Real Life In London, Volumes I. and II. Egan Pierce

Real Life In London, Volumes I. and II - Egan Pierce


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and have no doubt but I shall soon be able to throw further light on the subject.”

       Table of Contents

      “Some folks in the streets, by the Lord, made me stare,

      So comical, droll, is the dress that they wear,

      For the Gentlemen's waists are atop of their backs,

      And their large cassock trowsers they tit just like sacks.

      Then the Ladies—their dresses are equally queer,

      They wear such large bonnets, no face can appear:

      It puts me in mind, now don't think I'm a joker,

      Of a coal-scuttle stuck on the head of a poker.

      In their bonnets they wear of green leaves such a power,

      It puts me in mind of a great cauliflower;

      And their legs, 1 am sure, must be ready to freeze,

      For they wear all their petticoats up to their knees.

      They carry large bags full of trinkets and lockets,

      ?Cause the fashion is now not to wear any pockets;

      “While to keep off the flies, and to hide from beholders,

      A large cabbage-net is thrown over their shoulders.”

      IN a moment all was consternation, confusion, and alarm. The brilliant light that illuminated the surrounding buildings presented a scene of dazzling splendour, mingled with sensations of horror not easily to be described. The rattling of engines, the flashing of torches, and the shouting of thousands, by whom they were followed and surrounded, all combined to give lively interest to the circumstance.

      It was quickly ascertained that the dreadful conflagration had taken place at an extensive Timber-yard, within a very short distance of the Theatres, situated as it were nearly in the centre, between Covent Garden and Drury Lane. Men, women, and children, were seen running in all directions; and report, with his ten thousand tongues, here found an opportunity for the exercise of them all; assertion and denial followed each other in rapid succession, while the flames continued to increase. Our party being thus abruptly disturbed in their anticipated enjoyments, bade adieu to their Doxies,{1}

      1 Doxies—A flash term frequently made use of to denominate

      ladies of easy virtue.

      and rushed forward to the spot, where they witnessed the devouring ravages of the yet unquenched element, consuming with resistless force all that came in its way.

      “Button up,” said Tom, “and let us keep together, for upon these occasions,

      “The Scamps,{1} the Pads,{2} the Divers,{3} are all upon the lay."{4}

      The Flash Molishers,{5} in the vicinity of Drury Lane, were out in parties, and it was reasonable to suppose, that where there was so much heat, considerable thirst must also prevail; consequently the Sluiceries were all in high request, every one of those in the neighbourhood being able to boast of overflowing Houses, without any imputation upon their veracity. We say nothing of elegant genteel, or enlightened audiences, so frequently introduced in the Bills from other houses in the neighbourhood; even the door-ways were block'd up with the collectors and imparters of information. Prognostications as to how and where it began, how it would end, and the property that would be consumed, were to be met at every corner—Snuffy Tabbies, and Boosy Kids, some giving way to jocularity, and others indulging in lamentations.

      “Hot, hot, hot, all hot,” said a Black man, as he pushed in and out among the crowd; with “Hoot awa', the de'il tak your soul, mon, don't you think we are all hot eneugh?—gin ye bring more hot here I'll crack your croon—I've been roasting alive for the last half hoor, an' want to be ganging, but I can't get out.”

      “Hot, hot, hot, all hot, Ladies and Gentlemen,” said the dingy dealer in delicacies, and almost as soon disappeared among the crowd, where he found better opportunities for vending his rarities.

      “Lumps of pudding,” said Tom, jerking Tallyho by the arm, “what do you think of a slice? here's accommodation for you—all hot, ready dress'd, and well done.”

      “Egad!” said Bob, “I think we shall be well done ourselves presently.”

      “Keep your hands out of my pockets, you lousy beggar,”

      1 Scamps—Highwaymen.

      2 Pads—Foot-pads.

      3 Divers—Pickpockets.

      4 The Lay—Upon the look-out for opportunities for the

      exercise of their profession.

      5 Flash Molishers—a term given to low Prostitutes.

      said a tall man standing near them, “or b—— me if I don't mill you.”

      “You mill me, vhy you don't know how to go about it, Mr. Bully Brag, and I doesn't care half a farden for you—you go for to say as how I—”

      “Take that, then,” said the other, and gave him a floorer; but he was prevented from falling by those around him.

      The salute was returned in good earnest, and a random sort of fight ensued. The accompaniments of this exhibition were the shrieks of the women, and the shouts of the partisans of each of the Bruisers—the cries of “Go it, little one—stick to it—tip it him—sarve him out—ring, ring—give 'em room—foul, foul—fair, fair,” &c.” At this moment the Firemen, who had been actively engaged in endeavours to subdue the devouring flames, obtained a supply of water: the engines were set to work, and the Foreman directed the pipe so as to throw the water completely into the mob which had collected round them. This had the desired effect of putting an end to the squabble, and dispersing a large portion of the multitude, at least to some distance, so as to leave good and sufficient room for their operations.

      “The Devil take it,” cried Sparkle, “I am drench'd.”

      “Ditto repeated,” said Tom.

      “Curse the fellow,” cried Bob, “I am sopp'd.”

      “Never mind,” continued Tom,

      … “By fellowship in woe,

      Scarce half our pain we know.”

      “Since we are all in it, there is no laughing allowed.”

      In a short time, the water flowed through the street in torrents; the pumping of the engines, and the calls of the Firemen, were all the noises that could be heard, except now and then the arrival of additional assistance.

      Bob watched minutely the skill and activity of those robust and hardy men, who were seen in all directions upon the tops of houses, &c. near the calamitous scene, giving information to those below; and he was astonished to see the rapidity with which they effected their object.

      Having ascertained as far as they could the extent of the damage, and that no lives were lost, Tom proposed a move, and Sparkle gladly seconded the motion—“for,” said he, “I am so wet, though I cannot complain of being cold, that I think I resemble the fat man who seemed something like two single gentlemen roll'd into one,' and 'who after half a year's baking declared he had been so cursed hot, he was sure he'd caught cold;' so come along.”

      “Past twelve o'clock,” said a Charley, about three parts sprung, and who appeared to have more light in his head than he could shew from his lantern.

      “Stop thief, stop thief,” was vociferated behind them; and the night music, the rattles, were in immediate use in several quarters—a rush of the crowd almost knock'd Bob off his pins, and he would certainly have fell to the ground, but his nob{l} came with so much force against the bread-basket{2}


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