The Wind in the Willows – 90th anniversary gift edition. Kenneth Grahame
him and was busy scraping in the snow. He scratched and shovelled and explored, all four legs working busily, while the Mole waited impatiently, remarking at intervals, ‘O, come on, Rat!’
Suddenly the Rat cried ‘Hooray!’ and then ‘Hooray- oo-ray-oo-ray-oo-ray!’ and fell to executing a feeble jig in the snow.
‘What have you found, Ratty?’ asked the Mole, still nursing his leg.
‘Come and see!’ said the delighted Rat, as he jigged on.
The Mole hobbled up to the spot and had a good look.
‘Well,’ he said at last, slowly, ‘I see it right enough. Seen the same sort of thing before, lots of times. Familiar object, I call it. A door-scraper! Well, what of it? Why dance jigs round a door-scraper?’
‘But don’t you see what it means, you – you dull-witted animal?’ cried the Rat impatiently.
‘Of course I see what it means,’ replied the Mole. ‘It simply means that some very careless and forgetful person has left his door-scraper lying about in the middle of the Wild Wood, just where it’s sure to trip everybody up. Very thoughtless of him, I call it. When I get home I shall go and complain about it to – to somebody or other, see if I don’t!’
‘O dear! O dear!’ cried the Rat, in despair at his obtuseness. ‘Here, stop arguing and come and scrape!’ And he set to work again and made the snow fly in all directions around him.
After some further toil his efforts were rewarded, and a very shabby door-mat lay exposed to view.
‘There, what did I tell you?’ exclaimed the Rat in great triumph.
‘Absolutely nothing whatever,’ replied the Mole, with perfect truthfulness. ‘Well now,’ he went on, ‘you seem to have found another piece of domestic litter, done for and thrown away, and I suppose you’re perfectly happy. Better go ahead and dance your jig round that if you’ve got to, and get it over, and then perhaps we can go on and not waste any more time over rubbish-heaps. Can we eat a door-mat? Or sleep under a door-mat? Or sit on a door-mat and sledge home over the snow on it, you exasperating rodent?’
‘Do – you – mean – to – say,’ cried the excited Rat, ‘that this door-mat doesn’t tell you anything?’
‘Really, Rat,’ said the Mole quite pettishly, ‘I think we’ve had enough of this folly. Who ever heard of a door- mat telling any one anything? They simply don’t do it. They are not that sort at all. Door-mats know their place.’
‘Now look here, you – you thick-headed beast,’ replied the Rat, really angry, ‘this must stop. Not another word, but scrape – scrape and scratch and dig and hunt round, especially on the sides of the hummocks, if you want to sleep dry and warm tonight, for it’s our last chance!’
The Rat attacked a snow-bank beside them with ardour, probing with his cudgel everywhere and then digging with fury; and the Mole scraped busily too, more to oblige the Rat than for any other reason, for his opinion was that his friend was getting light-headed.
Some ten minutes’ hard work, and the point of the Rat’s cudgel struck something that sounded hollow. He worked till he could get a paw through and feel; then called the Mole to come and help him. Hard at it went the two animals, till at last the result of their labours stood full in view of the astonished and hitherto incredulous Mole.
In the side of what had seemed to be a snow-bank stood a solid-looking little door, painted a dark green. An iron bell-pull hung by the side, and below it, on a small brass plate, neatly engraved in square capital letters, they could read by the aid of moonlight:
MR BADGER
The Mole fell backwards on the snow from sheer surprise and delight. ‘Rat!’ he cried in penitence, ‘you’re a wonder! A real wonder, that’s what you are. I see it all now! You argued it out, step by step, in that wise head of yours, from the very moment that I fell and cut my shin, and you looked at the cut, and at once your majestic mind said to itself, “Door-scraper!” And then you turned to and found the very door-scraper that done it! Did you stop there? No. Some people would have been quite satisfied; but not you. Your intellect went on working. “Let me only just find a door-mat,” says you to yourself, “and my theory is proved!” And of course you found your door-mat. You’re so clever, I believe you could find anything you liked. “Now,” says you, “that door exists, as plain as if I saw it. There’s nothing else remains to be done but to find it!” Well, I’ve read about that sort of thing in books, but I’ve never come across it before in real life. You ought to go where you’ll be properly appreciated. You’re simply wasted here, among us fellows. If I only had your head, Ratty –’
‘But as you haven’t,’ interrupted the Rat rather unkindly, ‘I suppose you’re going to sit on the snow all night and talk? Get up at once and hang on to that bell- pull you see there, and ring hard, as hard as you can, while I hammer!’
While the Rat attacked the door with his stick, the Mole sprang up at the bell-pull, clutched it and swung there, both feet well off the ground, and from quite a long way off they could faintly hear a deep-toned bell respond.
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