The Baby Gamble. Tara Taylor Quinn
It would be indicative of some pretty severe emotional struggles, if nothing else. But it was still treatable.
She’d watched Becky work a car accident one time on the side of the road; they’d passed just after the crash occurred, and had stopped to see if they could help. One young man had died, but Becky had saved the life of another.
And she’d never shed a tear.
“So what’s really wrong?”
Becky looked up, and her eyes filled with fresh tears.
“I just saw Luke coming out of the grocery store. I wanted yogurt for lunch.”
Damn. “They don’t have yogurt in the cafeteria?”
“Not strawberry banana.”
“Did he say something?” Annie asked gently. Becky was the most loving person she’d ever known. Luke’s leaving town to join the army sixteen years before, walking out on Becky and their love affair so abruptly, without a backward glance, had nearly destroyed her friend. And just as abruptly, a month ago, he’d returned to town.
“No…” Becky’s voice trailed off. “I didn’t give him a chance.”
“Do you think he saw you?”
“He looked straight at me.” Becky’s lips trembled. “I can’t believe this, Annie,” she said with a deep shudder. “I got over Luke Chisum years ago. I want nothing to do with him. And still, seeing him out of the blue like that, I turn to mush.”
Annie wanted to believe that a girl could get over her first love. Even if he had been the knight-in-shining-armor kind.
“It’s just that, seeing him up close…”
Remembering her first sight of Blake, two years before, when he’d stepped off that plane, Annie felt her own throat tighten. “Aw, hon.” She hated seeing her friend hurt. “I’m sorry.”
Becky sniffled and blew her nose.
“It gets easier,” Annie murmured, though she wasn’t as certain of that this morning as she might have been the day before.
Becky nodded. “It has to, doesn’t it?”
Annie sure as hell hoped so.
“He’s got this tiny scar by his left eye….”
“From the helicopter crash?”
“I don’t know, but probably. It’s still a little pink, so it has to be fresh.” She paused, glanced out the windshield and then looked back at Annie, her eyes filled with tenderness —and pain. “I just can’t stop thinking about him over there in Iraq, about all the things we hear about that place. About the crash. What if he’d been taken hostage?”
Grabbing her friend’s hand, Annie gave it a squeeze. “Don’t let those demons get you, Bec,” she said. “You’ll drive yourself crazy.”
And Annie, more than most, knew the truth of this. “Cole says he’s fine,” she continued. “Still the same old joking-around Luke.”
“All that joking covers a lot.”
Annie didn’t doubt it. Luke Chisum had been home only a month and already he was taking his father to therapy, doing everything he could to make his mother’s life easier, doing his share at the family ranch—in spite of an older brother who treated him with open hostility every chance he got.
“Still, other than some color blindness due to damage to the optic nerve, he seems to have completely recovered.”
Becky tried to smile. And failed. “Do you know how long he was at Walter Reed?”
The amount of time he’d spent in the veterans’ hospital would give a medical professional like Becky a fairly good idea of the extent of Luke’s injuries.
“I don’t.” Annie hesitated, thought and then continued, “I know that he got a medical discharge, though. With his vision the way it is, he wouldn’t meet army regulations.”
“I wondered,” Becky said, and looked at Annie again. “He’s back for good, isn’t he?”
“Cole thinks so.”
“Think he’ll let me just go on not speaking to him for the rest of our lives?” Becky’s attempt at a smile was a bit more successful that time.
Annie tilted her head, trying to assess her friend. “You want him to?”
“Depends on the day.”
Annie understood that completely.
“SO TELL ME ABOUT LAST night.” Becky was calm once more, her capable, reliable self as she turned the tables on Annie.
Glancing at her watch, Annie asked, “Don’t you have to get back?”
“I’m working at the clinic this afternoon. I have another hour before I have to be there.”
“Did you get that yogurt you were after?”
Becky grimaced and shook her head. “I was on my way in when I saw Luke. So I turned around and came back here.”
Annie had figured as much. “Why don’t we load the bike up and go to my place? I’ll make us some tuna salad and we can talk.”
SHE ADDED PICKLES and onion to the tuna, put a plate of thin wheat crackers on the table, and they nibbled as Annie relayed, almost word for word, the scene between her and Blake the night before.
“Do you think I’m crazy?” she asked her friend as her story came to its end.
“Not at all.” Becky didn’t hesitate. “The world has changed so much in the past five years,” she said. “Not only has it become common for women to assume challenging roles in the workplace, we’re learning that we have all kinds of personal strengths we didn’t realize we had. Society, as a whole, is also more focused on getting the most out of life. Going after what we want. And you’re a product of that.”
“I live in a tiny town in Texas, in the middle of nowhere,” Annie reminded her.
“With the Internet, no place is in the middle of nowhere anymore.”
Annie knew she’d needed to talk to Becky. Her friend had always had a way of making sense of the world, most particularly when Annie couldn’t seem to do so herself.
“I wrote in my column this morning about being honest,” she said, thinking aloud. “And the one thought I kept coming back to was how badly I want this baby. I mean, I get a little scared sometimes, when I think of raising a child all alone, but mostly I just feel peaceful about the idea. I’m so sure this is the right step for me.”
“Not that it matters,” Becky said, laying a hand on top of Annie’s, “but I think so, too.”
“You do?”
“Yeah.”
“You’ve never said so.”
“I didn’t want to encourage you, in case you weren’t sure.”
“So what makes you say so now?”
“It meant so much to you that you were willing to risk the pain of seeing Blake again—even knowing that he’d say no.”
Annie was tempted to say nothing. But this was Becky.
“He didn’t actually say no yet.” It meant nothing. “I think he has to at least give the appearance of considering the idea, because of his friendship with Cole.”
Damn Cole for putting her—and Blake—in this position. As much as she adored her younger brother, there were times when his stubborn refusal to accept that she and Blake were over grated on her nerves.
Becky was staring at her. “Blake didn’t say no?”
“Not