Natboff! One Million Years of Stupidity. Andy Stanton
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For Tony McGowan - AS
For Mrs Aubrey - DT
First published in Great Britain 2018
by Egmont UK Limited
The Yellow Building, 1 Nicholas Road, London W11 4AN
Text copyright © 2018 Andy Stanton
Illustrations copyright © 2018 David Tazzyman
The moral rights of the author and illustrator have been asserted
First e-book edition 2018
978 1 4052 9098 2
Ebook ISBN 978 1 4052 9257 3
A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library
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CONTENTS
THE MASSIVE GIANT AND THE FLEA
Bibbering Through the Ages: The Stone Table
Princess Snowflake and the Gypsy King
The Story of Old King Thunderbelly and the Wall of Lamonic Bibber
Life and Times of Saint Follican
Bibbering Through the Ages: Ráðghöldeskvúldrr
A BRIEF HISTORY of the MERRIE OLD KINGS and QUEENS of ENGLAND
Bibbering Through the Ages: Upside-Down Walker on the Bun Shop
Bibbering Through the Ages: Wednesday O’Leary
Bibbering Through the Ages: Madame Strawberries
The STRANGE CASE of DOCTOR WEMPERS and MR CRIBBINS
Bibbering Through the Ages: Chimpy Roberts
Bibbering Through the Ages: Frank Nerbles
Back series promotional page
20,000 YEARS BC
Long long timm go in Lamonic Bibber was cavma days. Bigges cavma was Natboff.
‘ME THROW ROCK AT MITY WOOLY MAMMOF!’ say Natboff. ‘HAHA! WOOLY MAMMOF CRY LIKK BABY! NATBOFF BIG AN STRONG! NATBOFF HARIES FATTES CAVMA OF AL TIMM! NATBOFF BESTT!’
But liff always go rong. Wun day Natboff walkig alonn wen com acros even bigge harier cavma of al timm.
‘HOO YOU?’ say Natboff.
‘ME CHUNKA!’ say even bigge cavma.
‘NATBOFF HATE CHUNKA!’ say Natboff.
‘NATBOFF