Three Dramas. Bjørnstjerne Bjørnson
Do stop talking such nonsense!—I know one thing, and that is that you seem to find the brandy from my distillery remarkably to your taste!
The Doctor (interrupting them). When you are in these provoking moods there is always some grievance lurking at the back of your mind. Out with it! I am a doctor, you know; I want to get at the cause of your complaint!
The Editor. You were not very successful in that, you know, when you said my maid had cholera, and she really only was—. (Laughs.)
The Doctor (laughing). Are you going to bring that story up again? Every one is liable to make mistakes, you know—even you, my boy!
The Editor. Certainly. But before making a mistake this time—ahem!—I wanted first of all to enquire whether—
The Doctor. Ah! now it is coming!
The Editor—whether you have any objection to my mentioning John in my paper?
Mrs. Evje. What has John to do with us?
The Editor. Just as much as the Association, where he delivered his speech, has; it—ahem!—is one of the family institutions!
Evje. I have had no more to do with making John what he is than I have had with making that Association what it is.
The Editor. Your future son-in-law made the Association what it is, and the Association has made John what he is.
The Doctor. Or, to put it the other way round: John is Mr. Evje's servant; John has become an active member of the Association; therefore Mr. Evje is a patron of the Association.
The Editor. Or this way: John, being the well-known Mr. Evje's servant, has for that reason become an active member of the Association which—as he expressed it—his employer's future son-in-law "has had the honour to found!"
Mrs. Evje. Surely you never mean to put that in the paper?
The Editor (laughing). They are John's own words.
Mr. Evje. Of course, he would never put a tipsy man's maunderings into the paper. (To his wife.) Don't you understand that he is joking?
The Editor (clearing his throat). It is already in type.
The Doctor. Oh, nonsense!
The Editor. The scene afforded an opportunity for an extremely amusing sketch, without mentioning any names.
Mr. Evje. I sincerely hope that
The Doctor (to EVJE). Oh, he is only teasing you! You know him.
The Editor. What do you think of this? "Those who indirectly support so dangerous an institution will have to face exposure."—I quite agree with it.
Mrs. Evje (getting up). What do you mean? Do you mean that my husband—?
The Editor. A little fright will be a good discipline for him!
Evje. Is what you quoted meant as an accusation against us—whether you are serious or whether you are joking?
The Doctor. He is only trying to frighten you with a bogey; it is not the first time, you know!
Evje. Yes, but what have I to be frightened of? I don't belong to the Association.
The Editor. But persons who do belong to it frequent your house. A man is known by the company he keeps.
Mrs. Evje. I really begin to think he does mean it seriously.
The Editor. It is too ugly a thing to jest about, you mean?
Evje. Is it possible that you seriously mean to allude to John as my servant?
The Editor. Isn't he your servant?
Evje. And to put that in the paper for every one to read?
The Editor. No—only for those who read the paper.
Evje. And you have come here to tell us that?
The Editor. Do you suppose I would do it without telling you?
Mrs. Evje. It is perfectly shameless!
The Editor. It certainly is.
Evje. Is it your intention to quarrel with me?
The Editor. Of course!
Evje. With your own schoolfellow?—one who has been it true friend to you in all your ups and downs? It is abominable!
The Editor. Perhaps it was to ensure my holding my tongue that you have been my friend!
Mrs. Evje. You couldn't behave in such a fashion to a friend!
The Editor (drily). To my own brother, if he stood in my way!
Harald (to himself). This is too much! (Comes forward.) Is your hatred for me so bitter that on my account you must persecute even my future parents-in-law, your own old friends?
The Editor (who, as soon as HARALD came forward, has turned away to the DOCTOR). Have you heard how people are being beaten up to go to the meeting of electors to-night? The last political speeches of the campaign must be made with red fire burning at the wings! (Laughs.)
Mrs. Evje (coming up to him). No, you are not going to get out of it by changing the subject. Is it really your intention to put my husband in your paper?
The Editor. He is putting himself there.
Evje. I, who all my life have avoided being drawn into any political party?
The Doctor. What has Evje to do with Harald Rein's politics?
The Editor. He endorses them!
Mrs. Evje. No!—a thousand times no!
Evje. Why, only to-day
The Doctor. I can bear witness to that!
The Editor. It is no use protesting!
Evje. But you must believe our protestations!
The Editor. Bah! You will see something more to-morrow—
Evje. Something more?
Mrs. Evje. Against my husband?
The Editor. That scandal about the Stock Exchange Committee. No less than three Letters to the Editor about it have been lying in my pigeon-holes for some time.
Evje (in bewilderment). Are you going to put nonsense of that sort in your paper? The most respected men on the Exchange—?
Mrs. Evje. Members of the Committee—?
The Editor. They are only respected men so long as they respect themselves. When their chairman enters into connections which offend public opinion, the whole crew of them must be made to feel what sort of a man it is they are associating with.
The Doctor. So on Mr. Rejn's account you are going to expose Evje, and on Evje's account the Stock Exchange Committee? I suppose my turn will come soon!
The Editor. It will come.
The Doctor. Indeed!
The Editor. The letters that have been sent to me are all from highly respected men. That shows that public opinion has turned round; and public opinion must be obeyed! (Throws out his hands.)
Evje (in a troubled voice). It is quite true that I have noticed in several little ways that their temper—. (Looks round him, and checks himself. Then speaks more confidently.) But it was just at such a time that I looked for help from you, my friend. That is why I did not bother myself much about it.
The Editor (to EVJE). But you know it is you that are attacking me now!
Evje. I?
Mrs. Evje. He?
The Editor. And, besides, I have no choice in the matter. You have made your bed, and must lie on it.
Evje