother.”
Jessica flinched at the shocked look on Ryan’s face. He blinked at her and shook his head before he spoke. “What are you talking about? Why would anyone want to kill my brother?”
“I don’t know, but now that I put everything together, it all makes sense.”
He reached out and wrapped his fingers