The Heart of Grace. Линда Гуднайт
he said, “We’re getting a divorce. I’m not coming home.”
“I don’t want a divorce, Drew, and you’re in no condition at this point to pursue it.”
He hardened his heart and his voice, saying as coldly as possible, “It’s happening. Get used to it.”
Her shimmering tears spilled over then and nearly killed him. Against his own will, he reclaimed her hand.
“Hey, don’t do that. I’m not worth crying over.”
Face sad, she leaned in and laid her head on his chest. He was sure his heart would explode.
“My ribs,” he said, using the injury as an excuse, although her touch made him better instead of worse.
She jerked upright, all concern and contrition. “Oh, sweetheart, I’m sorry. I didn’t think. Should I call the nurse?”
Her hands fluttered above him, afraid to touch but needing to comfort. A born nurturer, Larissa’s sweet concern was getting to him fast.
Before he became a blubbering idiot, he said, “I don’t need a nurse. I need you to leave.” He dragged in a painful breath. “Go home to Tulsa and forget me.”
“I can’t. I won’t.”
“Sure you will. Marry some great guy and be happy.”
“I married a great guy, and I was happy.”
He turned his face away. If he looked into those suffering eyes much longer, he’d be lost.
“I’m not leaving, Drew,” she said gently. “And there really isn’t anything you can do about that.”
He squelched the grudging admiration for his smart wife. In his pitiful condition, he couldn’t do much physically, but he knew how to make her miserable enough to leave. Oh yeah. He knew how to make other people miserable. That seemed to be his specialty. He squeezed down hard on the metal fish in his opposite hand.
Inside, he whispered, God, if you care about her, make her go away.
Not that he believed, but Larissa did. And if God was a good God, He’d know Drew was the worst possible choice of husbands for a wealthy socialite whose daddy was a squeaky-clean politician. She was a sweet, loving Christian who had too much to lose by staying hooked up with the likes of him.
But how could he make her go away without being cruel? Her inability to accept the inevitable was exactly why he’d planned to never see her again.
“We’ll talk about this later,” she said, her voice soft and shaky in the quiet. “Tell me about the accident.”
“Accidents are not intentional.”
“You know what I mean. What happened over there?”
He noticed how smoothly she’d sidestepped his demand that she leave him alone. All right then. He’d talk, tell her what she needed to know, and then try again to make her see reason. Right now, his head hurt too much to formulate a battle plan against a smart cookie like Larissa.
He related most of what he could remember, omitting that last horrible experience of flying away from the jeep. He hadn’t asked but figured he knew what happened to the rest of the convoy. Not knowing was the better option at this point. He wasn’t sure he could handle the truth right now.
“I guess I’m lucky to be alive.” A little part of him was scared about that, even though the practical portion thought the world would be better off without him. What if he’d died? Where would he be right now? A near-death experience made a man wonder about things like Heaven and Hell and eternity.
“It’s more than luck, Drew.”
“Still praying for me?” He knew she was. Every time they spoke on the telephone, even that last time, she ended the call with the same words, “I’m praying for you, Drew.”
When she’d first gotten into the religion-thing, he’d thought church was a nice, wholesome hobby to keep her occupied while he was away. But Larissa took her newfound faith very seriously, and he’d noticed the change in her.
“Constantly,” she whispered. And one look at her face told him it was true. She was probably praying this very moment. The idea both comforted and disturbed.
Did God even care about a sewer rat like him? If He did, why had life been so ugly? Why was he so filled with garbage that he tainted everything he touched, even his marriage?
But this was where the tainting ended. He’d hurt Larissa enough. He wouldn’t damage her more.
“Thanks,” he said.
She didn’t answer, just sat there looking beautiful and uncertain. He felt like a jerk of the grandest order. The woman who was comfortable with senators and billionaires didn’t know what to say or how to act, all because of him.
That he’d ever managed to win her love in the first place still amazed him. He, a nobody from nowhere, had won the heart of the sweetest, kindest, most beautiful girl in Tulsa society. He didn’t fit with her kind at all, and they had let him know. Especially her parents.
“I guess your mother and dad were happy to hear about the divorce.” The bitterness in his tone surprised even him.
She stared at him, lost for a minute. He was lost, too, his brain tumbling from one topic to the next. The only thing he could think of for very long was the pain in his body and the worse one in his heart.
“Mother and Dad don’t run my life.”
That was a laugh. She worked for her father, and couldn’t say no to her spoiled, whining mother. In the more than three years that he’d known the Stone family, Drew had never done one thing that pleased them. Mostly, he didn’t care.
But he did care about Larissa, and the estrangement brought her sorrow.
He’d do anything for Larissa. That’s why he had to do this. “I’m tired. Maybe you should leave now.”
She stared down at him, biting her bottom lip. “Go ahead and sleep. I’ll just sit here beside you.”
She wasn’t making this easy.
“Go home.”
“Not until I can take you with me.”
The crashing in his temples grew louder.
“Get this straight, Larissa. I don’t want to come home with you. Not now. Not ever.”
“You have nowhere else to go.”
That hurt. “Sure, I do.”
“Where? What else can you do except come home to Tulsa?”
“Rehab. One of those in-patient places. I already talked to the docs.” Not quite the truth, but close enough.
“Don’t be ridiculous. We have a huge house. I can hire nurses or whatever you need. I can take better care of you than some impersonal rehab facility.”
She reached out again, and he shrunk away. If she touched him, he’d lose his courage. With superhuman determination, he stared straight into her movie-star eyes and said, “Let me be clear about this. I can’t stand to be in the same house with you anymore. Now, get out and leave me alone.”
Abruptly, he closed his eyes and rolled his head to the side.
But not before he saw the stricken expression on his beloved’s face.
Chapter Three
Larissa tossed a tiny Gucci bag onto a chair and collapsed on the bed at the nearest hotel. Fat raindrops, like tears, ran in rivulets down the window.
She was too exhausted for tears of her own. Emotionally and physically, she’d gone about as far as she could for now.
The meeting with Drew had been harder than she’d