The Collected Works of Honore de Balzac. The griffin classics
all, a hoax or a practical joke is enjoyed with delight. This fancy or custom does, to a certain extent, explain Georges Marest’s behavior in the coucou. The gravest and most gloomy clerk is possessed, at times, with a craving for fun and quizzing. The instinct with which a set of young clerks will seize and develop a hoax or a practical joke is really marvellous. The denizens of a studio and of a lawyer’s office are, in this line, superior to comedians.
In buying a practice without clients, Desroches began, as it were, a new dynasty. This circumstance made a break in the usages relative to the reception of new-comers. Moreover, Desroches having taken an office where legal documents had never yet been scribbled, had bought new tables, and white boxes edged with blue, also new. His staff was made up of clerks coming from other officers, without mutual ties, and surprised, as one may say, to find themselves together. Godeschal, who had served his apprenticeship under Maitre Derville, was not the sort of clerk to allow the precious tradition of the “welcome” to be lost. This “welcome” is a breakfast which every neophyte must give to the “ancients” of the office into which he enters.
Now, about the time when Oscar came to the office, during the first six months of Desroches’ installation, on a winter evening when the work had been got through more quickly than usual, and the clerks were warming themselves before the fire preparatory to departure, it came into Godeschal’s head to construct and compose a Register “architriclino-basochien,” of the utmost antiquity, saved from the fires of the Revolution, and derived through the procureur of the Chatelet-Bordin, the immediate predecessor of Sauvaguest, the attorney, from whom Desroches had bought his practice. The work, which was highly approved by the other clerks, was begun by a search through all the dealers in old paper for a register, made of paper with the mark of the eighteenth century, duly bound in parchment, on which should be the stamp of an order in council. Having found such a volume it was left about in the dust, on the stove, on the ground, in the kitchen, and even in what the clerks called the “chamber of deliberations”; and thus it obtained a mouldiness to delight an antiquary, cracks of aged dilapidation, and broken corners that looked as though the rats had gnawed them; also, the gilt edges were tarnished with surprising perfection. As soon as the book was duly prepared, the entries were made. The following extracts will show to the most obtuse mind the purpose to which the office of Maitre Desroches devoted this register, the first sixty pages of which were filled with reports of fictitious cases. On the first page appeared as follows, in the legal spelling of the eighteenth century: —
In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, so be it. This
day, the feast of our lady Saincte-Geneviesve, patron saint of
Paris, under whose protection have existed, since the year 1525
the clerks of this Practice, we the under-signed, clerks and
sub-clerks of Maistre Jerosme-Sebastien Bordin, successor to the
late Guerbet, in his lifetime procureur at the Chastelet, do hereby
recognize the obligation under which we lie to renew and continue
the register and the archives of installation of the clerks of
this noble Practice, a glorious member of the Kingdom of Basoche,
the which register, being now full in consequence of the many acts
and deeds of our well-beloved predecessors, we have consigned to
the Keeper of the Archives of the Palais for safe-keeping, with
the registers of other ancient Practices; and we have ourselves
gone, each and all, to hear mass at the parish church of
Saint-Severin to solemnize the inauguration of this our new
register.
In witness whereof we have hereunto signed our names: Malin,
head-clerk; Grevin, second-clerk; Athanase Feret, clerk; Jacques
Heret, clerk; Regnault de Saint-Jean-d’Angely, clerk; Bedeau,
youngest clerk and gutter-jumper.
In the year of our Lord 1787.
After the mass aforesaid was heard, we conveyed ourselves to
Courtille, where, at the common charge, we ordered a fine
breakfast; which did not end till seven o’clock the next morning.
This was marvellously well engrossed. An expert would have said that it was written in the eighteenth century. Twenty-seven reports of receptions of neophytes followed, the last in the fatal year of 1792. Then came a blank of fourteen years; after which the register began again, in 1806, with the appointment of Bordin as attorney before the first Court of the Seine. And here follows the deed which proclaimed the reconstitution of the kingdom of Basoche: —
God in his mercy willed that, in spite of the fearful storms which
have cruelly ravaged the land of France, now become a great
Empire, the archives of the very celebrated Practice of Maitre
Bordin should be preserved; and we, the undersigned, clerks of the
very virtuous and very worthy Maitre Bordin, do not hesitate to
attribute this unheard-of preservation, when all titles,
privileges, and charters were lost, to the protection of
Sainte-Genevieve, patron Saint of this office, and also to the
reverence which the last of the procureurs of noble race had for
all that belonged to ancient usages and customs. In the uncertainty
of knowing the exact part of Sainte-Genevieve and Maitre Bordin in
this miracle, we have resolved, each of us, to go to Saint-Etienne
du Mont and there hear mass, which will be said before the altar
of that Holy-Shepherdess who sends us sheep to shear, and also to
offer a breakfast to our master Bordin, hoping that he will pay
the costs.
Signed: Oignard, first clerk; Poidevin, second clerk; Proust,
clerk; Augustin Coret, sub-clerk.
At the office.
November, 1806.
At three in the afternoon, the above-named clerks hereby return
their grateful thanks to their excellent master, who regaled them
at the establishment of the Sieur Rolland restaurateur, rue du
Hasard, with exquisite wines of three regions, to wit: Bordeaux,
Champagne, and Burgundy, also with dishes most carefully chosen,
between the hours of four in the afternoon to half-past seven in
the evening. Coffee, ices, and liqueurs were in abundance. But
the presence of the master himself forbade the chanting of hymns
of praise in clerical stanzas. No clerk exceeded the bounds of
amiable gayety, for the worthy, respectable, and generous patron
had promised to take his clerks to see Talma in “Brittanicus,” at
the Theatre-Francais. Long life to Maitre Bordin! May God shed
favors on his venerable pow! May he sell dear so glorious a
practice! May the rich clients for whom he prays arrive! May his
bills of costs and charges be paid in a trice! May our masters to
come be like him! May he ever be loved by clerks in other worlds
than this!
Here