Peter Arnott: Two Plays. Peter Arnott
God will find a way to punish me. One day. I know He will.
The music crashes. We see the moment of the disaster (in reverse?) as experienced by our first story teller – the school teacher DAVID NEISH. The train is re-arranged for Neish’s story. Once the carriage is reconstructed, NEISH tells his story to the other passengers…who through long practice, are now participants as well as audience. As his story progresses, the set is minimally altered to aid his story telling, which is also aurally supported by music and sound design.
MR NEISH’S STORY
NEISH Failure is the best discipline. That’s what Mr Durisdeer taught me. I can still hear him.
(In the voice of his dead teacher.)
‘Failure, my dear boys, if only it is joined by perseverance, is full of instruction. Tis not in mere mortals to command success. We will do more. We will deserve it!’
(In his own voice.)
We will deserve it.
(He begins the catechism.)
Who made you?
PASSENGERS as CHILDREN (Knowing the story, joining in.) God, Mr Neish!
NEISH What else did God make?
CHILDREN God made all things, Mr Neish.
NEISH Why did God make you and all things?
CHILDREN For his own glory, Mr Neish.
NEISH How can you and I glorify God?
CHILDREN By loving him and doing what he commands, Mr Neish.
NEISH By loving him and doing what he commands.
His commandment is simple. Isn’t it? His commandment is tae dae right. And aabiddy kens whit’s right. Aabiddy. We aa ken when we dae right…and we surely ken it fine when we dae wrang.
Since I began teaching, I’ve been doing what Mr Durisdeer taught me. I’ve been looking for faces amang aa the other faces. And I dae see them. If only for a term…a month…a week…faces ae a certain…quality…
What quality is that?
Weel…no like they were characters in a book…lost aristocrats mistakenly placed amang the rabble.
It’s sadness…I think. Sadness for the world. Is that fanciful?
Very well. It’s fanciful.
MCQUARRIE Has Oliver Twist appeared yet in yer classroom, Mr Neish? Or Becky Sharp?
NEISH I fear not, Mr McQuarrie.
MCQUARRIE Will you let us all know when they reveal themselves…so we can all come and stare at them…in wonder.
(Passengers laugh, joining in MCQUARRIE’s cynicism.)
NEISH (Silencing them.) Why is it sae easy…to mock? Why is it easier to despair than to hope? Because it is merr comfortable tae surrender to a bad world than tae strive for a better yin. One looks sophisticatit, when one is, in fact, craven. One appears realistic when one is, in fact, self-serving.
In any case, I found him. I saw his face. His singular face amang aa the ither faces. Euan MacBride. I spoke tae him. I found something in him. I saw…a spark…
And I needed a colleague to support me in my argument to the headmaister that this pupil of outstanding promise merited individual tuition…and transfer tae a merr advanced class…and there was naebiddy else on the staff I thocht would support me. So I asked McQuarrie. Looking back, asking help from that man was the very worst thing I could have done.
(Bar lighting and ambience. NEISH steps forward into a reconstructed memory. The ELIZA actress plays the barmaid from his own ‘compartment’)
I’m not used to coming into a place like this. What if one of the elders should see us?
MCQUARRIE To see us, they’d need to be in here themselves. And then we’d see them. Heavens, you’ve a lot to learn about school teaching!
BARMAID What will ye tak, Mister McQuarrie?
MCQUARRIE Whisky, my pet. As ever.
BARMAID And your pal? Ur ye new here?
NEISH Water. Thank ye.
BARMAID (Serving MCQUARRIE.) You a domine n’a’?
NEISH Yes.
BARMAID (Indicates MCQUARRIE.) But no like this yin, eh?
MCQUARRIE (Hugging her, enjoying NEISH’s discomfort.) Elsa here was one of my pupils. Weren’t you, sweetheart? Before your time, Mr Neish.
(BARMAID gets NEISH’s water)
NEISH Thank you.
MCQUARRIE (To ELSA.) Polite, isn’t he?
(She laughs and leaves.)
Well, speak up, Mr Neish! We’ve only half an hour for luncheon.
NEISH We should we put Euan MacBride in the scholarship class. I can prepare him.
MCQUARRIE Have we any reason to think he will have the active support of his family?
NEISH I have spoken to his mother. She wants the best for him.
MCQUARRIE She does not provide him with shoes.
NEISH I can provide his footwear. If we but elevate him to the place where he has a chance…he will take that chance. And we will be proud of him. The whole school will be proud.
MCQUARRIE Or embarrassed. This is a dangerous game you’re playing, Mr Neish. The governors know of your wee projects…and they know that the prospect exists of being made fools of. They care about these things. They go to dinner with men they should prefer did not laugh at them behind their napkins.
(Classroom ambience.)
NEISH Why ought you to glorify God?
CHILDREN Because he made me and takes care of me, Mr Neish.
NEISH Are there more gods than one?
CHILDREN There is only one God, Mr Neish.
NEISH Only one God…one truth. One truth to learn.
(Bar room ambience.)
MCQUARRIE Learn? Sixty unhappy brats in a single cold classroom, all ages, all abilities! They cannot learn in an Artisan School as they understand the word at the University. One can thrash some rudimentary repetitions into them! But teach? Hardly! And why teach them anything at all if they can only learn to despise their lot in life? When they can be contented, ignorant servants in agriculture, industry and domestic service!
NEISH Euan is not going to be a servant! That is why…
MCQUARRIE Some may end in prison or the army, and a little beating from us will accustom them to that life too. And for the rest, let us pass the time for them and for ourselves as pleasantly as maybe.
NEISH If they are fated to bleach and spin and weave, it is an accident of history and geography. But is it not true that every advance in human history has come from those who broke the bounds of necessity? Should we not take account of the exceptional?
MCQUARRIE You? For example…
NEISH Me? We’re not talking about me…
MCQUARRIE Are we not, though? Farmtoun boy made good? Durisdeer…was that not yer teacher’s name?
NEISH We are talking about our pupil. Euan MacBride.
MCQUARRIE If you say so…
NEISH He is of exceptional ability and intelligence, you can see that. But unless he has help from you and me, then yes…it may be his destiny to submit to a working life of severity and poverty…but more likely, given his energy and intelligence, crime…a life of crime…
MCQUARRIE Are we saving our citizens