Real Life In London, Volumes I. and II. Egan Pierce

Real Life In London, Volumes I. and II - Egan Pierce


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numerous body of persons that crowded on every side, the whole party was separated. Bob, who had hung a little back while his two friends rushed forward, was lingering near the corner of the Temple: he was beckoned by a man across the way, to whom he immediately went.

      “Do you happen to want a piece of fine India silk handkerchiefs, Sir? I have some in my pocket that I can recommend and sell cheap—for money must be had; but only keep it to yourself, because they are smuggled goods, of the best quality and richest pattern.” During this opening speech, he was endeavouring to draw Tallyho under the archway of Bell-yard, when Sparkle espying him, ran across to him, and taking him by the arm—“Come along (said he;) and if you don't take yourself off instantly, I'll put you in custody,” shaking his stick at the other.

      All this was like Hebrew to Bob, who, for his part, really conceived the poor fellow, as he termed him, might be in want of money, and compelled to dispose of his article for subsistence.

      “Ha, ha, ha,” cried Sparkle, “I see you know nothing about them: these are the locusts of the town.” At this moment they were joined by the Hon. Tom Dashall.

      “Egad!” continued Sparkle, “I just saved your Cousin from being trepanned, and sent for a soldier.”

      Tallyho appeared all amazement.

      “What,” cried Tom, “in the wars of Venus then, I suppose I know he has a fancy for astronomy, and probably he was desirous of taking a peep into Shire-lane, where he might easily find the Sun, Moon, and Seven Stars.”

      “Ha! ha! ha!” replied Sparkle, “not exactly so; but I rescued him from the hands of a Buffer,{1} who would

      1 Buffers miscalled Duffers—Persons who adopt a species of

      swindling which is rather difficult of detection, though it

      is daily practised in London. The term Buffer takes its

      derivation from a custom which at one time prevailed of

      carrying Bandanas, sarsnets, French stockings, and silk of

      various kinds, next the shirts of the sellers; so that upon

      making a sale, they were obliged to undress in order to come

      at the goods, or in other words, to strip to the skin, or

      buff it; by which means they obtained the title of Buffers.

      This trade (if it may be so termed) is carried on in a

      genteel manner. The parties go about from house to house,

      and attend public-houses, inns, and fairs, pretending to

      sell smuggled goods, such as those already mentioned; and by

      offering their goods for sale, they are enabled by practice

      to discover the proper objects for their arts.

      Buffers, or Duffers, who are not rogues in the strict sense

      of the word, only offer to sell their goods to the best

      advantage, and by this means evade the detection of the

      police, but are equally subversive or destructive of common

      honesty under a cloak or disguise; for if they can persuade

      any person that the article offered is actually better or

      cheaper than any other person's, they are doing no more than

      every tradesman does; but then as they pay no rent or taxes

      to the State, the principal objection to them lies in the

      mode of operation, and an overstrained recommendation of

      their goods, which are always, according to their account,

      of the most superior quality; and they have a peculiar

      facility of discovering the novice or the silly, to whom

      walking up with a serious countenance and interesting air,

      they broach the pleasing intelligence, that they have on

      sale an excellent article well worth their attention, giving

      a caution at the same time, that honour and secrecy must be

      implicitly observed, or it may lead to unpleasantness to

      both parties. By these means persons from the country are

      frequently enticed into public-houses to look at their

      goods; and if they do not succeed in one way, they are

      almost sure in another, by having an accomplice, who will

      not fail to praise the articles for sale, and propose some

      gambling scheme, by which the party is plundered of his

      money by passing forged Bank-notes, base silver or copper,

      in the course of their dealings.

      doubtless have fleeced him in good style, if he could only have induced him to attend to his story.”

      “The mob you see collected there,” said the Hon. Tom Dashalll, “is attracted by two circumstances—Money's new Coronation Crop, just lanched—and a broken image of a Highlander, at the door of a snuff-shop; each of them truly important and interesting of course, the elevation of one man, and the destruction of another. The poor Scotchman seems dreadfully bruised, and I suppose is now under the Doctor's hands, for he has two or three plasters on his face.”

      “Yes,” continued Sparkle, “he has been out on a spree,{1} had a bit of a turn-up, and been knock'd down.”

      Upon hearing this conversation, Tallyho could not help inquiring into the particulars.

      “Why the facts are simply as follows,” continued

      1 Spree—A bit of fun, or a frolicsome lark.

      Sparkle—“in London, as you perceive, tradesmen are in the habit of exhibiting signs of the business or profession in which they are engaged. The Pawnbroker decorates his door with three gold balls—the Barber, in some places, (though it is a practice almost out of date) hangs out a long pole—the Gold-beater, an arm with a hammer in the act of striking—the Chemist, a head of Glauber, or Esculapius—the Tobacconist, a roll of tobacco, and of late it has become customary for these venders of pulverised atoms called snuff, to station a wooden figure of a Highlander, in the act of taking a pinch of Hardham's, or High-dried, as a sort of inviting introduction to their counters; and a few nights back, a Scotchman, returning from his enjoyments at a neighbouring tavern, stopped to have a little friendly chat with this gentleman's Highlander, and by some means or other, I suppose, a quarrel ensued, upon which the animated young Scotchman took advantage of his countryman—floored him, broke both his arms, and otherwise did him considerable bodily injury, the effects of which are still visible; and Johnny Bull, who is fond of a little gape-seed, is endeavouring to console him under his sufferings.”

      “Very kind of him, indeed,” replied Bob.

      “At any rate,” said Tom, “the Tobacconist will have occasion to be grateful to the Highlander{1} for some portion of his popularity.”

      1 It is matter of astonishment to some, but not less true,

      that many tradesmen in the Metropolis have to ascribe both

      fame and fortune to adventitious circumstances. It is said

      that Hardham, of Fleet Street, had to thank the celebrated

      Comedian, Foote, who, in one of his popular characters,

      introducing his snuffbox, offered a pinch to the person he

      was in conversation with on the stage, who spoke well of it,

      and inquired where he obtained it?—“Why, at Hardham's, to

      be sure.” And to this apparently trifling circumstance,

      Hardham was indebted for his fortune.

      The importance of a Highlander to a snuff-shop will appear

      by


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