Social-Emotional Learning and the Brain. Marilee Sprenger B.
features a video showing Demetrius Davenport, dean of students at Health Sciences High and Middle College, who clearly is one of those educators who goes out of his way to know all the students' names and tries to speak to them daily.
Pat Wolfe, author of Brain Matters (2010), often talked about the "cocktail party effect" during her presentations. This phenomenon refers to the brain's ability to block out chatter in situations such as a cocktail party, where many conversations are occurring at the same time and the brain has the ability to filter out talk that is not important. However, the moment that you hear your name, your brain instantly begins to focus on the conversation that included your name.
This effect has been studied for decades, and as a result neuroscience is getting closer to identifying the exact areas that react to our name being mentioned. The fact is that we are attracted to the sound of our name on many levels. The reticular activating system in the brain stem, which is associated with instincts and controls breathing and other vital functions, responds to our name because survival may be involved. Perhaps our name is going to be followed by a warning to "watch out!" The survival brain does not want to miss the opportunity to save us. And the emotional brain is going to respond to this "name calling" because it may represent the beginning of a compliment, a reprimand, or a pleasurable realization that someone important to you knows your name. Our names are so powerful that even patients in vegetative states show brain activation when their names are spoken (Carmody & Lewis, 2006; NameCoach, 2017). Imagine how important it is for students to hear their own names—pronounced correctly, with a positive connotation! Let's encourage, motivate, and connect with our students in the most basic way by learning and remembering to use their names when speaking to or about them. "Candace, I see that you finished your project, and I can't wait to listen to your presentation!" "Hakim, you look like you have an idea to add to our list. We'd like to hear it!"
Simple statements help us connect to the people around us, so let's use our "name-calling" abilities to build relationships. You will be helping to create a feeling of belonging that can make a world of difference to your students.
Call on Each Student Regularly
If we want to build strong relationships with students, we have to be fair in how we show them that we care. We all have students who want to be called on all the time. They know the answers; they ask the questions. We'd like to have a whole classroom full of "those" kids. And then we have the students who never want to be called on. They may not know the answers, may not be interested, or are just embarrassed to be singled out. So from the beginning, we have to show students that we are trying to be fair. Here are two helpful strategies:
Popsicle Stick, or Equity Stick: Write each student's name on a Popsicle stick, place the sticks in a cup, and draw one name each time you ask a question. Have a second cup to put the sticks in after you ask a question.
Stack the Deck: This strategy involves writing each student's name on an index card. You begin calling on students by picking off the top of the deck each time you ask a question. Once in a while, you can "stack" the deck by putting more than one card in for some students who need the opportunity to speak.
For both these strategies, you may want to drop the stack of cards or spill the Popsicle sticks occasionally. You can then say, "Oops! I guess we're starting over!" Doing this keeps students on their toes even though they have already been called on.
Go the Extra Mile
We can go the extra mile in a number of ways. When I was teaching in high-crime urban areas, it was sometimes scary to attend events in the evening, but together my colleagues and I tried to attend athletic events, debates, reader's theater, and class plays to show our support for our students.
Often when we join a staff at a school, we are asked to take on an extracurricular activity. Doing so can be a great way to build relationships with students. Even if the activity involves only a small number of the students you teach, it's a beginning. Sometimes you may be able to ask students to join your group to let them know that you care and believe in their ability to take on whatever responsibility is involved.
Other ways to go the extra mile include the following:
Riding the bus with a student who is fearful of other students or doesn't know where to get off
Sending positive notes home
Making home visits
Calling a student after a bad day and discussing it with the parting words "I know tomorrow will be better!"
Learning an English learner's native language, even if only to speak a small number of common words and phrases.
Try 2 × 10
The 2 × 10 strategy has been used as far back as 1983, when it was introduced by Ray Wlodkowski, and it has become a highly effective teaching practice that appears to work almost universally. The strategy is simple: spend 2 minutes per day for 10 consecutive days talking with an at-risk student about anything the student wants to talk about. Many teachers use this technique with all students. The 2 × 10 strategy takes the pressure off both you and the student. It's a brief intervention for at-risk students and a great relationship-building activity.
This strategy is particularly helpful, according to teachers at all grade levels, in dealing with disruptive students. Practice with one student at a time. Most likely, you will find that after the 10 days, you can have brief positive encounters with that student and maintain a healthy relationship.
Mrs. Walshart has assigned her students to cooperative groups to work on their science project. Avi just couldn't settle down and was interrupting the students in his group as well as students in other groups. Rather than reprimand him (an action that might lead to another struggle), Mrs. Walshart called him up to her desk and began talking to him about what had been going on in his life. Much to her surprise, Avi told her that his father had left home two weeks earlier, his mother was looking for a job, and he (Avi) was in charge of his younger sister both before and after school. It was little wonder that Avi was not himself. After that short, barely two-minute talk, Mrs. Walshart sent Avi back to his group and asked him to listen to his teammates and try to contribute to the project. He did so with no further difficulties that day.
The next day, Mrs. Walshart asked Avi how things were going. He shared a funny story about breakfast being a disaster, as his mom usually fixed wonderful food, and he barely knew how to cook. Mrs. Walshart laughed along with Avi and then offered a brief story of her own. Avi's behavior was much better that day. Mrs. Walshart thought, "Two days down and eight to go!"
Her relationship with Avi and other students improved so much after using the strategy that, whenever she could, Mrs. Walshart took two minutes with other students and improved the overall quality of her relationships with them. Discipline problems were no longer the most important factor in her teaching.
Some teachers say they don't have time to use the strategy—they're seemingly unable to find even two minutes per day to talk to a student. In such cases, I ask if I or someone else can come into the classroom to observe. I know how busy teachers are; I may have said the same thing years ago. When I observe the class, I am focusing on time—our most precious commodity. It never fails that if I am in the class at the right moment, I will see a teacher spending time—from a few seconds to a few minutes—correcting student behavior. I write down the times when this occurs, and after class the teacher and I talk about not only the time spent with the corrections, but also the amount of time needed to get back on task—for both the teacher and the student. Usually it's more than two minutes.
I think many kids desperately want to talk to someone. The first step in the 2 × 10 strategy may be the hardest, and with really tough cases, you may want to start a conversation with a student who likes to speak with you, and do so near the target student. You might even invite that student