The Complete Works of George Bernard Shaw. GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
a sickening sensation, a man stagger out on his hands and knees from between the horse’s feet, and then roll over on his back with a long groaning sigh.
“My God!” exclaimed the lady, hastily opening the carriage door, and alighting. “Bring me one of the lamps. It is a young gentleman. Pray God he be not dead.”
The coachman reluctantly descended from his box, and approached with a lamp. The lady looked at him impatiently, expecting him to lift the insensible stranger; but he only looked down dubiously at him, and kept aloof.
“Can you not rouse him, or help him to stand up?” she said indignantly.
“I am not such a fool as that,” said the man. “Better not meddle with him. It is an affair for the police.”
The lady pouted scornfully and stooped over the sufferer, who lifted his eyes feebly. Seeing her face, he opened his eyes widely and quickly, looking up at her with wonder, and raising his hand appealingly. She caught it without hesitation, and said anxiously:
“You are better now, monsieur, are you not? I hope you are not seriously hurt.”
“Wha’s matter?” said the young man indistinctly. “Are you hurt?” she repeated in English.
“Nor’at all,” he replied, with drunken joviality.
Then he attempted to laugh, but immediately winced, and after a flew plunges, staggered to his feet. The coach man recoiled, but the lady did not move.
“Where is he,” he continued, looking round. “Yah! You’ll kick, will you? Come out, you coward. Come out and shew yourself. Yah! Kick, then run away and hide! I’ll slog the kicking out of you. Will you face me with your fists like a man?” He uttered the last sentence with an accession of fury, and menaced the coachman, who retreated. The stranger struck at him, but the blow, reaching nothing, swung the striker round until he was face to face with the lady, whom he regarded with astonishment.
“I beg your par’n,” he said, subsiding into humbleness. “I really beg your par’n. The fellow gave me a fearf’ kick in the face, and I barely know where I am yet. ‘Pon my soul,” he added, with foolish glee, “it’s the mos’extor’nary thing. Where has he gone?”
“Of whom do you speak” said the lady in French.
“Of — of — je parle d’polisson qui m’a donne un affreux coup de pied under the nose. Jái un grand desir dénfoncer ce lâche maudit.”
“Unhappily, monsieur, it was my horse that hurt you. I am in despair—”
“No, no. I tell you it was a fellow named Annatoal, a card sharper. If I ever catch him again, I’ll teach him the English version of the savate. I’ll kick him from one end of Paris to the other.” As he spoke he reeled against the carriage, and, as the horse stirred uneasily, clutched at the door to save himself from falling.
“ Madame,” said the coachman, who had been looking anxiously for the approach of the police: “do you not see that this is a sot? Better leave him to himself.”
“I am not drunk,” said the young man earnestly “I have been drinking; but upon my solemn word I am not drunk. I have been attacked and knocked about the head; and I feel very queer. I can’t remember how you came here exactly, though I remember your picking me up. I hope you won’t leave me.”
The lady, moved by his boyish appearance and the ingenious faith with which he made this appeal, was much perplexed, pitying, but not knowing what to do with him. “Where do you live?” she said. “I will drive you home with pleasure.”
He became very red. “Thanks awfully,” he said; “but the fact is, I don’t live anywhere in particular. I must go to some hotel. You are very kind; but I won’t trouble you any further. I am all right now.” But he was evidently not all right; for after standing a moment away from the carriage, shamefacedly waiting for the lady to reply, he sat down hastily on the kerbstone, and added, after panting a little, “You must excuse me, Mrs Herbert. I can’t stand very well yet. You had better leave me here: I shall pick myself up presently.”
“Tiens, tiens, tiens! You seem to know me, monsieur. I, too, recollect your face, but not your name.”
“Everybody knows you. You may have seen me at Mrs. Phipson’s, in London. I’ve been there when you were there. But really you’d better drive on. This house is a gambling den; and the people may come out at any minute. Don’t let your carriage be seen stopping here.”
“But I hardly like to leave you here alone and hurt.”
“Never mind me: it serves me right. Besides, I’d rather you’d leave me, I would indeed.”
She turned reluctantly toward the carriage, put her foot on the step, and looked back. He was gazing wistfully after her. “But it is inhuman!” she exclaimed, returning. “Come, monsieur, I dare not leave you in such a condition: it is the fault of my horse. I will bring you where you shall be taken care of until you are restored.”
“It’s awfully good of you” he murmured, rising unsteadily and making his way to the carriage door, which he held whilst she got in. He followed, and was about to place himself bashfully on the front seat, when the coachman, illhumoredly using his whip, started the vehicle and upset him into the vacant space next Aurélie. He uttered an imprecation, and sat bolt upright for a moment. Then, sinking back against the cushion, and moving his hand until it touched her dress, he said drowsily, “It’s really mos’awfully good of you,” and fell asleep.
He was aroused by a shaking which made his head ache. An old and ugly woman held him by one shoulder, and the coachman, cursing him for a besotted pig, was about to drag him out by the other. He started up and got out of the carriage, the two roughly saving him from stumbling forward. In spite of his protests that he could walk alone they pulled him indoors between them. He struggled to free himself, but the woman was too strong for him: he was hauled ignominiously into a decent room, where sofa had been prepared for him with a couple of rugs and a woman’s shawl. Here he was forced to lie down, and bidden to be quiet until the doctor came. The coachman, with a parting curse, then withdrew; and his voice, deferentially pitched, was audible as he reported what he had done to the lady without. There was another person speaking also; but she spoke in a tone of vehement remonstrance, and in a strange language.
“Look here, ma’am,” said the young man from the sofa. “You needn’t trouble sending for a doctor. There’s nothing the matter with me.”
“Silence, great sot,” chattered the old woman.”I have other things to do than to listen to thy gibberish. Lay thyself down this instant.”
“Will I, by Jove!” he said, kicking off the rug and sitting up. “Can you buy soda water anywhere at this hour?”
“Ah, ingrate! Is it thus that thou obeyest the noble lady who succored thee. Fie!”
“What is the matter, madame,” said Aurélie, entering.
“I was only asking her not to send for a doctor. I have no bones broken; and a doctor is no use. Please don’t fetch one. If I could have a little plain water — or even soda water — to drink, I should be all right.” Whilst he was speaking, an old lady appeared behind Aurélie. She seemed to suffer from a severe cold; for she had tied up her face in a red handkerchief, which gave her a grim aspect as she looked resentfully at him.
“I shall bring you some drink,” said Aurélie quietly. “Mamma,” she added, turning to the older lady; “pray return to your bed. Your face will be swollen again if you stand in the draught. I have but to get this young gentleman what he asks for.”
“The young gentleman has no business here,” said the lady. “You are imprudent, Aurélie, and frightfully self-willed.” She then disappeared. The stranger reddened and attempted to rise; but Aurélie, also blushing, quieted him by a gesture, whilst the old woman shook her fist at him. Aurélie then left the room, promising to return, and leaving him alone with the woman, who seized the opportunity to recommence her reproaches,