Hiding In The Dark. Sava Mathou
good, but what are you up to? I know that tone.” Sue listened to her friend in the phone with a new eagerness.
Nervously, she said, “Let’s talk over coffee. I want to bounce a couple of ideas off you and see what you think of something I may be doing in the very near future.”
“Okay. Half hour?”
“Half hour. See you then!”
Hanging up the phone, Ellie headed to the restroom to freshen up. Again, she was surprised by the face in the mirror. Smiling, she looked at herself and tried to think of what was different. She had just made a phone call and talked to Susan. Yet there it was, plain as day, written all over her face.
That’s it!
A sparkle!
Ellie saw the sparkle of life back in her eyes. It surprised her because she honestly hadn’t realized it was gone. No wonder her friends were so worried about her. She would have to call up the kids and reassure them that she was coming around and get them to come down for a visit. Maybe then, John Jr. would see she didn’t need a live-in nurse. Still, she must have caused them some worry. If a bathroom mirror could be so truthful to her own self, then what must have her poor kids and friends thought? A phrase popped into her head, making her blush, Time to grab the bull by the horns! With that phrase stuck in her mind, Ellie squared her shoulders and smiled at herself in the mirror.
Driving over to Sue and Chuck’s store, Books by the Volume, Ellie found herself, having to slow the car down. The mph dial was well over the legal limit. She was happy again. Summer had come to Helena, and she hadn’t quite realized it. Now with the windows down, she felt the wind on her hair and skin and enjoyed driving a little faster than normal. She made good time, zipping up North Montana Avenue, turning right onto Cedar Street and heading toward Last Chance Gulch. Soon, Books by the Volume came into view on Last Chance Gulch.
As she parallel parked on Last Chance Gulch, it still amazed Ellie that people found gold, washing into the street after a good rain. Most tourists would never look to their feet during a rain but head for the nearest shelter, missing the chance to find a real piece of Montana gold and Montana history located just at their feet. Montana riches are hidden beneath their toes.
Across the street from her stood Books by the Volume. She saw Sue, standing on the old library ladder in the window, putting more new volumes on the upper shelves. Opening her car door, Ellie suddenly felt butterflies in her stomach. She was about to tell her best friend that this suburban housewife wanted to become a private detective. Ellie began to imagine the spirited calls to the nuthouse in Warm Springs. Whispered conversations in the background that Ellie Lynn Moore had finally lost her mind and gone around the bend. Ellie knew she was being a bit foolish in her new adventure, but it was something she was determined to do.
Taking a deep breath, she exhaled slowly and pushed herself up from the front seat of the car. It was now or never. She raced between cars and crossed the street. After all, she had only made a call. It wasn’t like she had signed up for the course yet. She would tell Sue and gauge her reaction. Ellie hoped her friend wouldn’t break down in front of her in hysterical laughter.
Grasping the handle on the front door of the bookstore. She felt as though her legs were going to give way and buckle at any moment. Now, she wished she hadn’t told Sue to put bells on the front door to let her know when people arrived in the store. The bells signaled her entrance. Now Ellie wished she was invisible. Darn bells!
Sue called from the ladder, “Hey, hun. Be right with you in a minute. Help yourself to some coffee. Just have a couple more books to be put up.”
“Okay!” was all she could muster.
Ellie made her way quickly to the back of the store and the fresh coffee. Now she wanted to avoid the coming conversation for as long as possible. Pouring herself a cup of coffee, she noticed her hands trembling.
Suddenly, a hand was on her shoulder. Jumping, she threw the coffee and dropped the coffee pot. It was only Sue. Ellie turned around to see Sue, staring at her with her mouth agape. Trembling, Ellie grabbed a hand full of napkins and began cleaning up the spilled coffee and broken glass without a word.
On her hands and knees, trembling and trying not to make eye contact with her best friend, Ellie’s emotions suddenly drew to the surface.
Suddenly, Ellie began to cry.
Climbing to her feet, Ellie moved to the leather reading sofa and dropped her body into the couch. Head in her hands, Ellie began to cry for her husband, herself, her children, and their family. It suddenly dawned on her that she hadn’t really cried since John Sr. died, and now, it was all coming out in a big blubbery mess. This wasn’t supposed to happen now. She had come to the bookstore to tell her friend that she had finally pulled herself up by the boot straps and gotten her life back in order. This was not helping her look like she had gotten her life together again.
Sue let her friend cry. It was about time that she let loose all that hurt and anger over losing her husband. Instinctively, Sue knew why Ellie was crying. Her and her husband, Chuck, had been worried for a long time over their dear friend. Sometimes Ellie tried to put up a brave front for everyone else and wouldn’t give herself the time to heal and recover. It was good now to see her friend, getting out the feelings that she had been holding inside for far too long. Frankly, it relieved Sue to know that her friend was finally touching on the feelings that she had bottled deep inside.
Quietly, Sue moved to the front door of the store and locked it. Grabbing the closed sign and putting it in the door, she drew the curtains to give her and Ellie privacy to be alone and talk. Something had been brewing in Ellie for the last week or two, and Sue knew it would come out sooner or later. It would just take some time for Ellie to work through, and when she was ready, she would come to Sue with her thoughts and want to talk. Looking over at her friend. Sue sat amazed that they had developed such a lasting rich friendship. She had grown to love Ellie like family and no longer thought of her as a customer. Ellie was more like a beloved member of Sue and Chuck’s family.
When Ellie had first come into their new store many years ago, Sue saw a woman who was obviously wealthy and carried herself with such dignity and grace. The thought brought a tear to Susan’s eye. Sue had been nervous to approach the woman in her store. Sue was a simple Montana farm girl and was immediately intimidated by the woman and her appearance. The thought now brought a smile to her face. Sue couldn’t have been more wrong about Ellie. As soon as Ellie asked her about a book she was wanting, Sue had felt a toughness and a warmth from this woman. They had been friends ever since.
Sue moved back over to the sofa and put her arm around Ellie. With her other hand, she reached up and pulled Ellie’s head softly to her shoulder. Remaining in their tender embrace for many minutes, Ellie cried out her loss in the protective touch of her friend. It was a moment that could only be shared by two old friends. Family.
Whispering, Sue rocked Ellie and said, “Shh now. It’s all right. Let it all out. This has been coming for a while now. Shh. There now. It’s all right. You just take your time and cry it all out.”
*****
Driving back home, Ellie thought she had temporarily lost her mind. She had begun to blurt out everything to Sue. Sue never said a word but just sat back on the couch and listened. She didn’t know if Sue was too shocked to say anything, or was simply being a friend and taking it all in. When her outburst of emotion was over, Sue had sat back, thinking with her chin in her hand. Ellie knew this was never a good sign. Sue usually only did this when she was powering up to let someone have it with both barrels. Instead, she heard this.
“Well, woman, it’s about time you get off your duff and stop feeling sorry for yourself. I have been wanting to kick you in the butt for holding everything in all this time. But I should know by now that this is typical Ellie. Just waiting to spill over before picking up the pieces to move on. Now for this private detective business. If this is what you want to do, then I am all for it. Really. It doesn’t surprise me none. You have had your head in those dime store novels for years. God knows that if anyone is going to do this, then it’s you.