The Keysha Diaries, Volume One. Earl Sewell
stopped running, I was a good four blocks away. I decided to rest on a bus bench so I could catch my breath. I leaned forward and rested my elbows on my thighs as I waited for my breathing to regulate. For a moment, I thought about crying but I couldn’t summon up any tears because I was too angry. My life was so messed up. I swear, sometimes I wondered if some mythical witch or wizard placed a curse on me. I swept my fingers through my hair as I mulled over my situation. My mother, Justine, was crazy as well as pregnant. I had to admit that it tripped me out when she admitted she was going to have a baby. Justine is a real piece of work. In fact, her brain should probably be donated to science because her thought process is completely twisted. My mom became pregnant with me when she was very young. She acts more like my girlfriend than my mom. She cares more about partying than she does about keeping a roof over our heads, a decent job or food on the table. Sometimes, well most times, we fought and argued with one another. I didn’t like her because she didn’t act her age and in some ways resented the day I was born. At least that’s the way I felt.
A bus stopped in front of me, and the driver opened the door thinking that I wanted to get on. I looked at him for a moment and then waved him on. I sat upright on the bench and glanced at the green and white street sign. I was at the corner of Chicago and Laramie Avenues, which meant that I was in the heart of the hood. My mom and I were staying in a basement apartment a few blocks up. I hated the place. It was run-down, dirty and infested with roaches and rats. It was nothing like my Aunt Estelle’s home. She had a beautiful high-rise apartment overlooking Lake Michigan. I used to live there with her husband, Dr. Richard Vincent, my Grandmother Rubylee and my cousin Nathan. It was nice living in such a grand place, but that all changed because my Grandmother Rubylee, who was crazier than my mom, was stealing money out of Richard’s bank account. She got caught by the police and is serving time for her crime. Shortly after my Grandmother Rubylee was arrested, my Aunt Estelle passed away, and that pretty much ended the welcome of Justine and me in Dr. Vincent’s home. All of that happened about two months ago, right around the time I caught Ronnie at the movie theater with some girl.
* * *
I decided it was time to get up off the bus bench before I started to look like a female version of Forrest Gump. As I continued on my way home, I thought about school, which would be starting soon, but I wasn’t looking forward to it, especially since my mother didn’t have money for back-to-school gear. I knew kids were going to talk about me walking around in last year’s fashions. I was real self-conscious when it came to fashion and my appearance. My face was filled with pimples and my hair was overprocessed from doing one too many home perms. I thought my nose was too big, my butt was too big, my breasts were too small and my legs were too skinny. I was thinking about my situation and self-image so hard that I actually walked past my apartment building and had to turn around and go back. The building was a large red brick structure with three separate entrances. I had to walk down the block a little ways to the very last entrance, which was near an alley and vacant lot where alley mechanics liked to park their hoopty-mobiles and work on them while they drank alcohol. If they couldn’t get their cars running they’d just leave them there until they could. From time to time, if the cars sat too long, eventually parts would come up missing. The entrance to my building wasn’t secure at all. The landlord got tired of putting locks on the doors because tenants or their guests continually kicked in the door to gain entrance. I think people did that sort of thing because they didn’t have much else to do. I was about to enter the vestibule of the building when I heard someone call my name.
“Keysha, hold on a minute.” I stepped back out into the sunlight and saw Toya Taylor, a friend that I’d known for years. She lived in the apartment across the hall from me. Toya had a baby she was continually trying to get neighbors to watch for her while she roamed the streets trying to keep up with her baby’s daddy. Toya is sixteen but the father of her baby is a few years older than her. Toya was also rather conceited when it came to her hair. She was one of those girls who had a finer grade of hair as opposed to a coarser grade. She loved to show it off and brag about its length. Today for some reason, she wasn’t in the mood to show off her hair because she had it tied up in a black head scarf.
“Hey, what’s up? Why do you have on that head scarf? It’s hot as hell out here.” I was being nosy. I wanted to know what was going on with her hair.
“Girl, my baby’s daddy is tripping. He doesn’t like for me to be outside by myself with my hair down so he makes me tie it up when I’m not around him.”
“Well, if it makes him happy then I guess it is okay,” I said, even though I didn’t believe her for one minute. I think she did something to her hair and now it’s messed up and she doesn’t want to get ridiculed for having damaged it.
“Where have you been? I came over looking for you this morning but you weren’t home.”
“Girl, I got into a fight with Ronnie,” I said as I sat down on the step. Toya sat beside me.
“What about? You told him that you wanted to give him a chance to explain himself, right?”
“Yeah, I told him, but it didn’t matter. He still treated me like I was a fly at a picnic. I got so mad at him that I pulled out a patch of his hair.”
“For real?” Toya’s voice was now filled with excitement. “What happened next?” she asked, wanting to know every detail.
“His mother came out into the hallway where we were,” I said as I scratched my arm.
“You fought his mother, too?” Toya asked, jumping ahead of my story.
“No. I didn’t fight his mother. When I saw her I turned and ran out of the building.”
“So, are you sad about the breakup?” Toya asked. “Because if my baby’s daddy broke up with me, it would be on. I’d have to hurt him.” I wanted to point out the fact that I’d heard that her so-called man had another girl he was dealing with, but I didn’t want to go there with her. I just wasn’t in the mood to fight with anyone else right then.
“So, what’s next? What are you going to do? You’ve got to find a new man.”
“Girl, I’m not thinking about boys right now. I’m thinking about school and trying to get through another year.” I glanced up at a few billowy clouds and then down at my feet. My gym shoes had seen better days.
“I think I’m going to drop out of school,” said Toya.
“Why do you want to drop out of school?” I asked, looking at her strangely.
“I can’t find anyone to watch my baby. Do you know they want, like, eight hundred dollars a month to take care of my baby? I don’t have that type of money. That’s why I was really hoping that you were pregnant because we could’ve helped each other out. Maybe we could have gone to school part-time or something. While I was in class you could have babysat for me and vice versa. Our kids would’ve grown up together and been very close.”
“You know, at first I wanted to be the mother of Ronnie’s child because I thought it would bring Ronnie and me closer but now I don’t. Especially after what happened today.”
“Even if Ronnie wasn’t around, you would’ve had me and we would’ve been close,” Toya said but that didn’t make me feel any better. Besides, I’m not sure if I would’ve ever left my baby with Toya. I mean, she did okay with her little boy, but I think caring for him was much more than she bargained for.
“So what are you going to do if you drop out?” I asked.
“I don’t know. Probably sit around, play cards and collect a government check. I wouldn’t have to worry about teachers or homework or anything. All I’d have to do is chill out.” Toya began to bite her fingernails.
“Don’t you think you’ll get bored? Don’t you want to make money and live in a big house, drive a nice car and have enough money to buy yourself some serious bling?” I asked.
“Girl, that’s what a man is for. My boo is going to take care of me,” she stated as if her life plan was rock solid. In her mind Toya had it all figured out.