Rebellious Parenting. Richard Blackaby

Rebellious Parenting - Richard Blackaby


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      3. Encourage your kids to argue with you.

      George Patton once said, “If everybody is thinking alike, then somebody isn’t thinking.”

      I (Carrie) am an opinionated person. Though I don’t always voice my views, I try to take an informed stance on controversial issues that crop up in society. My dad has always pressed my brothers and me to form our own opinions and then to be prepared to back them up with facts and careful thought. He takes great pleasure in seeing how strong our convictions are and how well we can defend them. Regardless of the topic (and his own view), he always plays devil’s advocate.

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      Mom: Don’t be afraid to let your kids argue with you. You might learn something.

      After a teenage Christian friend of mine got into an accident with his parents’ car because he had been drinking and driving, I made a pretty strong statement to my dad:

      Carrie: I don’t know how you can be a Christian and drink alcohol. Dad: Well that’s an interesting viewpoint. As far as I know, Jesus was a Christian, and he apparently made wine for a party, didn’t he?

      Carrie: Dad! That’s different. In Jesus’ day, the wine wasn’t nearly as strong in alcohol content as it is today. And Jesus certainly never got drunk! Or drove on multi-lane freeways after drinking.

      Dad: Carrie, what about all of the Christians around the world, such as in Europe, who do drink? Are you saying they aren’t really Christians?

      Carrie: Well, obviously I can’t speak for everyone in the world who claims to be a Christian. But didn’t the apostle Paul say he would not eat meat if it caused someone to stumble? Alcohol has caused incredible amounts of suffering and violence and damage in America. I don’t see how any Christian in America could see how much suffering alcohol causes and then not do as Paul did, and abstain from it.

      Dad: I commend you for your conviction. But don’t you think you are being too harsh on others who don’t necessarily share your convictions?

      Carrie: No. I think anyone who takes the Bible seriously and who sees what alcohol does to people, won’t drink.

      Dad: What if you discovered that your boyfriend drank occasionally?

      Carrie: He wouldn’t be my boyfriend anymore.

      Over the years, we had conversations like that one. Our discussions covered numerous topics. Sometimes we bantered about ethics, theology, or worldviews; at other times, we focused on matters pertaining to church, school, or politics. Dad always pushed me to defend my opinion. By the end of every debate, I realized there were facets of the topic that I had never considered before. I also had a firmer grasp of the issues, and my own opinion.

      The point here isn’t about whether my opinion was right or wrong. (The only debate I clearly won with him was when he tried to argue for the legitimacy of using puns as an acceptable form of humor.) I always knew that Dad wasn’t trying to be argumentative. He just wanted me to know how to think through deep issues. And thanks to our debates, I developed the skill of supporting my convictions.

      4. Be a role model for lifelong learning.

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