Hope and Joy & The Return. Ellie Stewart
sure I laughed the first time.
MAGNUS: I don’t think it’s her first time Mum. She said, ‘Don’t you even wax?’
HOPE: Wax?
Down there?
MAGNUS: Everyone’s waxing.
And then we were learning how to prepare chicken and I felt sick so I / went to
HOPE: Wait a minute …
Melissa put her hand down your trousers in Food Tech?
MAGNUS: Don’t be stupid. That would be totally unhygienic. Food Tech’s straight after break.
HOPE: Right.
MAGNUS: I went to the school office and they tried to phone you but I had to go back to class.
HOPE: Shit!
…
Sorry Magnus.
MAGNUS: Do you know how they pluck birds?
They scald the carcass in hot water and put it in a rotating drum with spikes. Then they singe the skin to get the fluff off.
It smells terrible.
Like burning hair.
HOPE: Oh Magnus … you shouldn’t have to sit through that.
MAGNUS: Don’t do anything, Mum. Don’t go and complain or anything stupid like that.
HOPE: …
MAGNUS: It’s no big deal and the teachers’ll just laugh at me.
HOPE: The teachers laugh at you?
MAGNUS: They’re always laughing at me.
Pause.
MAGNUS: Please?
HOPE: OK.
MAGNUS: Promise?
Pause.
MAGNUS: Do you think I should wax?
HOPE: I have no idea. But if Melissa’s laughing at you then …
MAGNUS: I should wax.
HOPE: No. Maybe she’s not right for you.
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