Theory and Practice of Couples and Family Counseling. James Robert Bitter
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THIRD EDITION
Theory and Practice of Couples and Family Counseling
James Robert Bitter
6101 Stevenson Avenue, Suite 600 • Alexandria, VA 22304
Copyright © 2021 by the American Counseling Association. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. Except as permitted under the United States Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced or distributed in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
American Counseling Association
6101 Stevenson Avenue, Suite 600 • Alexandria, VA 22304
Associate Publisher • Carolyn C. Baker
Digital and Print Development Editor • Nancy Driver
Senior Production Manager • Bonny E. Gaston
Copy Editor • Beth Ciha
Cover and text design by Bonny E. Gaston
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Bitter, James Robert, author.
Title: Theory and practice of couples and family counseling / James Robert Bitter.
Other titles: Theory and practice of family therapy and counseling
Description: [Revised edition]. | Alexandria, VA: American Counseling Association, [2020] | Updated revision of earlier edition: Theory and practice of family therapy and counseling. | Includes bibliographical references and index.
Identifiers: LCCN 2020016571 | ISBN 9781556203831 (paperback)
Subjects: LCSH: Family counseling. | Family psychotherapy. | Couples—Coun-seling of. | Couples therapy.
Classification: LCC RC488.5 .B4932 2020 | DDC 616.89/156—dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020016571
DEDICATION
For my loving wife and partner, Lynn Williams, and our wonderful children, Alison and Nora—the real gifts of love that I have in my life.
In loving memory of my parents, Greg and Betty Bitter, who adopted me when I was six months old and gave me a foundation that has sustained me for seventy-four years.
For the couple and family practitioners who nurtured me as a person and a professional: Manford Sonstegard, Oscar Christensen, and Virginia Satir.
FOREWORD
In the 1960’s I went through my entire doctoral program thinking the best way to study counseling was to understand the dynamics of the individual. My friend and colleague, Dr. Jim Bitter, was one of the key people to introduce me to a couples, family, and systemic approach to counseling and psychotherapy. Being exposed to a systemic perspective broadened my view of individual counseling and working with individuals in group counseling. I appreciate his emphasis on knowing the role of an individual’s family of origin if we hope to effectively counsel a person.
Dr. Bitter has given workshops in Canada, England, Greece, Ireland, South Korea, New Zealand, and Peru as well as throughout the United States. He is an exceptionally gifted therapist who is a master at doing live presentations. He demonstrates respect, curiosity, interest, compassion, and a deep understanding of individuals in a family in his workshops. His presence encourages the family he is working with to reveal themselves in significant ways, and genuine encounters occur. His style as a person and as a practitioner is evident in this book. He draws from his practical experience to give this book an applied slant. This textbook is written in a scholarly manner, yet it is also personal and conversational. The theories come to life, and you are likely to have a sense that you are not just seeing them presented in a textbook but observing them being demonstrated. You are invited to reflect on your own family-of-origin experiences as you read each theory. In this way, reading and reflecting on the chapters is somewhat akin to having a therapeutic experience.
In this third edition of Theory and Practice of Couples and Family Counseling, several new topics and theories are introduced. New to this edition