How to Bake a New Beginning. Lucy Knott
looked peaceful, like he was sleeping, all wrapped up in his blanket.
Sabrina sat on the edge of the bed next to their nanna, who was sat in her chair by Grandpa’s side. Mum and Dad stood each with a hand on Sabrina’s shoulders. Amanda couldn’t let go of Louisa’s hand. Her mind raced with images of Grandpa sitting up, turning to them all and saying hello. She might have been an adult, but in that moment she didn’t understand anything. She felt powerless. Why couldn’t she wake him?
With all the strength she could muster Amanda walked over to Nanna and hugged her tight before walking over to the bed to kiss Grandpa gently on his cold head. She whispered the words: ‘Thank you for everything,’ while her heart shattered into a million pieces. Her body began trembling as tears erupted from her, loud and aggressively. The pain was too much.
Mum grasped her tightly as Sabrina and Louisa followed suit, kissing Grandpa and stroking his forehead. When they were done, the three girls turned and fled from the room. It was too much seeing their dearest grandpa like this and they wanted to allow for Nanna and Mum to have some time with him too.
Amanda re-entered the cold living room and sat huddled up on the corner of the couch closest to the fireplace. She loved sitting by the fire. It brought with it so much warmth and comfort and memories of Grandpa telling stories as she and her sisters nibbled on Italy’s finest cakes. She let the memories play out in her mind, like a highlight reel, for a while.
***
The club was quaint, dark and dingy. Amanda felt it wouldn’t go amiss along the colourful San Francisco streets. Her black and gold buckled boots stuck to the floor with every odd step she took. She made her way to the front row and rested her elbows on the stage. When she saw the microphone stand a flurry of butterflies let loose in her stomach.
She looked to the clock. In ten minutes’ time her very best friend, whom she hadn’t seen in eight months, would be gracing the stage. She couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face, making her ears blush. Suddenly feeling hot in her giant teddy bear coat, she unzipped herself and placed her coat between her and the stage edge.
She looked around noticing the small room was now packed and as people edged up closer to her, the hotter it got. Dan would have to forgive her sweaty state when she squeezed him to death after the show. Excitement bubbled in her. She couldn’t wait to see him – the man who had shown her around San Francisco and who was now on her home turf. Sabrina had set them up with a few gigs in Europe to test the markets and Amanda thought her sister a genius.
***
‘Oh my God, you guys were amazing,’ Amanda gushed at Levi, thumping him in the arm as he reached the spot where she was standing, in the now empty hall. He shoved her back softly before pulling her into a bear hug.
‘Look at you – you look gorgeous, as always. I’m so glad you could make it,’ he said, just about cracking one of her ribs in the process. James and Dylan had appeared next to him by the time he put her down.
‘Thanks, Levi. You guys look incredible too. It’s so good to see you,’ she said, hugging James and Dylan. ‘What do you think of home sweet home?’ she asked baring her pearly whites and waving her arms around the dimly lit room that housed a bar on one side. The barman had set up drinks for the boys and waved them over.
‘Well, we haven’t seen too much yet and we’re only here for a few days, but it looks pretty good so far,’ James replied, leading the way to the bar and the drinks. He picked up the one tall glass of red wine and handed it to Amanda before passing out the beers to the boys. She took her glass gratefully, smiling that the guys had thought to inform the barman of her drink.
‘We’d best make the most of the next few days then,’ she said. ‘I don’t care that you are big fancy rock stars now, I’m going to need you all to myself,’ she added with a playful grin.
‘Sounds good to me,’ came a warm raspy voice from behind her. Her grin grew wider and Amanda winked at Levi before turning to face Dan.
‘Ooh, aren’t the lead singers supposed to be the worst of the pack? So much ego with being front and centre all the time. Not all places in Manchester are built for such royalty, and boys …’ Amanda cocked her head back to glance at the rest of the band before locking eyes with Dan once more ‘… do you really think I can take this wild and crazy rock star home to meet my parents?’
She heard Levi, James and Dylan crack up behind her. Dan’s eyes twinkled under the low lights. She watched as his lips turned up into a cheeky smirk. He walked towards her with ease and calm, took the wineglass out of her hand and placed it back on the bar. Amanda stood watching his movements, chewing her bottom lip. She was trying not to crack up with laughter like the others, but she felt deliriously happy.
Just as she was about to open her mouth and tease Dan some more, he grabbed her around the waist, wrapping her up in his Versace scent, wet hair and solid frame. Amanda breathed him in. She couldn’t put a finger on what it was about this man, but he made her feel safe and like she could be her true self with him. Though she had been speaking to him via social networks since she left San Francisco, being in his presence again felt terribly good.
‘All right, all right,’ Amanda started, trying to push herself out of Dan’s strong grip, ‘always trying to be centre of attention.’ She smirked, then turned to pick up her wineglass and take a sip. ‘It’s nice to see you.’ She looked at Dan, who hadn’t taken his eyes off her.
‘Baby girl, it’s a lot more than “nice” to see you,’ he said, giving her his slow smile and collecting his own beer from the bar.
Dylan and James were now chatting amongst themselves. Levi, Amanda noticed, still had an eye trained on Dan, while also keeping up with what the others were discussing. She chuckled to herself how these boys knew each other like the backs of their hands. Dan was always watching over Levi, Levi always watching over Dan. They had that protective bond that came with being best friends since the age of three. They knew what was going on in each other’s lives, always. Levi had let Amanda in, but she was conscious of not stepping on his toes when it came to Dan. He was Levi’s best friend first and foremost.
‘You are right – it’s pretty fantastic to see you,’ she said, taking another sip of her wine and falling into conversation with Dan seamlessly, chatting about everything and nothing.
***
Amanda didn’t know why she felt nervous, but the palms of her hands were sweaty, and she had to blink back the dizziness as she looked at Dan and then turned the handle on her nanna and grandpa’s front door. Her family knew all about Dan. She had told them about him when she returned from San Francisco and they had occasionally popped on to Skype and waved a cheery hello to him, so it wasn’t like they were all complete strangers.
And really, it wasn’t a huge deal for them to like him. He was simply a friend, and with him living halfway across the world, it wasn’t like they had to see him all the time or put up with him and Amanda’s wild and crazy antics. She wasn’t a teenager any more either. Yet, her pulse was thumping rather loudly at being mere moments away from Grandpa meeting Dan in person.
The chatter in the living room drew closer but once Dan and Amanda came into view, the voices hushed. Louisa’s jaw dropped at the sight of him, which caused Amanda to laugh and her shoulders to drop slightly. Mum jumped up to greet him and instantly enveloped Dan in a hug. Dad stood tall, reaching out a hand in a very British hello.
Watching Nanna struggle to get up as fast as everyone else, Dan stepped over to her chair, leant down to her and gave a her a big hug and a kiss on the forehead while uttering the words ‘Ciao, bella.’ By this time Grandpa was standing and as Dan straightened up, both men came face to face. Grandpa’s eyes sparkled bright blue and his cheeks dimpled with a smile.