The Keysha Diaries, Volume One. Earl Sewell

      five

      My stomach was doing flips during the entire journey back home. I was nervous, afraid and confused. I placed my elbows on my knees and my face in my hands and tried to think. I wanted to cry but I didn’t. I was trying to figure out how Toya got caught. Everything was going so well. We’d moved in and out of stores without any problems. No merchandise alarms went off, and I know Toya was extra careful by making sure she was out of the sight range of the video cameras.

      When I arrived home I found a big red notice stuck to our front door. It was an eviction notice. My mom and I had three days to either pay the rent or be set outdoors. Oh, God, not again, I thought to myself as I entered the apartment. I walked directly over to my sofa, rested my head on one of the cushions and went to sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night. My mother still hadn’t come home, and I needed someone to talk to. The first person who came to mind was my ex-boyfriend, Ronnie. Even though I hadn’t spoken to him in a while, I decided to call him hoping he’d be nice to me and listen to my problems. I gathered up some spare change and walked out of the apartment and onto the stoop. When I stepped out into the darkness I noticed that there were people just hanging out. Across the street, there was a group of kids I didn’t know listening to music and dancing. To my right, there was a gathering of men sitting on makeshift crates drinking alcohol and talking loudly. To my left, I saw a woman wearing coochie cutter shorts, leaned over into the passenger window of a car talking with two men. Other men who were passing by her on the sidewalk stopped to ogle her behind. At that moment everything in my life seemed to be going wrong. Everyone around me seemed to be crazy, and they were making me crazy just by being around them. I calmed myself down as best as I could and walked up the street to the payphone. I called up Ronnie.

      “Yeah,” he said as he answered the phone.

      “Hey, Ronnie, it’s me, Keysha. What are you doing?” I asked.

      “Why?” he shot back at me.

      “Um...” I lost my nerve for a minute. “Do you really not love me anymore?” I don’t know why I asked that question. I suppose in some sort of way I just wanted someone to care about me.

      “You know I don’t,” he answered coldly.

      “Do you want to come over? My mother isn’t home. We could talk and stuff.”

      “Naw, I’m not even going to get down with you like that, Keysha. It’s over. A baller like me has got to move on.”

      “You know what, Ronnie, I should come—hello, hello?” Ronnie had hung up on me. I slammed the phone against its cradle and started crying. I let go of my tears for a minute before I got myself together and headed back home.

      * * *

      The following morning, I got up and headed to my first day of school completely unprepared. I walked through the halls dazed and spaced out because I had so much on my mind. I was worried about Toya and Junior and didn’t know what to do. I was worried about my mother and how she was going to deal with the eviction notice. I was worried about school because, even though it wasn’t socially acceptable to say I enjoyed school on any level other than to socialize, I actually really enjoyed my literature class.

      I had no idea of how I was going to make it through school, and the person I depended on would most certainly leave me hanging, just as she’d done so many times in the past.

      I just entered my history class and took a seat at the back of the room. I was hoping the teacher, and everyone else, for that matter, wouldn’t notice me. Once the roll call was completed, the course syllabus was handed out. Just as we were about to go over it, the principal and two police officers entered the classroom.

      “Oh, shit,” I whispered loudly. Toya must have tricked on me, and now the police were there to arrest me. I wanted to run out of the room but I couldn’t because there was only one way in and one way out. The principal began searching the room, and I scrunched down in my seat as far as I could without actually going up under my desk. I was doing the best that I could to hide in plain sight. The principal finally found the student the police were searching for and I was thankful that it wasn’t me.

      “Dang, girl, you were trying to get up under the floor,” said Lynn Jones, who was one weird girl.

      “Yeah, whatever,” I said to her.

      “What did you do that has you afraid of the police?” she wanted to know.

      “None of your damn business,” I snapped at her for being nosy.

      “Well, forget you, too. The next time the police come into this class I’m just going to start pointing my finger at you so they’ll see you.”

      I leaned over in my seat and looked directly at her. “If you do that I’ll put superglue on all of your clothes during gym.”

      “No, you wouldn’t,” she said, not believing me.

      “Try me,” I said, unafraid of her. She didn’t say anything else to me so I dropped our conversation.

      * * *

      When I arrived home, I saw Toya’s grandmother standing outside the building. She was wearing a one-size-fits-all flower-print dress, some run-over and worn-out looking brown sandals, her black sunglasses for the blind, and she had her white walking stick with the red tip. When I approached her I spoke.

      “Hello, Ms. Maze.” She turned to the direction of my voice.

      “Who is that?”

      “It’s me, Keysha. Toya’s friend,” I answered her.

      “Oh, how are you doing, baby?” she inquired.

      “I’m okay. I’m just coming home from school.”

      “That’s good, honey. I wish Toya was more like you and stayed in school.” Ms. Maze hung her head low for a moment. “Oh, I don’t know what I’m going to do with that girl.”

      “Um, where is she at?” I asked because I hadn’t heard from or seen Toya.

      “She’s gotten herself and the baby into some trouble. I’m going to see what I can do about getting her out of jail.”

      “Oh,” I said. I wanted to tell her everything but I couldn’t. I just didn’t have the courage. “Is she okay?”

      “As well as to be expected,” she answered me.

      “Do you think she’ll be getting out today?” I asked.

      “I’m going to do my best to get her out,” she said.

      “Um, where is Junior?” I asked as I shifted my weight from one foot to the other.

      “Oh, baby, I don’t know.” Ms. Maze got choked up and couldn’t speak for a long moment.

      “Keysha, are you still there?”

      “Yeah, I’m here.”

      “Do me a favor, and stand here with me until the cab I called comes along. I’d like for you to help me get in the car.”

      “Okay,” I said, feeling very bad about her having to go down to the police station to see about Toya. What made me feel even worse was the fact that she didn’t know what had happened to her great-grandson, Junior.

      * * *

      When the cab arrived I made sure that she got in without any problem. I then turned to head inside. I was hoping that my mother had come home. When I walked up to our apartment I saw there was another