.
right doesn’t make it okay.”
“How do I make it okay?” Henry asked. “I love Ben and I love Bea, and I really want you to take all your clothes off. And I’ll do whatever it takes to get you naked. And make them happy. But mostly get you naked.”
Claudia sighed.
“We have to fix this. She’s still mad at him. He’s still mad at you. That means…they aren’t over each other.”
“Good point. So what now?”
Claudia knelt on the bed and pulled her shirt off.
“Well, Bea has this book review to write. She’s gotta find a partner to have sex with since the book’s a sex position manual for Generation Y.”
“What’s Generation Y?” Henry asked.
“Us.”
“Gotcha.”
“You see, Bea has to try out the positions in the book. What if we tell Ben that Bea wants him to be her book buddy?”
“And tell Bea what?” Henry asked.
“We’ll tell Bea that Ben volunteered to help her out with this book thing. And so he’ll go to her room expecting sex. She’ll open the door expecting sex. They’ll have sex. And either it’ll work or it won’t and it doesn’t matter either way because you and I are getting married no matter what.” Claudia pulled off her bra and started to shimmy out of her jeans.
“Worth a shot. Anything to get me out of the doghouse and into doggie style.”
“Good. Go talk to Ben.”
“Can I fuck my bride-to-be first please?”
“No. Ben first. Then me.”
“I have to fuck Ben first? Good thing he’s pretty. You know he was bisexual for one week in college?”
“Henry.”
“And you can just get lost in those blue eyes. I call that color Chris Pine blue.”
“Henry.”
“I want to be the Spock to his Kirk. You know, the J.J. Abrams reboot, not the original series.”
“Henry!” Claudia flicked his nose—hard.
“I’m going. I’m going. Don’t start without me.”
Claudia tossed her panties at Henry’s back as he headed to the door. As soon as he was gone, she picked up the phone and called Bea’s room.
“Bea’s answering machine,” came the voice over the line. “Please leave a message at the beep.”
“This is the Hotel Essex,” Claudia said, rolling her eyes. “And no one has owned an answering machine in twenty years. And you’re just trying to annoy me.”
“Beep,” Beatriz said.
“Hi Bea, it’s Claudia,” Claudia began. Bea often faked her own answering machine, especially when she knew who was calling for the sole purpose of annoying them. That’s okay. Claudia knew exactly how to get her revenge. “I just wanted you to know that Ben was into you during college, and he still is. Henry asked him not to pursue you because of me. That’s all. No need to call me back. Bye. Oh, and if you ask him to have sex with you this week so you can work on your book report thingie, he probably would go for it.”
Claudia hung up the phone. Immediately her hotel phone rang. She didn’t answer it. She heard a buzzing from her purse—Beatriz calling her cell. She ignored that call as well.
Five minutes and fifteen unanswered phone calls later, Henry walked back in the room. Claudia lay naked on the bed. She rose up on her elbows and looked at him with a cocked eyebrow.
“So?” she asked.
“He’s on his way to her room right now.”
“Good,” Claudia said. “Now we can have sex.”
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