An Englishwoman in Utah. Mrs. T. B. H. Stenhouse
not think it was wrong for her to encourage the attentions of her elder; and she said, ‘He wishes it just as much as I do; and his wife had better behave herself, or I’ll marry him whether Polygamy exists or not in Zion; and he does not know, though we both suspect, that there is something in the rumours which we have heard.’ Then I told her I thought it was very wicked to encourage the visits of that man; for I believe that if he paid a little more attention to his wife she would be less unhappy—for I suppose she knew of his attentions to her.
“She said the wife knew nothing about it; that he was obliged to be out late at night, preaching, or at Jewin Street—which I knew meant flirting with the sisters and going to the theatre; and I fancy he does more of that than preaching. But she seemed to think it was all the wife’s fault, and blamed her. I asked her if she would like to be treated so, if she were an Elder’s wife, and had to work as hard and endure as much as all the Missionaries’ wives do. But she said she never could be in such a position, and told me that I was not a good Mormon or I would not set myself up as the accuser of the brethren. But I ask you, Sister Stenhouse, if that is the Mormonism which the elders used to teach us?
“And now I have told you all our long talk together, and so you can judge for yourself what a change has taken place since you left.
“The same day, after dinner, Brother Snow called, in company with two other elders, to see Mrs. Elsworth, and to ask her and the girls to a tea-party the next day. Mrs. Elsworth declined; but one young lady would go with Brother Snow, and Miss Caroline went with another elder; and my light-hearted friend waited till her Elder came also to ask her. After that, came Elder Shrewsbury, and I, of course, was to go with him.
“With all my faith, I am very much troubled about these things. They are not right, I think. Why, scarcely a day passes but some of these elders, who appear to have very little to do, call here, and send for one or two of these young sisters, and detain them from their work, much to the annoyance of poor Mrs. Elsworth, who, I believe, will apostatize over it eventually.
“See what a long letter I have written to you! I am afraid it will tire you. I often long to have you here, that I might come to you and tell you all my troubles. But perhaps after all I am wrong, and ought to see things in a different light. Have not the Elders and Apostles positively denied that Polygamy or any other sin was practised in Utah, or formed any part of the Mormon religion? and we know that these men of God would not deceive us.
“Be sure, dear, to write a nice long letter to me very soon; and, with fondest love, remember your own
“Mary Burton.”
I read this letter carefully through, and I sat down and thought of dear Mary Burton, and felt deeply sorry that she should be placed in a situation surrounded by so many temptations. To myself the letter brought a sad confirmation of all my fears. There was something painful in the thought. Had Polygamy been openly avowed as a Mormon doctrine, I should never have joined the Church. But now, what could I do?
After three months’ absence, Mr. Stenhouse was to return home, and I went to Geneva to meet him, feeling very happy when I saw him once again. Numbers of persons, both in Geneva and Lausanne had been converted while he was away, and were waiting for him to baptize them—among them was a retired Protestant minister, Monsieur Petitpierre, of whom I have something yet to mention. We began at last to rejoice in our success, and to be thankful that the Lord had answered our prayers.
I was now more than ever anxious about Polygamy. From much thinking on that subject, it had become the haunting spectre of my existence, and I dreaded what every day might bring forth. The news which my husband brought with him by no means reassured me. He told me that he had heard in England from the American Elders that there was a general expectation among the Saints in Utah that at the October Conference in Salt Lake City, Brigham Young would publish to the world that Polygamy was a doctrine of the Mormon Church.
After all the prevarications and denials then of the Apostles and Elders, Polygamy among the Saints was really a fact. As the truth became clearer to my mind, I thought I should lose my senses. The very foundations of my faith were shaken, and not only did I feel a personal repugnance to the unholy doctrine, but I began to realize that the men to whom I had listened with such profound respect, and had regarded as the representatives of God, had been guilty of the most deliberate and unblushing falsehood; and I began to ask myself whether, if they could do this in order to carry out their purpose in one particular, they might not be guilty of deception upon other points? Who could I trust now? For ten years the Mormon Prophets and Apostles had been living in Polygamy at home, while abroad they vehemently denied it, and spoke of it as a deadly sin. This was a painful awakening to me; we had all of us been betrayed. I lost confidence in man, and almost began to question within myself whether I could even trust in God.
There was no argument between Mr. Stenhouse and myself. It would have been worse than useless, for it was not his doing, and he assured me that he had as great a repugnance to the doctrine as I had. He had at first only hinted that it might eventually be acknowledged by the leaders of the Church; but it was a matter of too deeply a personal character for me to keep silence, and I did not rest until he had told me all. He had not seen the revelation, but the information which he had received was beyond a question; and singularly enough Elder Margetts, the London Elder of whose flirtation in Southampton I have already spoken, was at that time on a visit to Switzerland, and confirmed all that my husband had said. Thus the very man who, two years before, first excited my suspicions, now confirmed my fears, and openly stated as a fact that which he then was ashamed almost to suggest.
Elder Margetts had been in Utah from the time I saw him in England, and was now on a mission to Italy. He knew, therefore, very well what was said and done among the Saints in Zion. I, and those like me, whose faith was not too strong, were spoken of as “babes” to whom milk only must be given; and in this way any deception necessary to quiet our tender consciences was allowable; but Elder Margetts was one of the “strong men,” to whom meat was necessary—in other words, they were initiated into all the mysteries of the faith.
My husband enjoined me not to speak of what I had heard, and I felt very little inclination to do so—my heart was too full. The pleasant dreams and hopes of life were ended now to me. What could I look forward too? Henceforth the stern realities of a lonely and weary existence were all the future that should be mine.
Still, the “Revelation” sanctioning a change in the doctrines and practice of the church, was not yet published; and until polygamy was openly avowed I felt that the doom of my happiness was not yet sealed; and like many another heart-broken woman, I hoped against hope.
CHAPTER VIII.
THE REVELATION ON “CELESTIAL MARRIAGE.”
And time flew by; and at length the dreaded Revelation came.
One very pleasant morning, early in January, 1853, two Elders of the Italian Mission, Jabez Woodward and Thomas Margetts, took breakfast with us; and with them also was Mons. Petitpierre from Geneva, the Protestant minister of whom I have already spoken. While I was busy preparing the meal, Mr. Stenhouse and the two English elders went to the post office to get their letters, for at that time they were expecting important news. When they returned, breakfast was quite ready, and they took their seats at the table. I asked if there were any letters from England; and my husband said, “No, no letters; but there is a Star, and it contains the Revelation on Polygamy.”
He handed me a copy of the Millennial Star, a Mormon paper published in Liverpool; and as I took it, I felt as if I were receiving my death-warrant. It was indeed the death-warrant to all my hopes of happiness. I rose from the table, asking them to excuse me; and overcome with agitation and conflicting emotions, I retired to my own chamber. There, for the first time, I read that document which has since brought such sorrow and misery to so many wronged and heart-broken women. The reader may perhaps like to see the only foundation and authority for the practice of polygamy ever produced by the Mormon leaders.