Amelia Fang and the Barbaric Ball. Laura Ellen Anderson
Silence.
‘At least I’ll have someone to hang out with this year . . .’
‘What’s that?’ Tangine said suddenly, pointing at Squashy.
‘Oh, this is Squashy, my pet pumpkin,’ said Amelia.
Squashy smiled and squeaked three times.
‘Pets are silly,’ said Tangine, rolling his eyes.
Amelia’s cheeks burned. ‘Um,’ she said uncomfortably. ‘Well, shall we go to class then?’
‘Don’t they teach you manners in this school?’ said Tangine. ‘I am royalty, you must open the door for me!’
Amelia felt herself blush again, but at that moment the door suddenly burst open.
‘Oh, thank the grave,’ breathed Miss Inspine. ‘I thought you’d lost the prince, Amelia. Chop chop, you’ve made him late for class!’
‘But, Miss, I—’ Amelia began.
‘Not now, Amelia,’ said the head teacher. ‘Hurry up. There’s a special seat for Tangine next to you.’
Amelia and Tangine took their seats while Squashy nestled under the desk.
‘Did everyone complete their Creature and Critter Studies homework?’ said Miss Inspine. ‘Your Full Moon test is coming up and this year’s subject is “Creatures of the Light”. Can anyone tell me what they’ve learnt so far?’
‘Oooh, me, me, me, pick me!’ Frankie shot her hand up in the air.
‘Very well.’ Miss Inspine sighed.
Frankie stood up and cleared her throat. ‘Well, we all know that the Creatures of the Light are terrifying, mean creatures who do awful things . . .’
‘This is a stupid subject,’ muttered Tangine.
‘I read a book called The Wrath of the Angel-Kitten,’ continued Frankie, ‘and they act all cute, nuzzle your neck and then . . . scratch your eyeballs out and eat them WHOLE!’
The class gasped. Tangine was looking down, twiddling his thumbs.
‘Thank you for that dramatic account, Frankie,’ said Miss Inspine with another deep sigh.
‘And we all know that fairies are capable of MUCH worse.’ Frankie glanced over at Tangine. ‘I’m soooo sorry about your mother—’
‘THAT is quite enough, Frankie!’ interrupted Miss Inspine. ‘I told you not to mention the fairy incident!’ she hissed.
‘Can’t we learn about something else?’ said Tangine sharply, straightening up in his chair.
It must be hard for him after what happened to his mother, thought Amelia.
Amelia and her friends loved reading stories about the Creatures of the Light: the gruesome glittery unicorns (Nocturnians were TERRIFIED of glitter), the evil sparkly fairies and the cute and fluffy angel-kittens of terror. It was the stuff of daymares. Everyone knew that while Nocturnians were sleeping and the sun was out, terrifying creatures from the nearby Kingdom of the Light lurked around the Petrified Forest. Nocturnians didn’t dare step outside again until nightfall, if they could help it.
‘Florence,’ trilled Miss Inspine, ‘did you do any research on the subject?’
‘MATTER OF FACT I DID . . .’ said Florence, standing up. ‘MY MUM READ ME A BOOK CALLED FEARFUL FACTS ABOUT FIENDISH FAIRIES. THEY USE THAT SPARKLY STUFF CALLED GLITTER AND SPRINKLE IT ALL OVER YOU, MAKING YOU FALL INTO A DEEP SLEEP. THEN . . .’ She paused. ‘WHILE YOU’RE SLEEPING SOUNDLY, THEY USE THEIR LITTLE WANDS TO . . .’ She leant forward, staring at Frankie intensely. ‘STEAL YOUR FANGS!’
Grimaldi yelped and pulled his hood over his face. Amelia put her hand over her mouth.
‘Oh, don’t be so over the top, Beast!’ said Tangine.
Amelia, Florence and Grimaldi stared at the prince in shock.
‘WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?’ said Florence, rising up to her full height.
‘Well, that’s what you are, isn’t it? A brutal beast who doesn’t shut up?’ said Tangine, avoiding eye contact.
‘Hey! That’s a really mean thing to say,’ said Amelia. She couldn’t believe he’d called Florence a beast. There was no excuse for that, even if he was feeling nervous.
Florence loomed over Tangine. ‘I AM NOT A BEAST . . .’ she boomed. ‘I’M A RARE BREED OF YETI!’
‘Florence Spudwick!’ shouted Miss Inspine, causing her ribs to rattle. ‘Leave the prince alone and sit down this instant!’
‘BUT MISS, ’E CALLED ME A—’
‘Now!’ said Miss Inspine. ‘Right. Please open your books to page thirty-two, the questionnaire on angel-kitten history. You have fifteen minutes.’ And with that she took off her head and put it in the cupboard for some peace and quiet.
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