Absurd Ditties. G. E. Farrow

      "Alike in features and in size—

      So like, indeed, the keenest eyes

      Would find it hard

      (Extremely hard)

      To tell the t'other from the one——"

      "Hold! though your tale is but begun,"

      The porter cried, "a man may guess

      The secret of your keen distress.

      "You changed the babes at nurse, and I

      (No wonder that you weep and sigh),

      Tho' callèd Clarke

      (School Porter Clarke),

      Am really Mr. Rowe. I see.

      And he, of course, poor man, is me,

      While all the fortune he has known

      Through these long years should be my own.

      "Oh falsely, falsely, have you done

      To call me all this time your son;

      I've always felt

      (Distinctly felt)

      That I was born to better things

      Than portering, and such-like, brings,

      I'll hurry now, and tell poor Rowe

      What, doubtless, he will feel a blow."

      "Stay! stay!" the woman cried, "'tis true,

      My poor ill-treated boy, that you

      Have every right

      (Undoubted right)

      To feel aggrieved. I had the chance

      Your future welfare to advance

      By changing babes. I knew I'd rue it,

      My poor boy—but—I didn't do it."