Mail-Order Christmas Brides. Jillian Hart
moment she saw him differently. Confident, gentle and whole. What an impressive man he must have been. He still must be, she decided.
“Whatever you cook is fine.” His fork stopped midair. “I appreciate not having to make it myself.”
“So you do the cooking.” The picture was coming clear. Tate standing at the stove, trying to do both the work of a mother and a father. “I thought maybe Ingrid did.”
“No. My sister has her own life. I do my best not to impose on her.” The words lashed and he winced. Obviously he hadn’t meant to be harsh. “Sorry. It’s an argument in my family. They did so much for Gertie while I was…away.”
He choked on that last word, and Felicity wondered why. Sorrow filled the air. She wanted to know what had happened but now wasn’t the time. She would leave that sadness for another day. “I hope you don’t mind if she and I are friendly. I’ve been without my sisters for so long I ache for that connection again. When I met her, I thought perhaps we could be close, like real sisters should be.”
“I’m sure she will like that.” One corner of his mouth curled upward. Bleakness faded from his eyes’ midnight-blue depths. “Ingrid has been nearly as excited by your arrival as Gertie is. My sister will probably want to drag you with her to her social events. I don’t have a problem with that. You should make friends here.”
“Oh. Friends.” She hadn’t thought that far. Suddenly a whole new world opened up to her. The lonely existence she’d left behind faded. She was no longer alone. Did Tate realize what he had done for her?
“It must be hard leaving everything behind.” He peered at her from behind his dark lashes. “And everyone.”
“There was no one left, not toward the end. The friends I’d made at work left town when they lost their jobs. The relationships I’d made at the orphanage didn’t last. Most of the girls I grew up with were eager to put the past behind them and went somewhere else to start fresh.” She shrugged. Staying had been her choice, so it wasn’t a sad thing. “I wasn’t able to let go.”
“What work did you do?”
“I’m a seamstress.” She liked that he wanted to know about her. Surely that was a good sign? He was reaching out to her and it made the small hope within her grow. “When I was a girl, I was hired out one summer to sew in a workshop in Cedar Rapids. It was an unpleasant circumstance, but I worked hard at learning the craft. When I was sent back to the orphanage in September, I had the skills I needed to find a job when I was old enough.”
“How old were you?”
“Eleven. And that’s just what I did. I worked hard to improve my sewing and when I was on my own, I worked in a dress shop making beautiful things.”
“That explains your clothes. That’s no calico work dress.”
“I wanted to make a good impression, so you wouldn’t take one look at me and wish me back on that train.” Her smile wobbled, though she tried to hide it. Guilt hit him because that was just what he’d wanted.
Not anymore. He took another bite of a delicious biscuit and followed it up with a flavorful mouthful of potato and gravy. Hard to swallow past the lump in his throat but he managed it. Felicity Sawyer was not what she seemed, not at all. His daughter had done a fine job picking out a ma. He wasn’t much of a provider, probably wouldn’t be much of a husband, but he vowed to do his best.
Gertie wasn’t the only one who deserved it.
“Do you know what time it is?” Felicity studied Gertie over the rim of her teacup. The meal was nearly done, Tate polished off the last biscuit on his plate and she recognized the girl’s fidgety excitement on her seat.
“Is it present time?” She lost the battle and bobbed off her chair. The question furrowed her dear brow and pleaded like a wish in her eyes. Such an adorable child. Felicity felt as if she’d always loved her.
“I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait a moment longer. Let’s go fetch your gifts.” She set down her cup with a clink, rising to her feet. Aware of Tate’s steady gaze, she dropped the napkin onto the table and followed Gertie’s dancing steps from the lighted room.
The farthest door opened into a small bedroom. Inky hints of a headboard and a window were all she could see before her right shoe bumped against her trunk. Surely there had to be a lamp here somewhere. She heard Tate’s boots approach, illumination spilled into the room bobbing closer as he did and her surroundings came to life. A bed against one wall, a shabby chest of drawers against another and a pair of muslin curtains, that was all. Not even an extra lamp.
“I put your gift right on top.” Felicity knelt beside her trunk, where Gertie already waited, squirming with anticipation, and worked the latch on the lid. “I started making it as soon as I read your first letter. That’s how much I liked you.”
Anticipation beat, making her hand tremble and her pulse thumped, heavy and syrupy in her veins as she opened the lid. Tate leaned in with the lamp and set it on the chest of drawers behind her. His nearness shrank the room and made skittles on her skin, like a summer breeze blowing.
“Felicity, is that really for me?” The girl gasped, unbelieving.
She opened her mouth but no answer came. She had lost every word she knew. Was it because of the solemn man towering over her? He was enormous from this vantage, sculpted muscle and powerful masculinity, a mountain of a man made of granite. His face was a mask of rock but his gaze softened when he looked into the trunk. His eyes turned glassy, as if overcome with emotion.
“Is she really mine?” Gertie repeated, as if certain she was dreaming. As if the gift could not be real.
“She’s yours. I didn’t name her. I thought you could do that. Go ahead and hold her.”
“Oh. She’s beautiful.” Golden ringlets bounced as the girl bent down to gather the cloth doll into her arms like a mother holding a new baby. She simply stared into the doll’s face, taking in the embroidered rosebud mouth and blue button eyes.
“I wanted her to look like you.” She couldn’t resist brushing back a wayward ringlet, as soft as the finest silk. Love for this precious girl deepened. “I didn’t know if you already had a doll.”
Gertie shook her head, curls bobbing, and the silence became sorrow. The same emotion etched into Tate’s stony features. When his gaze captured hers, his stoniness eased. He nodded once, his appreciation clear.
She wasn’t aware of removing another gift from the trunk or rising to face the man. The force in his eyes held her captive, impossible to look away. The hook in her heart deepened, its grip on her secure. Why did it feel as if she were falling? She stood perfectly straight, her balance was just fine. Yet the room tilted until the only steady thing was Tate’s midnight gaze holding her in place.
“This is for you.” Her hands felt disconnected from the rest of her as she held out the woolen bundle. When his eyes broke from hers to study the gift she offered him, she felt oddly bereft, alone and full of loss. As if without the binding connection of his gaze, she was no longer the same, no longer whole. The room stopped whirling. The ground steadied beneath her feet. Uncertainty wound through her as Tate’s rocky mask returned. So remote, she could not read his reaction.
Did he not like the scarf? She’d knitted it during the empty hours after supper and before bed, needles clacking, wondering about the man she was making it for. “I guessed at the color. I didn’t know what you liked.”
“It will do.” His baritone grated, rough and hard as if he were angry but that wasn’t the emotion creasing his face. The show of feeling was brief before it vanished. “I appreciate it.”
“I hoped the blue would match your eyes.” She felt inadequate standing before him and she didn’t know why. Perhaps she’d secretly wished the gift of a scarf would break the ice between them, take them from being strangers to something more friendly.