His Heiress Wife. Margaret Way
overflowing inside him. He raised his hand as if to stroke her cheek. Let it drop. “Months ago I did something crazy. Unforgivable.”
Olivia clasped her hands together prayerfully. “Tell me,” she urged, apprehension invading her black fringed luminous eyes.
“I love you, Liv,” he muttered. He felt like he was dying. “I love you more than life itself. I always knew I didn’t deserve you.”
“You do. You do! What are you talking about?” Olivia grasped the front of his shirt, clinging on.
“Megan Duffy came to me this afternoon,” he said starkly. “She told me she’s pregnant.”
Olivia’s eyes widened. “Megan Duffy! What does she have to do with us? Megan Duffy?” Abruptly she spun about, presenting her slender back to him. “I don’t think I want to know. Is God punishing me for being so happy?”
“Liv, please. You’re breaking my heart. I wish, how I wish, I didn’t have to tell you this, but I’m the father, Liv.”
For moments Olivia stood utterly still like a statue, then fiercely she faced him, her eyes those of a woman who had been dealt a mortal blow. “I have no idea what is going on,” she said in a voice so tight it droned. “What do you mean you’re the father? How can that be? You love me. We’re getting married, remember? Harry has spent thousands and thousands making sure everything is just perfect for us. You’re lying.”
Desperate to touch her, even if he could never touch her again, he grasped her hands tightly. “You can’t think worse of me than I think of myself.”
“Jason, Jason, stop!” she cried. “I can’t bear it!” She wrenched her hands away from him, recoiling several steps. Tears welled into her eyes but she blinked them back furiously. Anger was starting to lift, to soar. She felt as if her life was shattering like shards of glass all around her. She wanted to lash out at him. Hurt him. Hadn’t he wounded her to death? “Bring Megan here,” she demanded, a shudder rippling through her body. “I want to look into her eyes. Lucy, our chief bridesmaid warned me I was taking a chance on Megan Duffy but stupid old trusting me felt sorry for her. She hasn’t had much of a life. Her father’s a bloody maniac. Have you thought of that? He could kill you. How could you make Megan Duffy pregnant? How could it possibly happen? When did it happen? That’s the thing. We’re never apart. Why did you never say a word? Did you take leave of your senses, Jason? Did you lose control? Why? You had me. You love me. You’ve told me so many times I couldn’t possibly keep count. You don’t like Megan Duffy. How could you possibly make love to a girl you don’t even like?”
Her words pierced him like a dagger to the heart. “Booze, what else?” he said in desolation. “I must have thought she was you…but, no!” Immediately he rejected that notion. “That wouldn’t be right, she could never be you. I was drunk, Liv, I’ll have to live with that all my life. As for when it happened? It was months ago, after Sean Duffy’s birthday party. I told you I’d look in. The terrible part is I didn’t want to go but I felt obligated to at least make an appearance. He’s on my team.”
She willed herself not to break into a storm of weeping. That would have to wait until later when she was alone. “On your team? To think I was so proud of the way you excelled at sports. You’re a wonderful athlete but Sean Duffy…you know he’s into drugs. Why get mixed up with the likes of him?” Olivia struck Jason so hard in the chest, he reeled off balance. “Someone stop me from screaming,” she cried out in torment. “You had sex with Megan Duffy, my bridesmaid? That’s too much.” Olivia wrapped her arms around her body, holding herself upright with a tremendous effort. She had to counteract the feeling she was going to pass out. Her beautiful skin registered her agitation. It had turned white as milk. “Am I dreaming?” She stared upwards at the cloudless blue sky as though it could give her the answer. “I’m in the middle of a nightmare, aren’t I? Tell me!”
Jason shook his auburn head in shame and despair. “I don’t know how it happened, Liv. I can’t believe it happened.” His wide shoulders slumped. “I’d give anything to turn back the clock. I’ll never forgive myself for causing you so much pain.”
“Pain? What do you mean, pain?” she gritted. “What about the bloody humiliation?” She who rarely swore was having difficulty stopping. “Don’t let’s beat about the bush. You’ve made the greatest fool of me. I gave you my heart. My soul. My pathetic body. At least I didn’t set you up for a shotgun wedding, that’s what you’ll have with the Duffys. And good luck to you and Megan. I’d have gone with you to the ends of the earth if you’d asked me. I was a total, total fool about you. As for that little traitor Megan, I felt I was helping her but all the while she was probably using me. You were right when you once called her secretive. I’ve been so happy, so brimming with joy, I couldn’t see what was right under my nose.” Olivia let out a strangled breath. “Ah, Jason!” Sorrow replaced anger. “To think I loved you. Your blue eyes! I thought your beautiful blue eyes were windows to your soul. Only there’s no-one home in your soul.”
He inhaled jaggedly, feeling the most profound shame. “Not anymore.” He’d lost her. He was demolished.
Olivia’s radiance too was totally extinguished. “I’ve loved you all my life,” she said brokenly. “To think Harry loves you. He’s done so much for you. He was proud to welcome you into the family. How you’ve betrayed us, betrayed yourself.”
“I know.” He felt like a man of no substance. Like his father.
“You know?” She threw up her chin. It perfectly expressed her anger and pride. “Is that all you can say? You know! Goddamn you, Jason.” Her voice began to shake in her throat. Her eyes turned to a diamond dazzle of pure fury. Deliberately she brought up her left hand that bore his ring and slapped him hard as she could across his taut handsome face. It left a red stain on his tanned skin and little spurts of blood where the setting of the ring had caught him. “I want you to leave,” she said with the greatest contempt. “Here’s your ring though it meant precious little to you.” She tore the solitaire diamond ring off her finger, hurling it at him, all fierce disgust. “I never want to see you again.” She was choking with anger and grief. “Go away, Jason Corey. Go away and never come back.”
Jason came out of his reverie as a huge smoke-grimed hand came in the open window of the ute and touched his shoulder. It startled him. “Bruno?”
“Are you all right, mate?” Bruno, who had been driving one of the tractors looked in at him with concern. “It must be boiling in the ute. I’m goin’ over to the shed for a cold beer. Want one?”
Jason blinked hard, hoping his expression wasn’t as stricken as he felt. The memories that had come rushing back had been more vivid than they had been in a long time. “No thanks, Bruno,” he said, surprised his voice sounded so normal. “You go right ahead. We’re making good progress. Mr. Linfield has asked me to join him.” He glanced at his watch. “I’d better get going.”
“See ya later then, boss.” Bruno, a giant of a man stood away from the ute, giving Jason a quick salute as he drove away.
He had to get shot of the sense of hopelessness and futility that had overwhelmed him, Jason thought. It had come right out of the blue. Memories had a tendency to do that. With the passing of time he had convinced himself he was getting better and better at holding himself together. He was nowhere near the strong, self-sufficient figure most people thought him. All it needed was a chink opening onto the past for him to fall into a black void. Why were his memories bothering him today? He didn’t even dream about Liv much anymore. He’d learned to keep a tight rein on himself, even his subconscious. He had responsibilities. Harry had come to depend on him more and more. Jason was virtually running Havilah these days.
“You’re my right hand man, Jason. I’m closer to you than I am to anybody outside my dear Olivia.”
Tough as nails, him. A very fast learner. Harry had never had cause to tell him anything twice anymore than the owner of Caramba Station who’d done everything in his power to get Jason to stay on. His