Caroselli's Christmas Baby. Michelle Celmer
things between them from changing, they already had.
Three
Though she had hoped getting a good night’s sleep would make things clearer, Terri tossed and turned all night, then woke the next morning feeling just as confused as she had been when Nick had dropped her at home.
She didn’t want their relationship to change. But what she realized last night while he drove her home was that it already had changed, and it was too late to go back. They had opened a door, and there would be no closing it again until they both stepped through. Unfortunately, she had no idea what was waiting on the other side.
After a long and unproductive workday spent wondering what to do next, how they could pull this off without killing their friendship—if they hadn’t already—she realized that she’d made her decision last night in his office. She’d just been too afraid to admit it. Not only to him, but to herself. Which was what led her to his apartment this evening. He hadn’t tried to contact her all day, by phone or even email, meaning that he was smart enough to realize she needed time to work this through on her own. He was always there when she needed him, but he also knew when she needed space. She realized it said an awful lot about their relationship.
He opened the door dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, with a chef’s apron tied around his waist and smudged with what looked like chocolate batter. The scent of something sweet and delicious reached out into the hallway to greet her.
“Hey,” he said, looking not at all surprised to see her.
“Can we talk?”
“Of course.” He stepped aside to let her in, and she gazed around the high-rise apartment that would be home for the next nine months or so. It was painted in rich, masculine hues, yet it still managed to feel warm and homey, in large part due to the casual-comfy furnishings and the dozens of framed family photos throughout the space.
Nick may have had an aversion to marriage, but when it came to his family, he couldn’t be more devoted. She was also happy to see that most of the clutter that had been there last week was gone.
“Come on into the kitchen,” he said. “I’m trying a new cake recipe.”
A culinary genius, he spent much of his free time cooking and baking. He’d often said that if it wasn’t for Caroselli Chocolate, he would have opened his own restaurant, but he would never leave the family business.
On her way through the living room, Terri dropped her purse and coat on the sofa, then followed Nick into his state-of-the-art kitchen, half of which she wouldn’t have the first clue how to use. Nor did she have the desire to learn.
“Whatever it is, it smells delicious,” she told Nick as she took a seat on one of the three bar stools at the island.
“Triple chocolate fudge,” he said. “Jess wants me to make something special for Angie’s birthday party next Saturday.”
“She’ll be eleven, right?”
“Twelve.”
“Really? Wow. I remember when she was born, how excited you were to be an uncle. It doesn’t seem like twelve years ago.”
“It goes by fast,” he said, checking the contents of one of the three top-of-the-line wall ovens. Then he untied the apron and draped it over the oven door handle—where it would probably remain until someone else put it in the broom closet where it belonged. He leaned against the edge of the granite countertop, folded his arms and asked, “So, enough of the small talk. What’s up?”
That was Nick, always getting right to the point. “First, I want to apologize for the way I acted last night. You just … surprised me.”
“It’s okay. You were a little overwhelmed. I get it.”
“But I’ve been giving it a lot of thought. In fact, it’s about the only thing I can think about, and I just have one more question.”
“Shoot.”
“If we do this, if we make the baby the old-fashioned way, can you promise me that afterward things will go back to the way they were? That nothing will change?”
“No. I can’t promise that.”
She sighed. Did he have to be so damned honest? Couldn’t he just humor her into thinking she was making the right choice? But that wasn’t Nick. He was a straight shooter, and the only time he sugarcoated was in the kitchen.
“The best I can do is promise you that I’ll always be there for you,” he said. “We’ll always be friends. Whether we use a doctor or do this conventionally, we’re going to have a child together. That alone is bound to change things.”
He was right, of course. She’d been so focused on the idea of how sleeping together would affect their relationship, that she hadn’t truly grasped the enormity of having a child together. She’d wanted a baby so badly, she hadn’t let herself fully consider the consequences. She realized now that everything would change. The question was, would it be a good change?
“I guess I didn’t think this through completely,” she told Nick. “Big surprise, right?”
“And now that you have?”
It scared her half to death. She’d been friends with Nick longer than anyone. Longer than she knew her own father. “I’m still hopelessly confused.”
“Then we aren’t going to do it. You can stick to your original plan and use a donor.”
“And what will you do?” The idea of him entering a fake marriage with someone else, having a baby with her, left a knot in her belly.
“I won’t do anything,” he said.
“What do you mean?”
“I’ll admit, I was sort of excited about the idea of having a baby, but only because I would be having it with you.”
“But, what about the money?”
“Terri, our friendship means more to me than any sum of money.”
She was too stunned to speak.
Nick laughed. “Why do you look so surprised?”
“It’s just … I think that’s probably the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.”
“I didn’t say it to be nice. I said it because it’s the truth.”
And she felt ashamed that she hadn’t trusted him, that she never realized just how much her friendship meant to him. “Let’s do it,” she said. “Let’s have a baby.”
Now he was the one who looked surprised. “Maybe you should take a little more time to consider this.”
“I don’t need more time.”
“Are you sure?”
She couldn’t recall ever feeling more sure about anything in her entire life. She didn’t know why exactly. She just knew. “I want to do this.”
“The wedding, the baby, moving in with me. Everything?”
“Everything.”
“I guess the only question now is, how soon can we get started?” he asked.
“Well, I’m due to ovulate in two weeks, give or take a day or two. I’d rather not wait another month. The sooner I get pregnant, the better.”
“The question is, can we plan a wedding in fourteen days?”
“I guess it depends on the kind of wedding you want.”
“I would be happy to do this in front of a judge with a couple witnesses.”
“That works for me,” she said. Terri hadn’t spent her adolescence dreaming of and planning her wedding. And why drop a lot of money on a marriage that was guaranteed to end